I was finishing up dishes from what I’ve dubbed the stinky pasta meal – it was seriously not nice, I hope Mum doesn’t make it again, maybe I should’ve said something, and Laura comes out and starts asking me to watch some medical show on TV with her at 10pm. I said, “Um, maybe no” and she did one of her mock crankies and stamped around tantrum like, “Why do you have to be so self disciplined!” It was quite funny (Had my head in the fridge by then) and was laughing at her. That same head, slowed down by the scientifics of anti-heat induced royalty (google: toast king now) is saying, haha yeah right, you’ll go in your room Bec and waste those hours on msn, blogging or doing other such things. It was however a strange thing to hear come out of my sisters mouth. She is perhaps more observant than I thought.

Its quite strange the impressions you slowly gather of yourself. I honestly don’t really know how I come across to people. (Subtle hint for you to tell me sometime)

Several situations lately have entirely surprised me. The other night when I was with the Jess’s (not Jess Rae) I felt old. Okay it’s not hard really to feel mature around them as well… but I felt totally alien from them and three billion times more at home when Jess and Belle showed up, despite knowing Jess C reasonably well. It’s brilliant to hang around people your age (maturity/mentally). That sounds really quite nasty and I don’t intend it to, hope you slightly understand what I’m getting at. How miss being challenged, made to think by someone other than myself or some text I read somewhere. As to self impression I guess it was this shot of, “Wow maybe Bec (laugh here) is quite competent of doing the whole adult thing.”

I have often set myself up, been set up to be this introverted, shy blah etc. who has trouble saying anything when I have nothing to say which is a lot of the time as part of me doesn’t understand the phenomenon of small talk. There are certain situations where I totally do not care. This has got a lot to do with control, I’m fairly sure of it. So at uni next week I do not think I will find it too much of a hassle socially. Sure I’ll probably get the new blues once or twice, but everyone else is on this same footing. I introduced myself with very minimal qualms today to a girl doing *BIM didn’t have much time, but yeah it was fine. Thats not to say some people aren’t more intimidating than others. But contrast that with church stuff where there established understandings of who is friends with whom (so it seems) I slide into my box where I can critique in my own brain and find it SO much effort to do the, “Hi, I don’t know you, you don’t know me.” thing. I really really like the feel of uni. 😉 ask me that again in a couple of weeks when I start having to do work.

I think sometimes I’m quite strange. There’s a huge quirk streak in me, that comes out particularly when I’m alone (and probably when I’m around other people). I was in the backyard after walking Job and see this bit of wood that looks like giraffe legs, I snapped it and made it have a head which was a bit too long so it morphed into this Crocodile with a giraffe neck and legs. I amuse myself far too easily. After that I dropped it on the ground and it broke.

It’s almost 10pm now, I might go watch with Laura afterall, then again…

*Bachelor of Interactive Media shall now be refered to as BIM as it saves a fair bit of finger usage and they call it that anyway. Bec the BIM student… might take off. Hannah dubbed me, “She of the glasses” the other day. I’ve always come to the conclusion that nicknames need to be shorter than your actual name for them to ever take off properly. Rebecca is good but Bec is easier.

Well I’m in a grumpy mood from having rather yuck dinner and Hannah doing her best to talk over me (she got yelled at… not so much by me!) and I’ve got the “I’ve been out far too long today” feeling or something then see blogline has a record 61 entries listed. Most of which turn out to be things I’ve seen before – stupid Bloglines. I also find a quiz on Anthony’s blog so to suit the ‘meh’ mood I’ll do another quiz.

