Preclude (abridged)

I am always curiously intrigued by the way that my thoughts are followed by something that is relevant – a class or a conversation etc…

Love
Tim Heinz came and did one of his ‘famous lectures’. As Tom said, “It feels good tohear truth – it sits right.” (paraphrase)
This love lecture was predominantly on love between you and a future partner. ‘That’ kind of relationship. He gave a definition of love borrowed from M. Scott Peck (and some book title I can’t remember).

Love is the will of extending oneself for the purpose of nourishing another’s spiritual growth

The word spiritual within the context of holistic: will, emotion, physicallity etc…

I was silenced with words I knew the fundamentals of entirely pleased at what was presented and grateful that it opened more areas to scope.

Alecia was a little disappointed in the fact it took a lot of the fairytale out of it. In some ways it did. He did not delve/look much into the romance side of things, maybe he missed that because he is male – no harshness in generalising but it’s a fairly important concept for most females.
However what he did say was good.
Love is a choice, it requires work and courage, love promotes growth in the other (telling the hard truth).
Love onesided wont work – quite obviously.

My mind started partially tripping out when I realised how some of the friendships I have are amazingly true expressions of this kind of love. I am privaliaged to know these people. Honored by the depth of truth they speak into my life and I hope I somehow return or add something to their lives.

The diagram used:

Me You

And when the two individuals grow they meet – reach the point where the me and you touch, the fingers of our lives in anothers.

Marriage puts a closing ring around this. Covenant. When the ‘falling in love’ have faded it contines, this much stronger underlying value.
One but still two individuals. No ‘I complete you crap’.
Freedom in love.
This is what I want.

I talked to Elyce about there being ‘only one’ as she was challenged by this: about praying for her future husband and minorly concerned by the potential many.
Even without this context (one)it still works. Despite free choice of any number of men of one I could/would like to end up married to. God still knows my choice before I make it. A good thing. God stands outside of time, not forced choice, but he knows.
We can still pray.

One Comment

  1. Della Vest said:

    The best advice I got was to not commit to my husband, but to commit to my relationship with my husband. Makes every interaction point toward the future, rather than to the “right now” aspect.

    January 21, 2019
    Reply

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