Stonelea conference centre place sent me a bottle of wine care of work today. I was rather amused, not being a huge wine fan.

The better/more strange/interesting suggestions:

Chris: sell it on ebay (I like this one :P)

Burkie: drink it! go get drunk 😛 (maybe not)

Dad: Give it to me and mum for driving with you to the station all the time.

Jess: save it til you get married (???!) it will be more mature then. roight….

Dave: give it to rowan…he’s lutheran 😀

…or mums birthday present which I never really got anything for.

mmm. oh well.

/bored person posting late at night.


“This is my lover, this is my friend,” – Song of Songs 5:16

I decided tonight to do things a little differently. To look at God’s love for me instead of wallowing in problems or immediate life stuff. To look at God’s love for me and my very fallible love for God. I don’t know how well it went, well I do I supose. I picked/played certain music – I have been doing the silence thing lately… when it comes to journal/God time (which is probably better). I read various stuff, it was good.

It did lead me to think about other relationships. Applying Song of Songs to God/yourslef is rather strange. I’m a bit unsure on the concept of God as a lover – maybe for where I am at the moment it’s more God as father/friend. Not exclusively so.

I think our God relationship does evolve and change with time and different experiences, we change. Also changing with intention, spending time, communication.
Friendships with people change in the same way. Oh they may not (and most do not) proceed into ‘relationships’ but there either gathers this moment in ‘safety’ in eachother (not so safe as to never challenge) or it slips and is gone. Some we hold carefully, and others carefully away from us. We in our attitudes and actions stand in the way. We are afraid of unfamiliar territory in someone ‘finding’ us, afraid of betrayal, afraid of love lost.

How much I want, I guess we all want, to be connected mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically with another. God as a lover? A perfect relationship.

It’s frustrating how feelings get in the way. You want to ‘feel’ love for God, ‘feel’ love from him and it’ sort of only part of the love picture.

Knowing how someone thinks just because you’ve been around them a lot – there is something more there when that is present.
– To think like God thinks.

To be comfortable in silence, to enjoy talking to eachother. This is the safety of friendship, of love.
– To be comfortable with God’s silence (but still truthful, frustrated if need be), to be actively listening to him.

To explore life with another. Experience moves you closer.
– To remember and involve God in the everyday.

And touch. This is where it seems to fall kind of flat…

Christ is in each of us.

I was going to say, so kindness to others, finding ‘touch’ in others blah blah blah.

but that’s sort of it. Christ is in us and around us.

To cry, be honest with someone – the knowing.
– To be honest and vulnerable with God.

*random thoughts

Emotional ties.
Friendship – sharing life.
But with God there is no chance of betryal.
No fear
No fear in love
God is love.
How easy it is to forget
How difficult to act on it.
God is love. It is his very nature.
And human desires, wants, relationships are relevant. Love is love regardless of the context, if it is genuine (whatever genuine is).
God has the upperhand on us. He created the concept after all, he embodies it and is the concept.

Pursue love.


Well there’s another one.

I find out tonight, that Peta is engaged (this is my best friend from year 8, whom I have kept up with on and off).

Today in a nutshell:

-Lifeskills class, event management (of which I haven’t really mentioned much yet) is beginning to be a bit of a pain.
-Relieved of CAF duties (HOORAY) no dishes for Bec.
-Group Focus Lament Service, interesting, not in the right frame of mind for it. Had nice alone time after though, on a swing outside in the cold 🙂
-Chat with Elyce. Good stuff, talked life, she wanted to talk to me about beach missions stuff/interest… individually before she does group ask (???)
-Dinner. Jess pulled me aside and we talked about last night, sorted some stuff out. I pretty much clarified the misunderstanding, and we hopefully both ‘got’ where eachother was coming from. Apologised for a probably unnecesary comment over the phone. Conclusion, we are vastly different. We already knew this.
-Youth Min. Fairly good. Nothing gobsmackingly brilliant compared to previous weeks.

and that’s about it.
/boring post