Certain someones will be pleased to know I converted to Firefox today.
for those certain others who dont have a clue what I’m on about: www.getfirefox.com

Off to a trivia night tonight.
At L. Baptist. It’s raising money for shipping containers to go to the Solomons. A worthy cause 🙂
We have a table with the Wingers… they would be the people with the most wonderful kids to babysit (no I’m not being sarcastic). Katrina, Ben and Kelly.
We’ll see how it goes. I have nothing better to do tonight, so may as well. (Avoids thinking homework)

Here’s to a boring blog post about the mundanes of what’s going on. (take that burkie’s RSS!)

So I’ve wasted copious amounts of time not doing a whole lot today.

I should probably get more imaginitive over what to put in here.

This is what my ‘Critical Incidents Timeline’ looks like so far,

In context ‘critical’ is defined as: “They are not ‘critical’ because they are mind-blowingly huge, they are critical because they have made you who you are today.”

things such as: events, people, circumstances.

I could have classified them with my own key/colour code but I’ve opted for the easier use what was given which means:

Positive – discovering something as a skill, gift, talent or just a genuinely enjoyable time of life
Neutral – made this category myself as I need one for an inbetween, both good and bad
Negative – complex life circumstances, difficult or painful incident
Life Crisis – acute moments of difficulty
Divine Contact – a key person at a crucial moment or stage of life, or an important person during a part of your journey. NB: if you aren’t in here don’t get all crushed or whatever, this is a condensed list to many extents, you are either there in my head, or are too new to make it in :), hey, if you have this blog link I think you are pretty !!!
Faith Challenge – crossroads or important descision in your faith journey
Divine Guidance – moment/period of clarity relating to the future

How you can help: I have to pick 5 of the below to write on in more depth, I have a pretty good idea of which ones, but if you are particularly interested (or even half interested) in specifics, leave a comment or something and I’ll (maybe) do that.

——

PNG – chicken
First pet obsession
Experience of having something taken from me/death

Boys and Girls Teams
A SITAG thing
Great fun
Challenge/contest
Friendships

Conversation with Kristy
An adult challenge about treating siblings/others with respect
Cried because I was so angry/humiliated
Looking back, I value her honesty, her input into my life

Auki Town
Mixture of life experience
Getting to know God
Initial melancholic ponderings
Fun/enjoyment
Relationship building with sisters

Cathie Calder
Experience but not really understanding of a tragedy/death
Inspired by her life
Jack’s Villiage/River
Fun
Cultural differences

Dressups/Claire Andrews
Friendship
Conflict
Enjoyment
Always playing the boy etc…
Running from Corrie and Hannah
Imagination
Annoyance at them wanting me to join Bible club

Trip to Naffinua/ Truck/Waterfall – Hannah
Fun
Cloud watching in the back of truck with Linda Batcock
Adventure
Hannah nearly drowning, me acting on that, loving her more perhaps

Bike – ride
Angry response
Independence taste
Taste of guilt
Running away doesn’t solve problems even if it was just leaving the house for an afternoon

Codes/Clubs
Friendship
Secrecy
Communication

Homeschooling
Self discipline
Writing/recording
Initiative/dreaming up stuff
Learn a lot about life/history/science/English etc…

Auki (bird)
Enjoyment
Trust in God
Grief/anguish

Drawing/decision
Persistence
Recognition of talent
Belief in self

Conferences
Community
Fun

Anazac Service SI
Challenge
Peace
To look back on

Break In
Fear
Secrecy
Hiding
False strength
Anger/Forgiveness
Shaken deeply

ICLARM / crabs / muffin / Johan
Horse riding
Community
Holidays
Death of pet
Anger at God/Frustration
Shame at not being very sad when Opa died
Sense of protection/Johan bashed up, woman raped in militant attack the day after we left
Loss of not being able to return

Kangaroo Ground
Furlough
Drawing
God

Northside Christian College- bus ride
Confusion
Discontent
Awareness
Culture reorientation
Displacement

Mrs. Fishwick
English/Media teacher
Year 8 – 2000
Encouragement – evening car trips
Writing
Developing of leadership
Year book

Peta Marsh
Friend
Fight/Conflict
Answered Prayer

Adiminiby
Holiday
Annoyance
Community
Time to think
‘knowing’ that something was going to happen, asking God that if it had to, let it be me. It was.
Physical pain

