What a good day!
Nicely pertaining to last night.
I have for the past few days been continually stumbling over trust related things. A text I chose to do a New Testament Assignment (Bible Study) on. The Sermon and a book I read last night.
Sunday was awkward in the morning. I felt entirely unable to ‘connect’ with most of everything re: music, sermon etc… except for the satisfying observation about the trust thing. Massive dissatisfaction and all those other feelings I can’t quite find names for. I did hang around with Analise a fair bit. Talked to Daniel, who does YITS at Berwick, compared assignment loads a few ending up thoughts, he’s a good mate of Janice’s so I’ve met him a bit more than some of the others down there. Saw Trev, Curls and Steve (didn’t get to say hello to Steve) as they are now all back from England. Trev looks the same, Curls quite different, Steve as ever. So the people side of church thing was alright.
Sunday night. Shower, got thinking about how I’m feeling/thinking dissatisfied and all that at the moment. Really in many ways uncertain about what next year holds and how I’m going to cope after having this fanatastic learning stream 3 days a week, to practically nothing barr Sunday morning. Oh, that and relationship thoughts that come up once in a while.
Anyway I go frustratingly, ‘argh I need something to read God’ was really not in the mood for flicking open to Pslams or Daniel whatever (Honestly sometimes I need to build on others thoughts before I can come to the Bible, its the way my head works. This does not mean I limit myself to their understanding or reading the Bible for myself no way, but when my head is already choked with thought it’s a useful tactic if there is suitable material around).
I find, in Mum’s almighty stash of books to sell, one called, “The Cinderella Syndrome” by Lee Ezell. It looks really quite old. The photo of the author tells all. (1985). Anyway chosing to intentionally ignore the “Discovering God’s Plan When Your Dreams Don’t Come True” I decided to give it a shot.
I read thing from cover to cover. Yes the book was aimed at females, some at married females. Talked a lot about satisfaction, contentment and trust. I needed to hear a lot of what was being said.
Despite the page not being particularly relevant, the phrase, “After all is said and done, relationships are truly the only things that really matter”. Stuff like that makes me laugh and wonder at God’s humour.
Today. Woke up quite happy (something to do with an earlier night perhaps?). A busy last Tabor Monday. Went down to Eastland with Jane and Dave at lunchtime to pick up some stuff for the end of year party (event we are running) tomorrow. Had a meeting with all the group for that. Attempted to work out if everything was covered. I think we’ll be right. Quite a miraculous ‘everything comes together’ from all the trouble we’ve had around money.
Accountabilty. Ha, we finally prayed. About time! How pathetic 😛 Arranged tentitively to work out how we are going to keep operating after this week is up.
I don’t have a clue how some people’s minds work nor what I think of them.
It is 12:01am, goodbye last YITS Monday.