Month: <span>October 2005</span>

This has been stuck in my head all day ever since Shannon started playing it early this morning. Sort of suits my mood. I like the song, but it has the potential to become one that you get VERY tired of. I honestly can’t stand the ‘Beautiful dawn’ aspect (how it starts), but the um, I guess you’d call it ‘chorus’ (haha – so sadly oldschool) is rather um (erm lets use the word appealing again). Hence why I get home and download it (yeh legally) and keep hitting the play button – it’s frustrating me, but strangely addictive. ahha I sound like such a freak.
And no, I’m not in a soppy romantic mood and yes I am using brackets too much.

Beautiful dawn – lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I’d rather wake up and see (with you).
Beautiful dawn – I’m just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.
But now I’m high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe you remember me.

Beautiful dawn – melt with the stars again.
Do you remember the day when my journey began?
Will you remember the end (of time)?
Beautiful dawn – You’re just blowing my mind again.
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.
High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe you remember me.

Will you be my shoulder when I’m grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe you remember me.

I managed to bump into Jess (D) and Jordy (Her friend from tafe) this morning on the train. I was rather surprised as they aren’t usually that early. Jordy was infront of me all the way from Lilydale and I didn’t realise (I have met her before). I was in blissful oblivion perhaps?

Insanely happy this morning – I don’t know why, maybe something to do with yesterday. I was a little reluctant to leave it (this rare euphoria) to talk to them. But seeing Jess was great, had a good talk – as much of one as you can have on a train anyway.

And the strangeness, I get on the train this afternoon and who should appear but Jess and Jordy again. What are the chances of that?!

Another double of the day:

Washed my hair twice in a row this evening. I do it occasionally. I entirely forget (yeh my mind goes even more haywire in strange places like the shower) until I dump the shampoo out. Or I am there doing the ‘Have I, haven’t I?” and usually give up and just do/redo it. I have a terrible memory for some things. Entirely blank.

Anyway.

Worked. Very receptionist type stuff, filing, photocopying, coffee, phones.

I also found out I probably wont have a job there next year, due to Mel coming on full time (we semi jobshare).
I don’t mind too much.
MBO has been a wonderful place to work, I scored a jackpot in it being a ‘first job’.
I confess wont mind the better pay and less travel time I can hopefully find elsewhere.

Dad mentioned that school has a job opening shortly (ie: applications) for a ‘graphics person’ to do newsletters (that really aren’t too bad) and other such things like school magazine. (Hey, guess who did the last one?! – mind you that was just Yr.12) They know me, and I have a very good foot in the door already. It’s 3mins drive from home. I know the people. I like the place (yeah sort of :P). Plenty of creative licence. The idea of it is VERY appealing.

The problem: 2 full days a week (maybe negoitable), and not knowing what’s happening with uni timetabling etc… yet – I don’t have much to go on regarding that.
I’d also have to contest with those with maybe more training than me applying for the job although, that’s less of a problem methinks.

Anyway. We shall see. I’d probably better pray about it. (maybe you could too 🙂

I really don’t want another ‘phoneish’ job. MBO is fairly light on that, but zero in the phone department would be like a ladder down from being stuck on a roof for me.

More later maybe.

If Jane could read this, I’d want her to know, that she did the best thing anyone could have ever done for me today.
The fact that I didn’t ask for it, or say a word and she somehow read my mind, or facial/body language astounds me.
God was in that.

Well I said I’d come back.
Hmm.. how to convert this from journal to blog?
I guess I’ll just launch into it.

The return trip from Adelaide, we went through Baccus Marsh – a remembering point for me (or the one). It was strange coming into it. Passing throught he cutting on the way out is where. I wasn’t sure how I’d react internally.

Nothing really. Surprisingly. I had somewhat suspected to feel more strongly about stuff. Maybe Australia is home now? Or I have grown into myself (what guff) and recognised things for what they actually are. Who knows.

New Testament today, covered Galatians. I always seem to get a prod when legalism (although not specifically named) is talked about.
I guess I do struggle accepting God’s grace for what it is sometimes. It’s generally a – how can I love God back > ‘a payment’ almost. Which is of course, not necessary. I feel the need to do, do and challenge myself more and more.
When God simply is. With no input from me.
I can’t do anything to earn grace. That price has already been paid. I know it yes. I don’t think that I always live up to it veyr well.

Matt took us through a Lecto Divina thing on a passage in Luke (Jesus staying back in the temple as a boy). A phrase that stuck out to me: had to be in my Fathers house, not wanted, not was – had to.

I got thinking a little later how this holidays, mabye before that even, I kind of rely on YITS or say a conversation for that ‘God hit’. Spending time with God involunarily has been slipping, as it never ‘quite fees the same’ or something. I keep looking elsewhere (like Jesus’ parents) and not finding what I’m after.

I do depend/need time with God. I feels shocking without – bland, boring, wrong. I guess that it needs to become a ‘have to’ and less of a ‘feel like it and then want to’. I need it. It hasn’t been that way lately.

I’m a bit disgusted at myself for actuallly talking/encouraging someone about spending more time with God when I’m failing quite adeptly.

First day back (YITS). Was brilliant to see them all.

Observations of people:
Tom: looked stuffed (but kind of sick methinks)- I believe his mind was elsewhere half the day.
Dave: entirely flustered over fundraising etc. for events. Aside from that. He encouraged me by talking about symbols (re: something I posted on gush) and other such ‘good stuff in his life atm’.
Katie: has this beautiful knack of laughing at you but not so you feel small 😛 Michael said something to/about me which I didn’t quite fully catch. From her laughing (quitely to herself) I did however get the general gist (what to make of it?). ho hum.
Jo: I hardly got to talk to her. Must do that tomorrow.
Alecia: I missed meeting Christian, I also cant remember if I gave her the blog link or not. She should have it.
Kym: gave me a hello hugh (dont hang round her that much :)) – lucky girl went to Switchfoot concert, “close enought to spit on them”.
Kerryn: she’s so funny, she’s quite mad. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone so delighted at how God works. I love that. It often makes people step back, mind you, she’s is sometimes a little embarassing.
Jess W: “I missed you!” so says she on the phone the other night. She didn’t seem entirely herself today. She’s a funny girl, calls me up to solve her problems, I say a little bit of stuff, and listen a lot as she talks it out. Then she’s “you’re very good” (in true Charlie and Chocolate factory style) “you solved it!” – when in truth she solves it herself by talking it out.
Sam: you were a bit preoccupied with something?

I’m minorly freaked about 3min speech tomorrow: ‘what has yits meant for you?’
mind over matter.
psyching up to do. blahness
get a grip Rebecca perhaps?

goodnight world!

“But let’s get to the nitty gritty, would these women give up a pair of shoes for the latest shiny gadget?”- The Age

YES YES YES!

(what a stupid article)

Who’d want a robot dog anyway…