To be utterly honest. Ah God. Bloody pride. Oh it’s nice to write those words. I think them, don’t say them, now written. See world see. And who cares. I see this, you see this and you know what’s going on in my head anyway. Any of those who have blog link read at my discretion. I write what I want up there. They see what I allow. I’m frustrated.

Stupid church crap. I don’t want to go tomorrow. Read the letter. Not much I hadn’t already picked up.

Proud of dad, that he refused to read what was written about Geoff. And I suck. Because standing in the kitchen all I wanted was to hug him and I didn’t because I don’t.
…hearing him say “I just want to laugh for awhile.” and going to sit infront of stupid funniest home videos.

OK so maybe the stress carries across. Maybe because I’ve got stacks of stuff due and no time. Because I’m at a point where i don’t know what to do about church…. I never signed that membership agreement. Yes that was intentional. Did I know that vague dissatisfaction then? When. To move. I want to move. Even if it wasn’t having all the problems.

And there I was, so cool, calm and collected in my mind. thinking. no. The ‘disatisfaction with your church’ wouldn’t happen to me. YITS thing. They say it happens. and I standing above reason with external eyes. Decided no. Knowing all along that this started long before this year.

God. You know what I need. Time, some miraculous resolution. The ability to not mentally go crazy. A reliance on you.
I hate disunity. How can there not be people to blame. Why wont the world grow up and know you. Care. Work to a common goal. Live for one. That one not being themselves, or a disillustioned worthwhile other. Can’t people stop trying to play heroes and let you be God. There is one faith, one hope, one baptism, one God and Father of all. Pull the plug on people’s shallow mindedness. Take my frustration. Can I call on you as Judge, Father, God? Let me ask for mercy too, because I am no more blameless than any other.

Church General

Not good.

Can’t find my ‘modern creed’ which we wrote in class about a month back, was so sure I had it. Need it for major Doctrine essay: Personal Creed. 2000wrds
So much for having that done before monday. I can’t start.
Rowan did take photocopies.

However…

I have a Practical Evang. essay, and not enough info on the question to even start.

A Doctrine test on Monday.

An Old Testment test on Tuesday.

A group presentation on Wednesday (the only one I am vaguely prepared for). Meeting at Subway $2 breakfast (yes thats right :P) w/ computers and group to finish that off tomorrow morning.

All this needs to be done by Friday.

All up: 2750 words, 2 tests, oral presentation.

Friday afternoon, going on work Conference all weekend. Semester break. 5 beautiful free weeks! One camp.

just to get through this week.

General YITS

Angry. I honestly don’t care so much about the place, or sadly even many of the people. I have been letting slip ties for a while now. Any few that were ever there. Febuary’s mess, resolved although not too gratefully to stick through what I did not fully understand and still don’t. It is the same mess. Escalated and visible.
Angry at the disunity. The crass nature so called Christian’s show. Sad, yes, no. Not in the way many might be. It was time for me to move on. I haven’t yet. Maybe this makes it easier. It doesn’t make it right.

I fail to understand how people can get into their heads the notion that they can bypass time, change. How they think that they can dictate all to suit their prerequisites. Push the ‘other’ out the window and watch smiling as it falls down down down. As long as that other is further from them, they don’t care. They define church as the place and forget the people, forget God maybe.

You can’t buy CD’s tailored to suit your ever chaning mood. Whose call is it to treat church the same way. Each individual stuck onto a background of their ever changing world. Each to their own equals each alone.

Pick and mix doesn’t work. It’s mix and leave the pick to God. Church is not a building, but the people and disunity is the line slashing faint red lines between them.

It is wrong to blame the people. To know there is one placing ideas in their heads. And right to confirm that there is one greater. To whom the purpose returns. And is.

Church General

I want to remember what I saw on the train last night. Because it was remarkable and I doubt I will experience anything quite like it – very frequently. The actual feeling can’t be expressed very well, but there was something different. If I knew how to recreate it I would, over and over.

Simply.
A man and his little boy – who was probably about three got on the train. I would have normally not given them too much attention but after a while I looked up. They were deeply concentrated on eachother, the little boy was. The man was deaf and this wide eyed three year old was talking and signing, completely absorbed in his dad’s face.

What struck me more was when I looked around at the assortment of others who were intrigued by the interaction.
A middle eastern guy standing behind them, above them, an anglo younger guy sitting across the aisle, an asian student, another paint splattered worker an older lady beside/behind them, the young lady to their left, those sitting opposite them, me.

