Well I said I’d come back.
Hmm.. how to convert this from journal to blog?
I guess I’ll just launch into it.

The return trip from Adelaide, we went through Baccus Marsh – a remembering point for me (or the one). It was strange coming into it. Passing throught he cutting on the way out is where. I wasn’t sure how I’d react internally.

Nothing really. Surprisingly. I had somewhat suspected to feel more strongly about stuff. Maybe Australia is home now? Or I have grown into myself (what guff) and recognised things for what they actually are. Who knows.

New Testament today, covered Galatians. I always seem to get a prod when legalism (although not specifically named) is talked about.
I guess I do struggle accepting God’s grace for what it is sometimes. It’s generally a – how can I love God back > ‘a payment’ almost. Which is of course, not necessary. I feel the need to do, do and challenge myself more and more.
When God simply is. With no input from me.
I can’t do anything to earn grace. That price has already been paid. I know it yes. I don’t think that I always live up to it veyr well.

Matt took us through a Lecto Divina thing on a passage in Luke (Jesus staying back in the temple as a boy). A phrase that stuck out to me: had to be in my Fathers house, not wanted, not was – had to.

I got thinking a little later how this holidays, mabye before that even, I kind of rely on YITS or say a conversation for that ‘God hit’. Spending time with God involunarily has been slipping, as it never ‘quite fees the same’ or something. I keep looking elsewhere (like Jesus’ parents) and not finding what I’m after.

I do depend/need time with God. I feels shocking without – bland, boring, wrong. I guess that it needs to become a ‘have to’ and less of a ‘feel like it and then want to’. I need it. It hasn’t been that way lately.

I’m a bit disgusted at myself for actuallly talking/encouraging someone about spending more time with God when I’m failing quite adeptly.

First day back (YITS). Was brilliant to see them all.

Observations of people:
Tom: looked stuffed (but kind of sick methinks)- I believe his mind was elsewhere half the day.
Dave: entirely flustered over fundraising etc. for events. Aside from that. He encouraged me by talking about symbols (re: something I posted on gush) and other such ‘good stuff in his life atm’.
Katie: has this beautiful knack of laughing at you but not so you feel small 😛 Michael said something to/about me which I didn’t quite fully catch. From her laughing (quitely to herself) I did however get the general gist (what to make of it?). ho hum.
Jo: I hardly got to talk to her. Must do that tomorrow.
Alecia: I missed meeting Christian, I also cant remember if I gave her the blog link or not. She should have it.
Kym: gave me a hello hugh (dont hang round her that much :)) – lucky girl went to Switchfoot concert, “close enought to spit on them”.
Kerryn: she’s so funny, she’s quite mad. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone so delighted at how God works. I love that. It often makes people step back, mind you, she’s is sometimes a little embarassing.
Jess W: “I missed you!” so says she on the phone the other night. She didn’t seem entirely herself today. She’s a funny girl, calls me up to solve her problems, I say a little bit of stuff, and listen a lot as she talks it out. Then she’s “you’re very good” (in true Charlie and Chocolate factory style) “you solved it!” – when in truth she solves it herself by talking it out.
Sam: you were a bit preoccupied with something?

I’m minorly freaked about 3min speech tomorrow: ‘what has yits meant for you?’
mind over matter.
psyching up to do. blahness
get a grip Rebecca perhaps?

goodnight world!


“But let’s get to the nitty gritty, would these women give up a pair of shoes for the latest shiny gadget?”- The Age


(what a stupid article)

Who’d want a robot dog anyway…


Blogger down yesterday night – hence nothing.

Just got home, I am the only one here. Not a clue where the rest are.
I should be walking Job. Actually I think I’ll do that now, will give me time to think….


6:18 now.

So much for thinking. If I did think, it just completely wiped from my brain.
I walked Job, left just as the others got in from their respective wherevers. Got home and wrote a card and some money to go thank Joan (across the road) and her kids for feeding and walking the dog.

The kids weren’t there – staying with their dad. Joan let me in, a standard, “Sorry the house is such a mess” comment (that a lot of women seem to use – or mums at least). I did the “Don’t worry about it” before I really looked around. To describe it, you could say, ‘a perfectionist’s nightmare’, but that’s too harsh. I like Joan. I wouldn’t pick her as a messy person. It was pretty bad.

I’ve always wondered why her curtains are always kepts shut. Now I sort of know why. She isn’t the worlds best off person – It’s not fair to say that was reflected, nor true. Just a different standard of living contrary to what I’m used to, we aren’t the best off. It is rude to speculate, unkind to judge. I guess I was just kind of shocked. I feel so – callous for reacting how I have, in feeling this way. I would go absolutely mad if I had to live like that.

What can you (I) do about it without intruding?
Should you even do anything about it? Is it right to?
Is it just about money or what?

blergh :S

Have to go eat now. More of what I was going to say later.