SITAG
Community
Love
Leadership
Relationship building/people interaction
Freedom to be myself
Life experience, living for each day – full enjoyment
Family/extended
Living behind fences/bars/alarms with dogs – restriction

Kira
Dog/friend
Responsibility

Emily Mudge
Close friendship
Individual bond
Experience where stuck at her place due to roadblock/attack/police escort – praying with her and her mum about that. fear/trust/adventure

Cliffside
Community
Relationship
Feeling alive
Creativity

Bibleway/SSEC
Church
Cultural differences
Games Nights
Community
Friendship/bonding
Fun/enjoyment/laughter

Bonegi Beach
Enjoyment
Wonder
Community/Friendship

Meatpie/Carters
Friendship
Kindness
Family

Photos/DECV
Self discipline
Creativity
Expression/enjoyment
Photography
Escape

ERC Cardgames
Friendship
Competitiveness
Fun

Trip out to SWIM – mountains
Future thinking
God
What’s the plan for my life?

International Fellowship
Community
God/developing relationship with Him
Fun/Fellowship/Meals
Increasingly difficult in knowing I’d have to leave
Sense of loneliness

Telstra man Robbery
Intense anger – ‘red hot anger’
Fear
Confrontation
Strength
Calling to God

Basketball
Community
Relationships
Challenge
Developing skills

Big Robbery (sleepover at Kristen’s)
Once removed from incident that deeply impacted family and plans
Chain reaction sped up for leaving SI
Annoyance at counseling I didn’t want/need to go to

Bathroom/Birds/God
Despair
Loneliness
Anger
Crying out to God
Hearing from God
Symbols/continued reliance on God/him revealing himself

That Tree
Attempt to find something concrete
Realisation/sadness of the almost shallowness
Sadness when it was cut
Anger at change

SWIM camp
Friendship/Relationships/Community
Loneliness of leaving
Clawing at every moment
Fun/learning
God
Sadness
Physical pain
Emotional pain

Christmas Eve/s
Tradition
Clinging to ‘non change’
Enjoyment
Sadness

Leaving The Solomons
Anger
Grief
Loss/hurt
Pain
Emotional ripping
Frustration
God
Visiting every last place
Looking back
Hating change
No control over circumstance

Australia/2nd Christmas
Grief
Feeling of being cheated
Destruction of what was once enjoyable
Missing/loneliness
The shallowness of western culture

MECS
New situation
Risk
Friendship
Striving for personal/academic goals
Culture reorientation

WPC youth camp
Community
God
Confusion
Work Experience
Fear
Anger
Needing God
A testing

Great Ocean Rd Holiday
God
Not understanding what’s next
Loneliness
Writing 2004
Filling a void
Fear and overcoming it
Self understanding

Adanac – Vashti/Evelyn/David
Confusion
New Beginnings
New Years Eve with Vash
God God God
Friendship
Loneliness
Challenging

Mish
Reliance on God
Advice giving
Friendship building that extended beyond the context

Zaul
Challenge
Despair
God
Hope

GUSH
Responsibility
Challenge
Involvement in something that ‘needs me’
God
Reshaping of self
Enjoyment
Friendship

Mellows
Difficulty
Memories
Longing for what was
Friendship

Yr 12 English
A chance to excel
Encouragement
Writing

Burkie
Friendship
2 way advice
Acceptance
Humor

Monica
Fear
Being overwhelmed
Love
Taking advice
Pressure
Responsibility

Paul T
Challenging
Friendship
2 way advice
In ‘my face’

Year In the Son
Struggle with if it was the right thing to do
Loneliness
Relationship
Community
Learning
God God God
Experience
Acceptance
A distant but returned feeling of being comfortable enough to be myself

Blogging
Self challenge
Self awareness
Vulnerabilty
God

WPC split
Frustration
Sadness
Apathy

Tookgarook Holiday
God – faith?
Confusion
Loneliness

Midyear YITS camp
Experience
Love
God
Community
Vulnerability
Encouragement

Productive day today. I slept in until 11:40am. I guess I’d normally think half the day was wasted but it was worth the catch up on sleep due to the somewhat shocking time I stayed up, but that was worth it. Got various reading done.

Took Job (the dog) out for a walk. I went the longer way – I think I actually like it better. Spent some of it running – a rare occurence which I actually really enjoy. I haven’t run for a long time. Should do it more often.

