I had to laugh, someone found my blog today while searching for: “Are the Flinders Ranges boring?”

I wound up tracking their search back to the post I wrote post-holidays a few years back. It made for quite an interesting read. I don’t write super-descriptively, intentionally most of the time but I must of been having a plug at it. Some of my writing is really quite interesting and beautiful… anyway, I’ll get off my high horse. If you care to read (it’s quite long) and be amused by what a melancholic soul I was back then then, you’d better make the trek back here.

Thank goodness for change. One thing has not, and it is quite disappointing:

“And in typical Bec fashion, must criticize the curtains for their lack of taste, being old lady flower print. Bad, bad habit, that I should work on breaking, I’m always looking to improve, overly quick to pick a negative – I do it everywhere.”

I shall have to do something about that.

It’s interesting tonight, because here I am with just me. It is such a rare thing. I cooked enough dinner for about four people. I decided later I had way too much food but anyone I asked was busy or both busy and vegetarian. Ha!

Engagement throws you into some kind of whirlpool of anti-introspection. You go from busy to insane. It’s a different way of living and it’s a funny thing trying to work out how to live it when you aren’t even really considering it. I love Geoff to the core and wouldn’t change anything but I do think that I need to now begin to understand growth in different terms.  My introspection has gone bust – spectacularly and beautifully in terms of time.  Selfishness is a fluro blip when there’s another concerned and at times you feel shockingly human. Your growth is more in your doing than in your thinking and in the evidence and through encouragement of another person. I need to let the internal beg continue to take stock and enjoy the moment.