There was no hostile or cold staring environment. Absolute delight written across people’s faces. As if they’d caught this rare moment of light. All watching, unobtrusively.
Aware that others had caught the moment. Not caring. Smiling.

God, our love should be like that. I want to be completely absorbed in you. I want also to be an onlooker in others lives, to experience that joy in their focus on you. Unity in the commonality of something beautiful. Wonder at childlike facination. Saturated in a moment of how things should be.
To love like that. To live like that.

Christianity General Life On The Train

If you have every vaguely wondered about Augustine (for some strange reason)… I did. After I heard the Switchfoot song Something More… yes, Emily laughed at me when I said that so I decided to write my Christian History essay on him, just to find out a bit more. A decision I fractionally regret as it was painfully slow. Consequently I found out rather a lot, namely that he’s a highly complicated kind of person with wacked out ideas, some really good ones and that Cert IV (to play down and incoporate Educational standards in to this one sided conversation) students shouldn’t bother researching him as it requires far too much effort.

So instead of reading a biography three books deep you can just read my essay, but only if you are vaguely interested… (qu. should I post this kind of stuff on the web, or am I opening it for plagarism?? Very aware that although this site is not opensourced… could be found via some buried search engine link. So I guess I’ll just go through and remove various bibliographical details, that will at least make it painful (or is that plagarism on my behalf?). Dont copy work, it’s stealing). 1580words

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Introduction

Aurelius Augustine (354-430) known also as Augustine of Hippo has been aptly named as an ‘early church father’, his ideas and writings have had significant impact on the Christian world. Augustine has been influential both historically and theologically. His books have touched a complete range of doctrinal questions and his ability to provoke has encouraged a greater development of the collective Christian mind.

Augustine Bishop of Hippo
Augustine’s Life

Born in North Africa (354) to a pagan father and a Christian mother, Augustine’s life reflected his upbringing, he had a double-sided nature and felt both a deep sense of sin and a profound sense of God’s grace. (Bull, 1967: 227) Augustine had a mistress and a child by the time he was eighteen, became proficient in rhetoric and moved into academic circles in Milan. While walking alone in a garden, Augustine had a conversion experience, where he heard a child’s voice instructing him to read. Augustine found a Bible on a nearby seat and opened it at Romans 13:13-14. From this point on in his life, Augustine has provided answers to the world. His philosophy has played a major role in the foundations of Christendom. (Shelly, 1995: 125)

A chief influence in Augustine’s life was Bishop Ambrose. From Ambrose, Augustine discovered that Christianity could be both eloquent and intelligent (Shelly, 1995: 126) After a reluctant ordination as a priest and his return to North Africa, Augustine was selected by Bishop Valerius as an assistant. Augustine became his successor as the Bishop of Hippo until his death on the 28th August 430.

Two Kingdoms

As the Bishop of Hippo, Augustine had great exposure to both church and state issues. His philosophical formation of ideas about two kingdoms led him to write ‘The City of God’ which has been called a “philosophy of human history” (Bull, 1967: 232) Augustine did not despise Rome or the ‘earthly city’, and declared that both the church and state should serve God. Although never stated explicitly, Augustine implied the identification of the city of God with the church, and the city of the world with the state; this was critiqued by Reinhold Niebur for “assuming that the church as an historical institution can never become a vehicle of evil and never really stands under the judgment of God.” (Bloesch, 1978: 136)

In regards to Augustine’s significance, a theory has been put forward that the practical nature of Augustine’s writings is due to his historical era mirroring our own. Augustine supplied answers for those in his own time, an explanation for the destruction of Rome providing hope to those around him. His response to “the moral and theological concerns of a world racked by pillage and destruction, random and chaotic violence… attempts to answer the question of innocent suffering”. (McPherson, 2000) this question is just as relevant today, and authors and theologians go back to his work to gain perspective and insight.

Sin and Salvation

Just as suffering was a common theme in the lives of those in the 400’s so was sin. Augustine’s struggles with sin were mostly that of relating to sex and women. He had a profound self-awareness that this was his downfall, books such as, Confessions and The City of God carried a negative approach to both sexuality and women, this, “was passed on to generations of Christians, making them uneasy about what Augustine called their ‘lower appetites’.” (Guthridge, 1999: 51) Many copies of Augustine’s books have had their anti-feministic parts edited from them, although examples still exist such as, ““What is the difference – [Augustine] wrote to a friend – whether it is in a wife or a mother, it is still Eve the temptress that we must beware of in any woman” (Guthridge, 1999: 51). This legacy has tainted many of Augustine’s works although they are far outweighed by the many documented scriptually based insights.

