I’ve been listening to a song by Frou Frou (who I have no clue who he/she/it is, but heard off a sound track). There is a line or two that says the following:

Leave your things behind
‘Cause it’s all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you’re writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble-wrap
When you’ve no idea what you’re like

This evening four years ago I was possibly struggling as much as I ever hope I have to. Christmas day is now a strange day for me. An aniversary of leaving, of goodbyes, of memories. We were at a Christmas eve service less than an hour ago now and I was thinking how each year it does get easier and was wondering if I could or should conjure up – or even just think about that stuff.

No it’s not the point of Christmas, but its a very big part of my life – was and is.
I had decided it would quite foolish to intentionally going about feeling sad, simply for the sake of a memory. So I sat as I was, oddly indifferent to it all.

I don’t know what tomorrow will be like for me. I can’t deny I’m not feeling a sense of loss now. No doubt it will occupy part of my time tomorrow and it’ll hurt like crazy in the way that certain memories strangely do.

Each year changes things.

I can only be thankful, I am not completely in the same situation of the man I sold a ‘dealing with grieving’ book to the other day. No one should have to go through that, particularly in the over marketed ‘joy’ at Christmas. Mine is a different kind of loss, it doesn’t quite match death.

God gave. Maybe I should think about the giving and not the taking.


Got my Tabor results today (after Sam said hers came in the mail) I went online and there they were! No post for me yet.

The good news is that I passed.
The bad news is nothing.

Worst mark a P+ for ‘Special Ministry Topic’ (yeh not entirely surprised, could have put a fraction more effort into it).

Best mark a HD+ (Didn’t even know you could get them) for Christian History – the one subject I really didn’t put too much effort into as I’ve done it too many times, actually no, I lie. I enjoyed finding out about Augustine (which was for major essay). I am surprised though. Yay for Craig the shark man (or maybe I shouldn’t say that as Rowan might read this :P).

The rest were all quite good.

So all is fine and dandy. I am pleased. Not that I did YITS for the certificate and work, but yeah, it’s sort of nice to know.

Now I just have to wait until April 1 for graduation. Which means I’ll be 3 days off 20, which is just strange, and I’ll have to wear a stupid black gown thing which no doubt will be too big for me (as things from uniform shops generally are).

If you would like to come, I’m sure you can, but I don’t know where it is going to be yet. Actually Dave I think you know (near your house?). Does any of the yits people reading this know if we can invite people along?

Better question, do I even want you there? Sam, what’s the inside information from April on how it runs…?

Let me get back to you on this.