Right… how to start this?
Last night I had a minor epiphany, more the fact that I hit, “Wow, I’d better do something about this” and in effect worked out what ‘some of this was’.
Stop being cryptic! I’ll share a little from some ramblings and attempt to explain myself a little more shallowly (seeing as too many people read this now) than the soul baring of the other night.
“I wonder why I always try and compartmentalise ‘what God is trying to teach me’. Why I limit it to one or two specific things instead of understanding that perhaps he’s working on molding me as a whole…”
From this point I worked my way into explaining to myself that I don’t think what God’s on about with me any more is character formation stuff – it’s moved beyond that. Sure that stuff’s always going to be there, going to be happening but less specifically. From now (current point in time) it’s not the point of looking at who I am in light of who God is, but simply at who he is.
This is not so much the ‘soul baring’ stuff, but it plays into how I am viewing my life at the moment.
To be honest, boredom plays a very very large role in much of everything at the moment. It’s a springboard existance from ‘one look foward to thing’ to the next… a trap that is unfortunately familiar. I’ve talked about the difficulties of me and enthusiasm many times before – this is another facet really.
Life with God shouldn’t be boring.
The past day and a half has been pretty exciting in a way, in that I’ve found this desire that I believe I’ve had actually for quite a long time, but I guess I’ve started acting on it. To really seek out who God is and to maybe take a hold of some of the adventure (almost) that it gives by doing so.
I shall be keeping some of the following in mind:
One thing I ask of the Lord,
This is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
“But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.” – Deut 4:29
“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” – Ps.63:1
“But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, “Let God be exalted!” – Ps. 70:4
“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’” – Acts 17:26-28
“And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.” 1 Chronicles 28:9
Whether much of the above is comprehendable, I’m not sure, but your prayers would be appreciated.