Useful

During this remarkably drawn out downtime between the end of university, a move and now a job (career) hunt. I have had a fair bit of time to contemplate ‘useful’ or rather ‘useless’ because things do start getting to you after a bit. A possibility of something waits for me a few hours and a phone call away and It’s got me seriously thinking about what I want because to be honest it’s not the to-the-t best fit (or necessarily the ultimate desired direction although it vaguely waves in the right zone). Do I just take something and deal with specifics later – it’s all experience? Or is that how you wind up with mediocrity? Perhaps it is worth giving things a chance?

I am valuing greatly the words of my fellow travelers (through this interesting life – however seperate, different and far they are from me) because they remind me of, Value vs. Usefulness and also the equating of Fear to Pain.

I do truly wonder what God is doing sometimes, because it’s sure messing with my head.

(and damn I wish they hadn’t call me back, because now I have to call them back – I wanted the decision made for me)

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