1. Honestly, are you happy right now? no I just said I’m a grump. But uni made me happy today and I’m starting to get minorly excited about it all.
2. Honestly, what color is your underwear? uh… aqua
3. Honestly, whats on your mind right now? why should I say my underwear colour online how stupid. *Got to walk the dog.
4. Honestly, what are you doing right now? writing a blog thinking about shower and other stuff to do… oh dear that’s the dog I forgot to walk him again. guess I’d better go do that* (*see above)
5. Honestly, what did you do today? Uni day Oweek. Wasted so much time in so many ways. Saw Syriana with Jess.
6. Honestly, do you think you are attractive? Sometimes I’m alright.
7. Honestly, have you done something bad today? Does not pay for a parking ticket count? (we didn’t get caught)
8. Honestly, do you watch disney channel? yeah right. pay TV in my house!
9. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? No
10. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? People, strange movies that make me think, little things that I notice (and take my fancy) most that others don’t observe, a good book, deep conversations that aren’t around someone’s messed up life or problems (although they can be good).
11. Honestly, do you bite your nails? Yes.
12. Honestly, what is your mood right now? grumpy/lazy I don’t want to walk the dog but I feel sorry for him so I probably will.
13. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? No
14. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute? No actualy sleep would be nice, alone time would be nice right about now.
15. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? dont’t think so
16. Honestly, do you hate someone right now? No
17. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now? Not currently in a huggy mood, if so It’d have to be a passive one as I haven’t got a lot of energy – that a cop out?
18. Honestly, are you loyal? Yes
19. Honestly are you in denial? No no!
20. Honestly, wouldn’t you rather be having sex right now? Considering I’m not in a huggy mood, or a people mood right now…
21. Honestly, have you ever consumed alcohol? yes
22. Honestly, do you like someone? Lots of people. and as to the ‘thats not an answer’ it is: I don’t know.
23. Honestly, does anyone like you? Maybe. I can’t read minds.
24. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them? Who’s them? Let me know and I might let you know.
25. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly? yes

LAST
1. Person that slept in bed beside you? Ummmm in another bed, but sam I think, when were were camping
2. Saw you cry? Usually only God. Otherwise probably midyear camp then that would’ve been the majority of yitsers. Definitely cried since then though.
4. You went to the mall with? Jess W
5. You went out to dinner with? Jess W
6. You talked on the phone? Laura (“I’ll be home by 6ish”)
7. Broke your heart? N/A
8. Made you laugh? Jess W

WOULD YOU RATHER?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? nose – had the thought to the other week but haven’t gone with it yet.
2. Be serious or be funny? Both. Funny would be handy sometimes as I’m far more serious
3. Drink whole or skim milk? whole. skim milk is white water. Light milk is fine, but skim is DISGUSTING
4. Die in a fire or drown? fire
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? parentals

ARE YOU?
1. Simple or complicated? Complicated
2. Gay? no
3. Hardcore? Nah

DOYOUPREFER?
1. Flowers or candy? Flowers (unless candy uncludes things like Ferro Rochers or the white ones then it becomes a HARD choice)
2. Gray or black? Black
3. Color or Black and white photos? both
5. Sunrise or sunset? if I saw the whole sunrise from a clear/beautiful spot, then that.
6. M&Ms or Skittles? M&M’s and Red/Orange skittles
8. Staying up late or waking up early? Late

ANSWER TRUTH FULLY!!
1. Do you like anyone? I do not know, which basically means No.
2. Do they know it? *see above

DOYOUPREFER?
1. Sun or moon? Moon
2. Winter or Autumn? Autumn, the birthday month, besides temperature is warmer and you get fantastic colours
3. Left or right? right
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? 9 acquaintances and 1 best friend
5. Sun or rain? Rain (but not always)
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate all the way, unless with desert stuff… bring on gelati I mean really what kind of choice is that?
7. Boys or girls? Boys

ABOUTYOU!
1. What time is it? 6:43pm “woof woof walk me bec please walk me!”
2. Name? Rebecca Claire B
3. Nickname(s): Bec, Bee, Becca/Becky (thanks’ lovelys), B___ (last name)
4. Where were you born? Kew
5. What is your birthdate? 4-4-86
6. What do you want? God, Mr. Right, Sleep, No work tomorrow, A car, Photoshop…
7. Where do you want to live?

UNIQUE!
1. Nervous Habits? biting nails, fiddling with things like cups (but thats more a boredom/thinking habit), playing w/ hair or shoulder…. I think I just have habits not all nervous ones.
2. Are you double jointed? my tongue
3. Can you roll your tongue? yes
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? no
5. Can you cross your eyes? Yes
6. Do you make your bed daily? this question sounds familiar. If I have time.

1. Which shoe goes on first? Whichever I find first
2. Ever thrown something at someone? Yeah
3. On average how much money do you carry with you? $40-$60
4. What jewelry do you wear? Earings

ODDS?
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? hmmm. cut probably
2. Have you ever eaten Spam? Yes. In the Solomons you call it MahLing. It’s actually really good fried.
3. Favourite ice cream: pink grapefruit gelati – rare and far between, otherwise, Pistachio is pretty good.
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? a few kinds, I don’t really eat it though too many off milk experiences
5. What’s your favourite beverage? Orange Juice WITH pulp, Coffee
7. Do you cook? Sometimes. I get bagged everytime I do. but I can actually cook not too badly when I’m in an attention paying frame of mind.

