Writing a post now is some kind of evil-forced reflection on the past week.

I have been up at Soul Survivor for it’s entirety, bar the last afternoon/evening and one night session hiatus for a 21st. This is the third year in a row – I think. It could be the fourth. It’s always interesting seeing what goes on. God generally uses it as a grand old chance to mess wildly with my head. Last year’s highlight was found in leaving a ‘main session’ going off on a walk and having God speak pretty clearly to me after catching my attention with possibly the most mind blowing moon ever (the same one that frequents your night sky actually). Nothing so gobsmackingly obvious and beautiful naturalistically this year.

Here’s the bare honest truth. I love Soul Survivor for the chance to step out of my ‘daily patterns’, I love the people, I love watching my youth kids pray for eachother, rally around others (and they around them). I love watching people change and grow. But I pretty much spend the whole time, every time frustrated in trying to work out what the hell is going on. Not so much in a bad way – it’s hard to explain. I guess I have this enormous dissatisfaction at the moment with the type of stock standard basic life that I live and although I know, I know there is stuff I do that is good and hey stuff that even is a bit on about bringing about God’s kingdom – I struggle to see it. And even when I do, I don’t think that I’m quite on the right track.

My (kinda) friend Steve Said ran some seminars about the Kingdom of God and if you ever get the chance to hear him do. I’m sure he’d be happy to assist busting some misconceptions. I’ve heard him before, but I needed to hear it again. The VERY short version:

The kingdom of God and following Jesus is not about what you eat – it’s not about prescribed rules at all.

“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,” – Romans 14:17

And before you approach that directly, go and blow the brains out of your standard understanding of righteousness, justice, peace and joy. Erm… take some time and learn Greek and have conversations with lots of wise people or shortcut by going and buying the recordings off the seminars.

Prescribed rules are easier but I don’t think they’re what I want.

(and that my friends is why I’m going to add this stupid little mid-post footnote – calling you my friends – and saying that I think you’re a tool if you think you can go to church on Sunday, lead a “moral” little life, don’t swear and think that you’re following Jesus. Harsh? Hey well I need to hear some of it too and I really wanted to use a different word than tool btw… but I figure I’d better keep this vaguely respectable.)

The other thing I was reminded about was the word Vocare (oh yes, remember that thing I started and pulled out of due to wedding insanity?)

Vocare (latin) basically is on about vocation – where your deepest passion meets a great need in the world. I’d really like to be living my vocation, vocare.

If someone could tell me what my deepest passion is, I’d be greatly obliged.