The deep sense of sin felt by Augustine was contradicted harshly by Pelagius a British monk. Their views differed greatly in that Pelagius saw sin as a bad example set by Adam, and Augustine defined sin being an instinctive nature, human’s being powerless to their will and that “God’s grace must come first in living the good life, as well as in assisting it.” (Bull, 1967: 234) Augustine rejected the idea that, “God created evil as a full-fledged malignant principle. The human person, from free will, commits a sin and partakes of that death we name evil.” (Elshtain, 1998) Augustine’s view of human imperfections in dictating our motivations opposed the monastic structures of the time and Anti-Pelagian literature was penned to condemn the current perspective of sin and the implications for predestination. Today’s doctrine of sin has found its origin within Augustine’s principles, although many Christians have had difficulty accepting his position of complete human helplessness.

Augustine’s emphasis is on salvation through grace however he also places extreme significance on the sacraments. Baptism is a regeneration of grace (Shelly, 1995: 130) and both faith and baptism are necessary for salvation (Bloesch, 1978: 214). From this stems Augustine’s concern for unbaptised infants. This disquiet is expressed in many of today’s denominations and their conviction of infantile baptism.

Historical Influence

Augustine believed in eternal torment for any who chose to reject Christ. Well-known Reformers with similar views have solidified his perception of Heaven and Hell. E.g. Martin Luther held a similar position on “heaven and hell as the outcome of divine foreordination.” (Bloesch, 1978: 215)

Throughout history, renowned individuals have used and recommended Augustine’s work. Names such as Alcuin from the court of Charlemagne advised the use his book, De Catechizandis Rudibus ‘On Catching the Uninstructed’ in aid of evangelism. Others such as Martin of Braga and Primin drew on Augustine’s work for insight into the Christian life. (Fletcher, 1998: 222, 235)

Mission

Augustine’s book Confessions has been described as; ‘the greatest work of spiritual autobiography ever written’ (Fletcher, 1998: 28) from this, and other works, a theology of mission can be constructed. His firm conviction that the end of the world was near drove him to formulate his ideas of citizenship in heaven, Augustine recites, ‘so long as he is in this mortal body, he is a peregrinus (stranger/exile/pilgrim) in a foreign land’ (Fletcher, 1998: 30) and led him to write eschatological books such as, De Fine Saeculi (On the End of the World).

Despite confirming the urgency of preaching the gospel to the world, Augustine misconstrue or rather did not follow through the logical nature of Romans 10:14-15. This misunderstanding can be defined by Augustine’s younger contemporary – Prosper of Aquitaine as, divine grace alone can bring about conversion and if humans set about on mission we are interfering with its workings. (Fletcher, 1998: 32) Augustine stressed that we must believe before we can understand.

Divine grace is irresistible and the issue between free will and determinism will continually in Christian circles be a point of dissent. (Bull, 1967: 235) Augustine’s emphasis upon divine grace may have clouded his view upon mission. However, this ‘clouded view’ in light of the modern church’s implications on mission across the world served a purpose in elaborating Augustine’s position as not only the Father of the church in the west, but also as a significant influence on the East. The interest of the eastern Church was the nature of God, the divinity of Jesus and the escape of the soul to God, where in the west it was the nature of man and God’s work in man through grace. (Bull, 1967: 233).

War and Peace

As a bishop in a time of many church divisions, Augustine was confronted with the Donatist controversy. His rejection of Donatist theologies of a ‘pure church’ and his support for the Catholic Church presented him with the concern of the use of force in a religious situation. (Shelly, 1995: 128) Augustine’s views on war have shaped and led to the justification of many leadership concerns in the Christian world. Augustine established that although war is neither desirable nor advised, if it is the means by which to ensure peace it is permissible, however, “War is and must remain a cautionary tale, not an incautious and reckless call to arms. For peace is a great good…nothing better can be found.” (Elshtain, 1998)

Conclusion

The hundreds of theories and theological ideas that Augustine has offered to the world have presented him as one of the greatest theologians of all time. His books are both doctrinal and devotional; they explore the nature of God, morals, human ethics, sin, grace and history. (McPherson, 2000) His arguments are Biblically based and formed; the volume and variety of works is enormous. Augustine has left a profound legacy to the world.

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…Incase you were wondering, this research did not help me one bit in relating Augustine’s life to the Switchfoot song – I should probably go back and listen to it again, however I did get a fairly good mark. 🙂

Christianity General YITS