I am a little bit shocked that it was January 2015 when I last wrote anything. In some ways I have no space to write any more. But then perhaps this is what is necessary – to carve that tiny bit of space, to find mental space again? The no space thing is probably a lie. And yet, the last year has been full full full and sleep deprived. I’m waiting (still) for that to improve. Claire is nearing four, Céleste nearing two. Surely the sleep thing gets better. I know it gets better. I can’t believe I didn’t throw an epic party to beat all parties when Claire improved, I can’t even remember when that happened? It was worth celebrating, I’m waiting Céleste.

I turned 30 this year. I threw a party. I don’t like parties very much but I did like this one. It was at night, there was fairlights and a fire-pit and my music and no kids,  it had a coffee cart and donuts (oh my the donuts from ShortStop are stunning) and it had good people. I like being 30. I actually kind of feel like things are settled and paced (despite the daily madness that I can’t seem to escape). It’s fun seeing what life looks like with two kids even if the balance is an almighty juggle between being a decent parent/human and running my own business and finding space for myself. I suck at the last one.

I do think that I am perhaps on the cusp of working this balance thing out despite the fact I’m not sure we ever actually do, and it’s surprising me writing this down, as I am brain dumping from being sick in bed (which is pretty much the only time I stop). As always there are things in my life that could be cracking along MUCH better but there ARE things that I am doing well. I feel like I write this same thing over and over in my head. Nearly there, nearly there. Keep on, keeping on, such is this phase of life.

Life I want to live you but I want to observe you at the same time… from my bed with a cup of coffee.

General Life Observations

Walking there, the air is heavy with humidity. A girl with a bob and lanky limbs rides her bike after her friend. The great cloud looms,  there is expectancy in the weight of the air. They sit about, beers in stubbies, thongs thrust eagerly forward on complacent feet. Striped awnings flap and there someone tugs on a guy rope for security. Flap, flap. She sits on the edge of the balcony leaning on her knees, phone pressed to her ear watching as three walk past, two prams – trying to put the babies to sleep. A little girl takes off her shoes and complains about her hat, she goes to sit on her tricycle, the handle is around the wrong way. Seagulls line the roof, ruffled by the breeze that is lifting the edges of tents; they are perfecting symmetry. The ocean noise is messed about momentarily by someones radio then it is still. This is an ageless Australia, rain is coming.

Observations Words

In the middle of my mourning
Sits joy like a happy child
In the middle of this death
I must cry with life for a while

And death is great
We are in His keep, laughing and whole
When we feel deep in life
He dares weep, deep in our soul

How great is His concern for us. How high. How good. How deep.

(lyrics from ‘Dresses’ Sixpence None the Richer)

Life Words

“Photography is not good at very many things- it is a poor storyteller if what you want is a didactic or linear narrative. You can read a book for that. Rather, photography is uniquely suited for addressing the ‘ever-passing present moment’ – which really means it’s more akin to poetry. It is good at emphasizing certain notes, tones, elements, and emotions – and lingering on them in time and space long enough to feel awkward, compelled, agitated, soothed, or simply paused… even struck… urged to reconcile with the moment that you are viewing.” – Kurt Simonson

pinched from Lehua Noelle

Photography Words

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
– Terry Pratchett

In Shades of Grey colour is traded. In The Giver colour is discovered.

Black is not a colour – according to some, it is the absence of light. Black is not a colour is bollocks. Black is hexadecimal value #000 it is also the K from the CMY… and Pantone’s Process Black and then there is Rich Black. Black is a colour.

Black is dark.

Black is like grey. There is more to it than meets the eye. Dark shouldn’t always equate to evil nor is it always an opposite.

Black has layers. Like onions. If your onions are black, you should really throw them out.

This post is part of the 100 Theme Challenge

100 Theme Words