Published August 8, 2017 by

Fizzy Lifting Drink

Where does photography fit with vocation? Photography has a loud voice but the world of my kind of photography (weddings, families, newborns, birth) it feels a bit like a clanging gong. This right now is either the challenge to engage in what celebration offers the world – because I am not clueless or entirely disenchanted with what I do, infact I love it. The internal tangle appears when I google things like Photographers Without Borders and my heart beats hard and fast and I am transported back to that time I met that little girl in a remote Vietnamese village who had to walk a stupidly long way to get to school. But the logistics of such enterprises with two small kids and a mortgage are an impossible fizzy lifting drink and right now the bubbles are all flat. How does one negotiate a suppressed bubble?

“‘Oh, those are fabulous,’ cried Mr Wonka. ‘They fill you with bubbles, and the bubbles are full of a special kind of gas, and this gas is so terrifically lifting that it lifts you right off the ground just like a balloon, and up you go until your head hits the ceiling – and there you stay.'” – From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Life Photography

Published January 14, 2017 by

Time is an arkenstone

Apparently I’ve forgotten how to write. I know I love to write but I don’t do it. Isn’t that the way with so many things. With with relationships, with stillness. We forget, trivialise and fail to invest. Sometimes it’s about not knowing where start or how to keep going. Priorities get hung up on stupid things or things that are by-products of the things we actually want.

Time is an arkenstone.

What do you want? What really matters? These are questions that should hang around.

I was driving up the mountain one day – at least a year ago now, and there was a car stopped next to me at the lights. A small bird was frantically flying at and crashing into the drivers side window. Fly, crash, repeat. It was weird. There was a wonderfully ominous storm cloud at the top of the mountain. It fit together so well that I often think of it. Maybe we’re like that bird? Too invested in our own reflection to be properly connected with who we are.

Bird metaphors suck. But I still like them and I won’t forget it.

Life Observations Words

arkenstone bird metaphor Words

Published October 3, 2016 by

Faithful to that wistful longing

The last fruit of holy obedience is the simplicity of the trusting child, the simplicity of the children of God. It is the simplicity which lies beyond complexity. It is the naiveté which is the yonder side of sophistication. It is the beginning of spiritual maturity, which comes after the awkward age of religious busyness for the Kingdom of God—yet how many are caught, and arrested in development, within this adolescent development of the soul’s growth! The mark of this simplified life is radiant joy. . . .Knowing sorrow to the depths it does not agonize and fret and strain, but in serene, unhurried calm it walks in time with the joy and assurance of Eternity. Knowing fully the complexity of men’s problems it cuts through to the Love of God and ever cleaves to Him. . . It binds all obedient souls together in the fellowship of humility and simple adoration of Him who is all in all.

This amazing simplification comes when we “center down,” when life is lived with singleness of eye, from a holy Center where the breath and stillness of Eternity are heavy upon us and we are wholly yielded to Him. Some of you know this holy, recreating Center of eternal peace and joy and live in it day and night. Some of you may see it over the margin and wistfully long to slip into that amazing Center where the soul is at home with God. Be very faithful to that wistful longing. It is the Eternal Goodness calling you to return Home, to feed upon green pastures and walk beside still waters and live in the peace of the Shepherd’s presence. It is the life beyond fevered strain. We are called beyond strain, to peace and power and joy and love and thorough abandonment of self. We are called to put our hands trustingly in His hand and walk the holy way, in no anxiety assuredly resting in Him.

-Thomas R. Kelly (1893-1941)

Christianity Words

Published June 12, 2016 by

Observing Life

I am a little bit shocked that it was January 2015 when I last wrote anything. In some ways I have no space to write any more. But then perhaps this is what is necessary – to carve that tiny bit of space, to find mental space again? The no space thing is probably a lie. And yet, the last year has been full full full and sleep deprived. I’m waiting (still) for that to improve. Claire is nearing four, Céleste nearing two. Surely the sleep thing gets better. I know it gets better. I can’t believe I didn’t throw an epic party to beat all parties when Claire improved, I can’t even remember when that happened? It was worth celebrating, I’m waiting Céleste.

I turned 30 this year. I threw a party. I don’t like parties very much but I did like this one. It was at night, there was fairlights and a fire-pit and my music and no kids,  it had a coffee cart and donuts (oh my the donuts from ShortStop are stunning) and it had good people. I like being 30. I actually kind of feel like things are settled and paced (despite the daily madness that I can’t seem to escape). It’s fun seeing what life looks like with two kids even if the balance is an almighty juggle between being a decent parent/human and running my own business and finding space for myself. I suck at the last one.

I do think that I am perhaps on the cusp of working this balance thing out despite the fact I’m not sure we ever actually do, and it’s surprising me writing this down, as I am brain dumping from being sick in bed (which is pretty much the only time I stop). As always there are things in my life that could be cracking along MUCH better but there ARE things that I am doing well. I feel like I write this same thing over and over in my head. Nearly there, nearly there. Keep on, keeping on, such is this phase of life.

Life I want to live you but I want to observe you at the same time… from my bed with a cup of coffee.

General Life Observations

Published January 8, 2015 by

Caravan Park

Walking there, the air is heavy with humidity. A girl with a bob and lanky limbs rides her bike after her friend. The great cloud looms,  there is expectancy in the weight of the air. They sit about, beers in stubbies, thongs thrust eagerly forward on complacent feet. Striped awnings flap and there someone tugs on a guy rope for security. Flap, flap. She sits on the edge of the balcony leaning on her knees, phone pressed to her ear watching as three walk past, two prams – trying to put the babies to sleep. A little girl takes off her shoes and complains about her hat, she goes to sit on her tricycle, the handle is around the wrong way. Seagulls line the roof, ruffled by the breeze that is lifting the edges of tents; they are perfecting symmetry. The ocean noise is messed about momentarily by someones radio then it is still. This is an ageless Australia, rain is coming.

Observations Words