I made progress on my ‘Critical Incidents Timeline’. I have yet to write about 5 or so particularly key events that have ‘shaped me’. I don’t think it will be too difficult. I was working quickly and well then memories and stuff bogged me down, it was quite hard to go back over some of it. I haven’t really allowed myself yet to revisit those incidents, not today. It will happen. It probably needs to. A specific time for remembering.
I have a good idea I’ve left lots out. Life is full.

Paid Centrelink a visit. Had a very long wait followed by another very long wait. Then had my annoyance utterly squashed by the most helpful person in that office. I should now have my Youth Allowance back without having to report every two weeks, and I get reimbursed. Wonderful! They should employ more Sharons.

Why has sponsoring a kid come up a few times lately?

I started reading: The Sacred Romance (A God book 🙂 so you know I’m not reading complete crap.) My head wasn’t coping too well and I don’t think that I really took too much in.
A question I have had well before I started it is that,

How appropriate is it to see God as a ‘lover’ or whatever? Even as a friend? How do you keep the honor and glory of God, the just ruler/king/Lord aspect inline/cohabitating with a deeper understanding. Should/can we feel love for God or do we just think it? Difficult to explain.

God help me to I guess grasp/understand a bit more. How does your love and even our love manifest itself? Yes God you, “loved the world that you gave your only son”. I don’t always really ‘get’ it. Oh I like presents and gifts, but thats not how I am best loved/give love.

….(lots of thinkings here)

You gave your son as a gift,
left the Holy Spirit as a ‘comforter’ – timeless, always with us.
Your word as written and spoken when we take the time to listen,
your touch in others and their encouragement
and you served us through Jesus, through our friends, our family

God you are love in all shapes and forms….

Redefine my understanding of love. I don’t have a clue.

To do things a little differently, I’m not where I usually sit. I shoved the computer out of the way. Am at the desk. I don’t know if there was anything facinating about today. The most interesting the train got was the squally toddler which was more frustrating than anything.

I spent the day tackling Mambo (open source) yet again, the hideous CMS which would be quite good if it was easy to set up. The upgrade took almost half a day due to FTP scrounging, permissions problems (why can’t they all auto 777?) and numerous database hissy fits. (and I hate that saying, why did I just write it?) Anyway, despite getting close to hurting something, it was an interesting challenge and I am about 50x closer to ‘getting’ stuff.
Code annoys me. I know just enough to bluff my way around, and get helpful friends to ‘save’ me when I get stuck. Snooky’s a great help too. The RO site is finally beyond an ‘under construction’ site, not very far, but yeah. Hooray for those who keep me sane by a random hello. I like my work but I am glad it’s only oen day this week. Early mornings are painful. That saying, I managed to last on two cups of tea before I had to hit the coffee about 4:00. Maybe I shouldn’t stay up so late.

Closer to the heart of God.
I don’t know where to start on this God, which is probably actually the point. To let you do the work. Help me to sit back Abba and watch and enjoy you.

I told Laura about Monica today. She didn’t know. We were shopping. Oddly reminiscent of when I told mum. I think she was pretty shocked. I’ve had almost what, 8 months to supposedly ‘deal’ with it. I was looking for a present for her. It was strange. In reality I hardly know this girl. I don’t know what I think about it all really. The guy is under constant supervision (prison I think) and will get 30years or more. Mon and N weren’t the only ones who had stuff happen. I can’t understand. I hope never to be able to. What’s life going to look like for them now? I sit here my 19 year old somewhat alone self and the responsibilities I imagine as huge – maybe I exaggerate… but I have enough trouble trying to deal with myself let alone another human being. I can feel both ready and very unready for (a) relationship/s – and she’s been chucked into motherhood at 18.

Our experiences shape us – others seem to have just as large a part.

Where am I now in comparison to where I was a year ago? The photos show outward change, not where it’s been drastic. How I react has changed. How I think has changed. How I see God has changed. How I see myself has changed.
This is good.
But this is also hard.
Worth every moment.

Psalm 26.

“And you can rest with me a while, you can talk to me, never mind how long it has been because you’ll figure it out, all it takes is time to find what you’re about.” J. Pacquette

how true is that?

In reality I find it very difficult to spend time talking to Monica. I know she needs the friendship, but I struggle every time. I hate talking to her sometimes. I dont’ know really why I was among or was the first to know. Why the ‘plight of a stranger’ even concerns me.

Messaged Jess.

Were going for afternoon tea on Sunday.
A chance to talk.

(time is irrelevant to this post, it was August the 4th)