To borrow a phrase off my friend Sam, “Dear lovely avid blog readers”,

I have had a long rant/talk with God tonight.
I will not be blogging as much as I have been as it has become too consuming. I also have very frustrating rsi . I am investing in a new chair tomorrow if mum remembers to pick it up for me, which hope will help a little.

This is not to say I wont be not blogging. I still will.
I think sometimes I overshare.
And so if I can let the focus change slightly I will.
Jo you asked me once “Why do you blog”. Maybe I should work that out.

I have not fully worked out how I will/if I will change a focus – does this even have a focus? I don’t particularly want to be asked millions of ‘why’ questions. I am finding msn and such ‘methods’ increasingly frustrating, limitating so I will hope to lighten up on that usage as well. Nothing beats real life realtionships.

For those of you from yits. I am finding it exceptionally difficult to answer the, ‘Who am I becoming?’ question and other such annoyances. I have been caging myself a little in words – not just in expressing stuff here or to you in conversation (real or otherwise), but to my own head. I am this very normal often lonely, not knowing what’s next human. I’d do well to remember it.

Where God fits in all this. In not knowing. Oh he’s there. Some stuff needs to be fixed re: me and him – which is a bit of what tonight’s been on about.

Uni next year. I dont know if this is what I want to be doing. Yet I get to talk to a guy over lunch at work today – Paul Stevens. ‘Interactive designer’ how beautifully fitting. Had a good real kind of conversation (as much as you can have) with someone I’ve met once (in passing before). He asked good questions. Gave me his business card – any questions re:design etc… just email. Good contact to have. I realised later that it was I guess God’s way of letting me know I’m not in on this next year thing along he’s got his fingers in my pie.

A question of priorities, maybe is what tonight has been.


  1. said:

    Hey Bec,
    Forgot I had this then saw it tonight and had a gander. (hope u don’t mind)
    Gut reaction to that one without context, or understanding.
    Why does one need to know who they are becomming? Can God move in someone that has decided on their destination?

    October 24, 2005
  2. said:


    hence my misconstured idea of ‘becoming’ which I got whalloped over the head with during the Sermon on Sunday. I haven’t blogged for a few days and so much catch it up.

    Simply the becoming aspect I initially took as the destination and not the process/journey… more later.

    October 24, 2005

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