I went to bed earlier than I have in about 6 years last night- By 8pm I was well and truly there, by 8:30 or so I think I was out of it. Slept around the clock – 12 good solid hours and woke up with a splitting headache.

I now feel like I’ve found cloud nine, despite all that I have to do today. It could be due to a good breakfast, the knowledge that I don’t have to go into uni today (erm… yes, I’m wagging that one hour), panadol that’s curbed the headache, found some rather nice words in the ‘What I love about you thread‘, or/and the fact that I got a really nice encouraging PM on Gush about something I’d posted, AND I came across something that makes anything I ever do on Gush so unbelieveably worth it:

“Oh, and I think this might be the place to say this, but I don’t know. I do owe Gush A LOT, I think if it wasn’t for Gush I would have thrown the idea of a God out the window long ago… I actually found myself praying today a little.. and realised that Gush is still having a change in me.. so thanks guys”

It’d be true to say that in the past week or so It’s been much more of a task to notice God as much as I used to. I’ve been finding it pretty hard lately to be intentional about spending that time. Despite all this, I keep continually coming across a lot to do with being grateful.

It’s always a strange thing when you realise something has shifted in your relationship with God, usually pertinent to a change in life circumstance. Generally it usually works out better than previously because you have grown in some way, but there’s that unstable point (days, weeks even months sometimes) where there is a good bit of weighing up what is, what should be, what was and how it all works together.

I think sometimes the ‘lazy-mans’ method – or one of my methods at least, of when I don’t feel like it with the God stuff – of reaching that point of acknowledging God for who he is and who I am in light of that is, is to opt for putting on some music. Of which happens to usually be on already. In that way (supposedly my doing – but I think not) something will resonate and I’ll remember.

There’s an article up on Shared Worship about Music, Song and Worship. I guess what interests me a lot about it all is the link of music to joy,

“Song is a subset of music in this same task of expression, and is a great tool also. The use of words, our’s or other people’s, can often bring clarification to us of how we feel and what it is that erupting out of us. Song also brings an added dimension of the ability to give expression to the more “down” side of our feelings. Yet biblically it is clear that it’s closest partner is joy.”

I remember maybe two years ago or so, I had a right old whinge about doing my ‘thinking through song lyrics’. It was a time again like now, with the shift in circumstance/relationship. A conciousnesss of some kind of change, definitely a lot darker blacker point than now but there are some parallels. Looking at it now, it’s not such a bad thing.

I am not a ‘music’ person, but music is a very powerful way to get through to the core of something.

I don’t expect my ‘coming across’ the themes of gratitude and joy to slow, I’m a fair way from grasping the fullness of it. Between Joy and Patience I think I’ve got material enough for a lifetime. Funny really, what comes up considering that everything going on in my life at the moment is definitely worth being thankful for.

It’s a challenge, it’s a never ending struggle to be following and recognising God continually,

“But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, “Let God be exalted!” – Ps. 70:4

I’m not sure where it’s all going. I do know that God is good. I do like how he doesn’t ever stop working in me. I am grateful for the moments like this morning where he uses others to encourage me by pointing out what he is doing. Keeping your eyes open (metaphorically or even normally!) takes work and hurts sometimes, but who would ever give up sight – there is far too much at stake, too much worth not missing.

Christianity General Life Ministry

I’ve just done a very silly thing.

Geoffrey (and I guess I can call him that because I’m pretending to be annoyed at him) managed to get me to ‘fill-in’ as Laura couldn’t make it to youth (leading) tonight.

I had a little too much fun and I’ve gotten the old itch of really liking being where I can serve people in that way.

Yes I technically do already youth lead over on Gush, but this is a little more people tangible. Slightly younger kids too, which reminded me very much of ESA junior camp – without the hanging off my arm and ridiculous chanting songs.

Needless to say (but I like that phrase so I’ll use it anyway).

I can sort of guess what’s going to happen to my Friday nights.

…someone asked me if I was married :S I don’t look that old do I!

General Ministry

This afternoon saw over 20 gushers under a hideous orange banner at Fed Sation with a viking cap for a meetup. Three WA’ers decided to grace us with their presence so the rest of us made it in from Sale, Ballarat, Boronia etc…

I always like adding more names to my ‘tally of who I’ve met’ because frankly I’ve met some pretty interesting characters over the past few years.

As a group we went to Crown (with a trip past the SouthBank fountains, I DID NOT get wet although I think Tony did) and played M9 lasers. Three teams. Mods Won 😀 I came 21st out of 24 (really 23). I was impressed that I wasn’t last, since I had absolutely no method in playing. Burkie put us all to shame.

Aprox. half of us didn’t wish to spend more money on another 15mins (+the free game) so sat upstairs for about an hour, talking and waiting.

Some madness in getting people across the street at Flinders Station – Who knows what they were doing, but I hate disorganisation so it was beginning to really annoy me. We lost the Saleites who had to drive back.

Starbucks. I got Trav onto the good old hot chai latte. Where a bit of good talking generally happened. I wish there’d been more but you can’t have it all.

So who was there? For the record:
Bec (Bee), Tony (Cozmos), Reihnard (Fire|Bird), Sam (Meika), Analise (Esilana), Nathan (Otzi), Burkie (Burkie), Jas ([jas]), John (Auran), Paul (Bobbymac), Katie (katrina), Rohan (merc-blue), Steve (steve), Mark (clammy), Angus (Kangrus), Caitie (Caitie), Jess (Smess), Josh (joshf88), Rod (P4G4), Malcom (malcom), Travis (Trav), Annie (aadvarkgirl), Stew (Specky), Drew (5levelsofdata), Hayley (zombiegirl) and some other guy those last two knew.
Prowdy (Prowdy)… how’d I forget him!

Paul you should’ve been there, but I dare say your afternoon was much more productive without it.

And I’m too tired to bother writing much more. A very good afternoon and evening. I should possibly go and eat some dinner…

General Life Ministry

Just about to head off to bed. It’s before 1am!!!!

No, I have camp tomorrow until Thursday and shall not I think, be getting much sleep.
So this is to let you know I haven’t died, mind you half the people who read this will be seeing me in person anyway.

Gush meeting today.

Train in, I looked out the window just past Croydon. I see this crash scene, guy sprawled on the ground and motorbike. I think he was moving, not really sure. Very messy, glass everywhere. Bad as that was, there was some intense road rage happening about two metres from him. Two guys wrestling/punching and generally fighting eachother, one had a motorbike helmet on there were two vehichles stopped nearby. This was happening all on a rather busy road, cars stopped around the edges. So that disturbed me for a little while.

The meeting however was really good. I met John at Macca’s, recognised him straight away (seeing as he was sitting near the window). Got some lunch, Jas called about 5mins later to see if I’d met him. Found our tram. Found the cafe. And many random gush details I wont disclose. Dylan was a waiter (have met him a couple of times before). So Prowdy, Tij, Paul, John, Burkies and myself there. Was good. Killed time after with Paul and John, getting icecream/iced coffee and walking down nearish the Yarra. Caught the train at 5:50pm.

Had one of those people you think are watching you but aren’t sure, due to sunglasses (ARGH!). I didn’t have a book with me, so just music and zoned out/thought pretty much the whole way home.

Now. Bed before it actually reaches 1am.

More in four days or so. Prayer would be good, really good actually. There will be interesting things playing with my and pretty much everyone’s heads re: leaving and finishing up. Sadness and that.

Proof:
shaddow
see ^ I’m there.

General Ministry On The Train