—10 Firsts—
First Best Friend:: hmm. Lucy Rentz
First Screenname:: Bee
First Pet Name:: um Punky/Terminator (both guinea pigs)
First Piercing:: one of my ears
First Crush:: honestly don’t know. probably Cory the little kid I hung out with one of the primary schools I went to.
First CD: oooh um. something by Michelle Tumes I think – how embarassing, I bet I have it somewhere
First School:: Kangaroo Ground Primary School
First House Location:: A flat at BCV (Bible College Victoria), Honiara, Solomon Islands (that we owned)
First Kiss:: Ask me when I’m old and grey. Hasn’t yet happened.
First Car:: Soon

—9 Lasts—
Last Time You Smoked:: not smoked. Smoking is disgusting I am vocal about it and make the point of moving if someone comes in the train having just smoked.
Last Food You Ate:: disgusting meat stuff. bit of last nights salad was dinner’s redeeming feature :S
Last Car Ride:: with Jess W
Last Movie You Watched:: Syriana
Last Phone Call:: I just said that! Home.
Last CD You Listened To:: Um. believe it or not, the Bride and Prejudice sound track. It nearly drove me insane but as Jess was driving, it was her right. Gag Gag Gag to Bollywood music.
Last Bubble Bath You Took:: quite a while ago now, might tonight though… hmm better walk that dog.
Last Song You Listened To:: some Sixpence something sibling had on at home. I turned it off.
Last Words You Said:: Probably ‘Quiet!’ to that dog of mine 🙂 lovely Job.

–8 Have-You-Evers—
Dated A Best Friend:: Dated? What’s that?
Been Arrested:: I bet I have playing dressups when I was younger.
Been On TV:: um. no
Eaten Sushi:: tried it once upon a time
Cheated On Your B/F or G/F:: which one 😛
Been On A Blind Date:: No
Been Out Of The Country:: Yes
Been In Love:: dont’ think so

—7 Things You Are Wearing—
1:: Jeans
2:: singlet top
3:: Blue tshirt thing
4:: underwear
5:: bra
6:: earings
7:: deodarant (probably all gone now :P) hooray made it to 7!

—6 Things You’ve Done Today—
1:: Got free breakfast
2:: Library ‘tour’ waste of time
3:: Intro Lecture for multiple subjects, waste of time
4:: Bought a textbook
5:: Saw a movie – Syriana
6:: Wandered aimlessly around Knox for a while

—5 Favourite Things (not in any order)—
1:: People
2:: Internet/Gush/Blogger/Msn (love hate relationship with msn)
3:: Lenses ie: Camera and glasses (glasses help me see)
4:: Books
5:: God

—People You Most Trust (in no order)—
Family (I suppose)
God – but he probably doesn’t count so much as a person
Certain friends
Myself

—2 Choices—
Vanilla or Chocolate:: chocolate
Hugs or Kisses:: bit hard to differentiate when you haven’t had the ‘kiss’ thing. But I’m guessing hugs – from what I hear 😛

–1 Person You Want To See Right Now—
1:: No one thanks. Now is people free zone.

A full two days.

Yesterday evening was spent on a train into the city. Waiting at Flinders for a Broadmeadows train, I was infront of a bin. Fairly busy platform. Older guy comes past looks at me. Creep. I go up to see if I can find juice. None. I come back down where I was before. He comes and puts something in the bin (I had to move) mumbles something. Me with headphones in double checks with raised eyebrows or half a question. I get a smile and a yeh/nod. Still a creep. He gets on the Upwey train. I don’t.

Connex pulls a hat trick on me and the 6:29 disappears from the screen. So I get annoyed and am ready to sit around ‘being late’ when I hear an announcement and have to move to the other platform where the 6:29 now is.

I get to Essendon on time. Jess C and her friend Jess. Get off. Same carriage but I didn’t notice as I was facing reverse and the seats of trains that side of the city are super high. Jess’s friend is a lot younger. I feel very old. She talks so much you cannot get a word in without interupting.

I see Tracey and Jono and Chels and some of the others as soon as we get there. I knew they might be but this unexpected pleasure filled me up. Its good to see familiar faces when you’ve been ‘estranged’ from them for so long.

