November 6, 2006

An interesting thread over on Gush caught my eye last night. There has been a good change up lately of discussions, this is no exception. It is also disturbingly relevant.

James posted the following,

“Do you ever get the feeling like your so lazy that your wasting your life away? I do all the time! And its that time that you can’t get back. I meet new and interesting people that have done so much with their time, been so effective with the management and way they live that they ooze with awesomeness. I find that compared to these influential people, i pretty much suck at life. Has anyone else felt that way? That they manage to meet people who seem to be do so much, budget really well and achieve all they set their mind too? What are your suggestions and what do you do that makes you feel like your achieving and doing something with your time? Or are you like me, and manage to do little, achieve little and ultimately just stand in awe of those that do.”

I gave a 12:30am kind of response, but it has been something that I’ve been thinking about for some time.

I was reflecting on this year on the train ride home from my last exam and have realised just how much of it I haven’t used well. I am very certain that the moment I semi-consciously worked out I wasn’t going to be sticking out the course that I worked to the minimum of achieving relatively decent marks but not really caring about the actual content. Oh I’m sure there were moments of inspiration but I didn’t explore areas of interest simultaneously.

When. When. When.

It is somewhat difficult to quantify how your relationship with God is going. There is no hope in anything that I’ve learnt as much as I did last year. I was prepared for that, no surprise at all really. It’s been slow – there’s no point denying it. It’s not bad as such but I haven’t probably grown in understanding or as a person as much as I would’ve liked or even set as a good consistent standard.

Lazy. Slack. “Busy”.

This year has been positive in so many ways. It’s bought it’s own challenges but it has been an easier year. I’m not sure if it’s fair on myself to even say I ‘needed a break’ as last year was an immensely rewarding but ugly hack, but it hasn’t served as something effective.

I have every intention (and refuse to hang out with me or something if I don’t) to get away for a few days during this holiday and explore a bit more about what perhaps God wants from me this coming year and just lining up a bit more structure and fluidity into how I’m living.

I am grateful to RobbertyBob for pointing out some kind of Biblical place of where to start.

Examining my life is something I would like to do (and probably we should all do) on a fairly regular basis.

Ephesians 5:15-16 (imitating God and living a life of love)
“Be very careful, then, how you liveâ€”not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

tree I was reading from John 15 this morning about the ‘Vine and the Branches’. I have underlined in my Bible the section about remaining in God’s love (v9-11) and my eye strayed further down to where it talks about bearing fruit.

The past few time’s I’ve gone on to Gush there have been a few posts that have to some degree made my blood boil. They are not flat wrong. I am simply hesitant about the way in which they were posted (which you have to be on the look out for as a mod – and I’d probably do regardless). I so far haven’t gone about addressing them, nor am sure if it is my place to do so. Perhaps it is too much to assume a person can change if you point out a few things. I certainly haven’t gone there yet – which has been a lesson learnt over the time I’ve been involved ie: leave it when you’re tired and frustrated because it doesn’t ever end well.

Something we seem to come across a lot in Gush or even in talking about Christianity is the question, ‘does it bear good fruit?’. A funny little analogy which I presume likens us to some kind of tree. If it appears to ‘bear good fruit’ then it’s usually fine and right and dare I say it, of God.

Reading it reminded me of how we so quickly grasp at a truth that works well for a large variety of issues and don’t take the time to actually head back to look at it in it’s fullness.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruitâ€”fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.” -John 15:16-17

We can bear fruit all we like. We can approve of something that has instant ramifications, an instant, ‘this is good’ justification by looking at what’s coming of it. But what about the longer term consequences?
Does the fruit last?

You can see much more from hindsight. I enjoy and even take a bit of pride in that I find it relatively simple to see the majority of possible problems that can arise from something, but it’s probably not the very first thing I’d look at – the long term. Regardless of who we are, some of it is unconscious and some of has got to be listening to what the Holy Spirit is saying.

We can charge into our ‘crusade for the greater good of the people’ and thoroughly disregard what real implications the apparently instant fruit we see may result in.

I find it interesting that I came into this considering how I am (still yet undecided) going to deal with what this person has put forward, in that I don’t think it will bear great long term instruction and now find the finger pointing a little back at myself.

It’s got to work both ways. You cannot avoid confrontation where it is appropriate, but you do need to decide when to just let things be.

all said and done

Not as Unwise

A Tree

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