I can just utterly refute the grouch of the post about 10 minutes ago?

I turn around and the rain is pouring down. No rain drops, just water and water and water. I go and stand in it. It is gone almost before I get out there.

I still am not 100% but being able to smile a bit helps. The smell brings back a memory. The smell of rain and smoke. It smells like the Solomons, I do not mind. God is good.


I show up at work. Oh you got told the wrong thing (or I heard the wrong thing) you aren’t working today, but now you are here…

12:04. Bec is out the back stickering books with Mel (manager) I get massively dizzy, my ears start ringing and I do not even go through the consider ‘should I say something, I’m probably okay’ phase, I just did and went and sat down. I nearly blacked out several times. Felt unbearably hot, sweaty, then cold, and sick and dizzy. Finally managed to get up enough to get some water, felt a bit better after that. Ears rang for like 5 minutes at least. Mel got me a cold towel thing. “Got anyone you can call?”

So I got on to Jess. Again. She was wonderful. Felt a bit better but still sick all afternoon, stayed at her place in the aircon watching movies. Hot, cold.

Now I am home (thanks again Sam to your Dad). I still feel hot (beyond just the weather), despite having had panadiene at Jess’s. I still feel sick and cant be stuffed cooking dinner as I dont feel much like eating, I dont want to have a shower as I’d rather not keel over in there (as thats where anything like that usually happens), but I do want one. And I want to sleep but its too hot and parents will call or something after 7pm.

I am sad. It’s such a hassle being sick when there’s no one around.


A Norah Jones morning. Reasonably lazy breakfast and utter productivity without hardly even trying.

They (the rest of my esteemed family) left at around 7:30 – an hour or so later than they intended. I got up around a similar time in order to hear out the last minute things.

So they left and that song “Come Away with Me” comes on and I can remember a class sometime last year where that was used to illustrate something of God. I think I need this time by myself – and despite last night’s semi-qualms and frustration at all the smoke in the area it is only clear skys this morning.

I had a brilliant dream last night. I rarely seem to dream and I think I’ve only ever had one dream that I’ve enjoyed just fractionally more than this one. I was with someone in a car, we were talking and laughing, just laughing and laughing and enjoying whatever it was we were saying and enjoying eachother. This indescribable joy that you seem to rarely find in life. I woke up without opening my eyes and thought, I want to remember this. I wish I could translate the feeling like the Giver can do to Jonas (in the book The Giver – Lowis Lowry :P).

Utter productivity after they’d left. Did the dishes and the washing and putting more on and clearing up around the place, closed the house to save what little attempt at cool and watered the plants. Got ready for work and have written a blog all before 9:00am.

Difficulty in getting to work today as it is Australia day and the busses aren’t running (and hey, I have payed, so my P’s should be booked as soon as she can get a good date). Jess it taking me to the station, and Wes (Sam’s dad) is going to pick me up this evening. Nothing like an 8 hour shift to combat the heat. Far better than being at home. We live in a hot house, or a cold house depending on the alternate weather to what’s desired.

Have a beautiful day.

Today I am an optimist.