Talked with them for a bit. Paul was up the end dealing with powerpoint stuff with Age so figured I wouldn’t bother him. Sat with the Jess’s again. Jess (Rae) and Belle suddenly appear at might right. Jess is shorter than I thought she’d be. Belle is just very short 😛 I like them both immensely, and I’m not just saying that Jess because you read this.

We moved to where there was more room and did the whole ‘how are you finding Melbourne’ thing and whatever conversation that followed.

Service was good. Except for when they kindly played the God of Wonders song. Which screws with my insides and was even worse because Age was ‘leading’ – too many memories of association with it being sung heaps and heaps right around the time all the church stuff errupted. Sometimes you have absolutely no control over feelings that just seem to rise up from your gut. I hate it. It took effort and more than I like to admit to suppress them.

I’ve heard Age’s story quite a few times now. Still parts of it I needed to hear. During the later part it was just really good to realise how good God has been to me this past year.

Spent some time after getting a hamburger/sausage with Jess and Belinda. Some laughing done. It was as comfortable as you can sort of expect a first meeting someone in a ‘strange’ (now less so) place. It was really pretty good. For the record (*cough* Burkie): Jess told me I wasn’t as quiet as she expected, I was actually quite chatty. READ THAT AGAIN. feel free to clarify it with her.

Inside again. Spoke more to J and B and Travis and Paul. Said goodbye about 10:30ish.
Paul kindly drove me all the way home. Was good.

I did not read Jess V’s message properly. Alarm goes at 7:30. I stay in bed as late as I think. I get out of bed. Two minutes later she was there. Did not have time to wake up properly. She was cranky at me. Decided we couldn’t make breakfast at Deakin so stopped at McDonalds. Ran into Nathan (yits). Sat in Macca’s for about an hour talking and catching up with Nathan.

Deakin. Badly signed. Marquees. Various mixups over tours etc which left way too early. Meh to them. Ran into Mark (yits). Got various brouchures/bag etc… Jess was impressed at the no free condoms. She could go down to ‘student life’ and get them there 😉 hah. Ran into Mark again standing next to a bin and systematically going through his Oweek bag pulling out junk and dumping it in the bin.

Signed up for Library tour thingo tomorrow. Went to the Arts Faculty session which was quite good. Then went back to Jess’s detouring via Knox so Jess could figure out work stuff and then VideoEzy to get a no-brainer chick flick that we hadn’t seen. Figured the worst we could do was Wimbeldon, so we got that.

Home.

Tonight I just about hit the roof when Hannah and Em make insistent comments whenever I cook ‘ooh don’t burn it’ etc. etc. etc. Really gets to me.

Thinking about other stuff. God throws one verse at me via partial memory (which I look up later) and one at me through reading something.

Then a conversation with a friend. Had to challenge her on a few things. Responsibility for own life and the balance of advice as a friend is a curious thing. Snapped at someone when they interuppted my ‘busy – please do not interupt’ and had to appologise later.

I am tired. Tomorrow has another early start.

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.
-Jude 1:24-25

“O our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.” – 2 Chronicles 20:12

It’s been quite a while since I’ve put any photos up and I’ve just about given up on throughfive (photoblog as it’s too fiddly using blogger for such things).

Anyway if you can either remember me mentioning various doings or reread some old posts then some of the following photos can roughly illustrate them. Alternatively if you didn’t read or refuse to go back – well a photo tells a thousands words does it not?

Jacqui’s 20th at the Moobar. One of those rare places in a hole of a town that you suddenly discover in it’s total antithesis of bogan’ness.
LtoR: Jacqui, Laura, Melissa, Aydan, Chris, Jasmin, Jess D, Jess W, Natalie, Me, Analise.
Did Yr.12… well Yr.10-12 with this lot and catch up with a few of them frequently and the rest of them occasionally.
Thanks to Sam for taking the photo.

Another thanks to Sam: Jess W, Nat and I.

And in honor of Ana moving up to Wodonga (for uni) the rat bag. I made her sit still while I got a photo. Shall miss running in to her any given Sunday but she’ll be back down for holidays and I got her well and truly hooked on gush before she left (esilana) so contact shall be maintained 😛

Some of the YITS’ers up on top of the tower at Mt. Donabuang. Sam, Emma, Tom and Rowan.

And if this gives any indication of how high it is up there… I’m fairly sure it was Dave running around below.

“That’ll do pig.”