It’s difficult to believe that it is still only April.

I asked that God begin to show me little things and have come to realise that we miss a vast number of them conciously or not.
In Creative Living (CL) Warwick was on about the ‘dance’ with the Spirit. Basically keep in tune – in step with God. We watched a short segment in class from (the movie) a Knights Tale. Where it was a 1-2-3 count. Amusing – a bit of a strange idea if you ask me. However, this morning was reading Romans 8:5 “…those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.”
It caught my eye because the word accordance was split and the lower line read: dance with the Spirit.
It also triggered a memory of a few days ago where Emily randomly laughed at the part in a Knights Tale – the 1-2-3 dance segment and I did not think then back to what Warrick said/showed us.

So an example to me of the little things God does – his purpose, his nature – to breach time, own time and have control over it, and the promise and answer of prayer to notice the little things God does.

We miss so much. If only we continually had our eyes open.

General

much of this was a personal reflection to God on some music, on how it triggered memories.

I dont think I’ll post this.

God took me, chose me and let me live.

that sums up the enormity of what I tried to say and still falls far short just like every other time.

General

Saying that… I’d be tter write here what I wrote today. Ah the irony, I just happened to have a writing splurge and do two full pagers.

morning 22/4/05

I’m doing the breakfast thing again. I was wrecked last night, just after work – however that’s a pitiful excuse because I got on the computer and was on until late.
I finished my music ‘week off’. I’m glad I had the determination to go through with it. I nearly stuffed it up but at the last minute refused to take my diskman in my bag to work. The time I thought I’d struggle alot was the trip home. As it turns out Geoff and Age took me to Ringwood station, can’t help wondering God if you were in that.
It was hard. Something I’d not like to do frequently. As jas put it, “I’d go insane” – nearly did. You I guess have to learn to fill your time so that you don’t notice – as much.

My aims fr doing the week off music were: to get some headspace. I think that happened to an extent, my awareness that I think my life through songs – let them do the thinking for me was a big factor in doing this – also the fact that I can use my own brain for praising God.
Thinking/singing songs is a fantastic way to connect with God but certainly not the only way. I got time to do that. And the volume -if you can call it that, of stuff I thought through on the train yesterday was staggering. Seemingly little things but nevertheless important before they become or became big things.
It was hard but worthwhile.

God as I bring or rather come back to ‘normality’ with music and the busyness I self-create – help me to slow down, to use my head and thing things through for myself.

Thankyou for your huge part in that small challenge of self discipline and thankyou for the many little ways that time was used and the things you showed me, did for me in helping make it a little easier.

You are a good God, full of love and full of justice, honesty, power and truth.
Jesus how much more self discipline and patience must it have taken to go through dying for us.
Thank you for the enormity of that sacrifice in comparision to my own which is so small it is laughable. You are a God of self discipline and patience. Let me live with a mirrored patience and never forget to thank you.

General

Have been minorly inspired to be real about this after being given links to other blogs tonight… somewhat more personal ones.

Write what I write in my journal.

No one has to see this unless I let them afterall.
Why be afraid?
How about some honesty.

General

When I got woken up this morning by dad to go to church for Good Friday and hearing that we were going after to the Mellows. I cried. It was utterly unreasonalbe, maybe I was half asleep, maybe I was just annoyed that my ‘study’ plans were stuffed up. I complained but decided to go. Sometimes I don’t understand myself.

Church was okay, I had a sore throat – which has just gotten sorer. I was I guess at a place where I felt I needed you so bad God. Feelings from after ‘the Passion’ were there. Alone and very dependant. Unworthy. Sometimes in my mind I associate or treat myself – God I’m such a pile of nothing, dirt without you. Thoughts of this ran through my head – you (metaphorically) tapped me ont eh shoulder with a firm no. God you chose me – long before I chose you. I wasn’t dirt, I was just dirty. You cleaned me.

I always have mixed feelings about visiting Solmon’s people. I love the Mellows to bits. It’s I guess just hard. Emotionally shredding sometimes.
I can walk right back into their lives and be so completely at ease even if I haven’t seen them for ages.
Who else has a family – many families where you can bum arround w/ 3 guys who are your brothers – but aren’t – have no reservations whatsoever.

I don’t ever I think, get the same ‘safe’ feeling – well to that extent with my Australian (ie: non Solomon) friends.
Awesome God, Thankyou for the amazing reality of my life, my remarkable experiences – I want to say blessings, but that’s a word I don’t like so much – don’t know why.
But they are.

Where would I be without them and all that has happened?
Where would I be without you?
Not dirt, but dirtied – now clean.
You have coloured in my life in such a way that no one else ever could.

Church General Solomon Islands