My blind ears

I do not know
How I should live
I try one thing, it waxes then wans
and then I do not try at all.
I hope, hope desperately to be on watch
To watch and hear, my seeing ears
My open ears
And yet sometimes it feels as if cold nothing,
or loud otherthing crowds in – overwhelming
There is a vibrating in my ears
and it is stopping me from seeing.

Jesus heals the blind.

Matt 9:27-31