It was interesting, because last night I confessed to Geoff that I really didn’t want to be a part of it and then went on to try and justify that I thought it wasn’t a good idea and ‘how was it really helping the community’/’we could do other things better with this time’. He heard me out – knows me far too well, and told me I was wrong. Then about ten minutes later I worked out that it was really only just about me not wanting to do it and felt guilty so I told him and he let me know he knew that’s what I was all along and rightfully laughed about it. As it was, I did feel bad about not wanting to do it, but I still didn’t want to take part – is there really much point forcing yourself to want to when you simply don’t?
Anyway as it turned out, church today (which was just music and communion before the cleanup during normal sermon time) felt very flat and fake.
And here it is. I enjoyed myself cleaning up. The sun was beautiful, the people were fun and talking and interacting with people they didn’t know so well and doing something. And really it felt a whole lot more like how church should be.
I do like it when God sticks it to me.