When you smile

October is the month the lower half of the calendar no longer weighs enough to keep it down.

Hannah is 15 today.

I shared breakfast with her – well I was eating, before leaving for work, she was sitting there with her long legs in her blue and white horizontally striped pyjama pants. Gave her a present, saw her open a few more and then left for work.

I am dead tired, but I have to write as thoughts are demanding position on paper.

On the train. My discman died about twenty seconds after I turned it on, it had been charging all night – I think it is either stuffed, or the rechargable’s in it have gone. Not entirely impressed, but it gave me time to think and I had a good book.

I watched people for a bit. I thought about the ones that I take note of/see more often. The medicare girl. The woman with one arm – she missed her train today, I saw her at the crossing as we pulled in. The younger guy who looks vaguely Jewish. The two guys who catch my tram going home, the guy who reminded me first of craig for some reason and now looks nothing like him – saw him with his girlfriend once ages ago, he looked unbeliveably happy, he’s usually by himself (not such a strange thing for public transport) he doesn’t smile an awful lot. The woman who I see almost every week, the one with the dark hair and open face, I can’t pick her background, would have to be something European. The massively tall, kind of hippi’ish guy, the guy with the fringed bag, the big haired blonde with the stud/beauty spot, the girl with the purple fila bag who looks like a model one day and quite normal the next, the woman with the unusual hair… I could go on.

Work was alright at first. At lunchtime I walked down the street to get a pie (seeing as they had run out of pizza rolls). I pass this lady. I must have a had a half smile or something on my face. Just as I pass her, she smiles – making me smile. Or maybe we did at the same time? I would have said it made my day perhaps. It did contribute to it.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. I love those people who let you cross the road when they don’t necessarily have to stop for you. Kindness in action.

After lunch, Shannon and Rachel come to me with this pile of ‘travel stuff’. (the closet of frustration). So I spent the majority of the afternoon just that, frustrated at attempting to match this with that, shuffling through the many pieces of paper that may or may not be in existence. The travel company had not been sending it’s invoices correctly, and numerous other mistakes – all of which it was my task to find. Who would ever want to be an accountant? Needless to say, they are no longer MBO’s travel company.

I had a welcome if not a little surprising interuption at 3:30-4ish, aided by the chip I put in my mouth just as the phone rang. Sold a few more whiteboard markers 😉

They put an MBO sign on the door today. If you’ve ever been to my work – well it’s not the most well advertised place externally, a bit hard to find. The woman who put the sign up was ultra cheery (which reminds me, saw Mel today 🙂 was good). After she left. Snooky was checking how straight. Shannon thought it was fine. The entire office (well those in) came out to look. They got paper/straight edges, it is a bit crooked, hardly, it would annoy me I think if I looked at it too much. They’ll get it redone, hasn’t been paid for yet.

Something Snooky (Andrew S – everyone calls him Snooky) said today which made me further admire him as a person. Somehow someone – Shan I think came up with talking about ‘The Notebook’ and how it’s a ‘crying’ sort of movie. Then um, Snooky comes in and says he’s ‘forbidden’ his wife to watch it, as she ‘does cry’ and the addition of, she’s ‘cried too much in her life’ (mm something like that). Yeh anyway despite the minor dispute that arose over ‘letting her’ (she doesn’t actually want to see it) – I liked what he said. I’d think normally the ‘indivudualist’ in me would balk at it but maybe something about the ‘protection’ aspect of it appealed.

The trip home. Was sitting on the train. Hear a little girls’ voice making train observations – automatic look. I must have smiled or something. A business man smiled because he caught me smiling. I suddenly realised I knew (people with the kid)them from WPC (church) not too well though. Anyway, I found it funny as it was a ‘double take’ moment, so grinned. I was obviously still being ‘watched’ because business man smiled again – he obviously thought I was blissfully watching this kid or something… anyway, It took me a moment to get the grandma’s name but I found it eventually and said hello. I think I might have fractionally dissapointed the business man, particularly as I had to say hello a couple of times to get her attention (looked like I was hello’ing a stranger :P). I found the whole thing remarkably funny, but by then I was talking to Rosalie (the grandma), Gwenda her daughter had a pram and baby who looked vastly different from last time, and Trachetta the little girl. The baby’s name is Talisha or something (no joke, it’s that close to the other name).

L Station. I meet Jess W and Laura outside the fish and chip shop. We drive to Macca’s, meet Analise, Jacqui and Jess D, to finalise Rye weekend away (ie: redoing schoolies, same people, same house, less stress).That’s next weekend. I’m so over McDonalds.

Home. I’m dead tired. Jess D comes in to use the loo before she heads up ‘home’ (the further away one) and stays to talk for half an hour.

I did necessary stuff, like feed the dog, take out rubbish, and shower.

Sat for an hour not doing anything because I was too stuffed to. I nearly fell asleep on the beanbag but Laura opened the door just as I had almost dropped off.

And here I am now, thought dumping my day.

Sam, not a clue why I was happy yesterday (honest) – sometimes I just am.

Kathy B (my Deakin contact) emailed me back, she’s passed the info along. I should get defferal/acceptance for course letter now. Hurrah, one less thing to worry about!

Jo, thank you so much for that email 🙂 (I disagree on the ‘speech’ was so good bit though 😛 I talked way too fast) As for why I blog, haha so many times I’ve tried to work that out. If you are so inclined I believe I had massive debates with (myself) early on – that are back in the archives somewhere. I’ve given up trying to fully know why. I blogged first as a personal challenge. It has now become a good way to think outloud, interaction is appreciated, I like others being able to give me insight and advice which I may or may not take. Someone said, they get stuff out of it/it makes them think. It’s helpful for me, when something comes up that relys on background info so I don’t have to restate stuff. And a good way to keep you in the loop when I continually fail to live up to any good memory status I have ever recieved about ‘what’s been happening this week’ (ie. I need to say it on the spot or it doesn’t get down). I enjoy the writing…

Yes, shotgunned seat for Jo on Monday 🙂
Use the gmail account for email.

And um, what Jane did 🙂
Coming over in the middle of class (when I was up the back, feeling sick and um rather sad about leaving yits stuff) And acting in a non sentimental way, a hug and just a ‘sitting time’ with me – sort of giving me exactly what I needed. She is ‘one in-tune girl’ (to quote Dave).

Goodnight all.
Smile more, I’m too tired to now.

One Comment

  1. said:

    ahh Bec… i love reading your blog.. that and the fact that i can rely on you to update regulary… 🙂

    mm.. i think that if i tought of yits ending i would burst into tears, and just not be very happy… but there will be time for that. i mean, its not really over until graduation next march…

    October 8, 2005
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