Is God enough?
This has been plaguing me. Because my mind’s certainly being drastically truthful in letting me understand that I am/have been in a position where I cannot say this. Oh, I want to say it, but I know I use so much more to fill or attempt to fill me that is not God.
Yes God is enough, that’s not what I meant when I questioned it but it is the whipslash on that question that frustrates me.
Understanding that God is big enough, good enough, loving enough is not entirely the issue either. I know that he is. Allowing him to fill the void instead of sidelining Him is another matter.
In some ways I guess I have grappled with this on a daily basis – I assume most Christians do, conciously or unconciously. We are very ‘needy’ us humans. Need and want, need and want. Our desires are sadly not, rarely, if ever completely God centred.
This issue stands out like red from black when, well for me I look at the lack – or percieved lack in relationships. To put starkly – love.
A want, a desire, a need? No my life isn’t without love, to say so would discredit friends, family and so many others.
I desperately want God to meet me in this. I want so badly to be able to say, “God my shepherd: I don’t need a thing” and to fully grasp that your (God’s), “beauty and love chase after me every day of my life”.
I find it hard. I wish I didn’t. I need to look more for God’s love because I know it’s there. I have seen it. I need to stop forgetting and love God with my entirity.
GOD, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
Even when the way goes through
I’m not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd’s crook
makes me feel secure.
You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.
Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of GOD
for the rest of my life.