Church was full, really full this morning. 400+ people there.
I have been having severe doubts over whether I should be there. Yes the same old story again. The idea recently has been, get my P’s and try out LBaps during the evening. I guess the problem of the whole matter is that I don’t feel very welcome/involved at YVV. It’s a great church, dont’ get me wrong. I like how they do things, it’s laid back, it’s not hypey, it’s got a good feel.
There is zero things (pretty much) for young adults, and those there seem to be in fairly close knit groups. So I was feeling rather negative about the whole thing and have basically given it these last few weeks to somehow improve. Unrealistic somewhat foolish I guess, but yeah.
Anyhow, Wednesday night is some intro night, where they’ll have more stuff on all the things going on around the church. Apparently there is going to be something tried to be started up for young adults. I shall endeavor to go to that and give it a chance.
After church, after a brief chat with Chris (did Yr12 with him) Laura and I were just sort of hanging around (oh I really do love being a twin sometimes, you’ve got that other person) and Daniel comes up. Major kudos (or whatever they call that crap) for him. Dan did YITS at Berwick. The same guy who tried his best to say hello to me up at Soul when I was asleep in the tent and heard someone calling my name and I couldn’t work out who it was. He knows where I sit with the whole, “I don’t know what to do about church” thing as he’s had similar issues.
It’s incredibally nice, to have someone come up and just start talking to you when you’re sort of new but not new enough for people to do the, “Hi, you’re new” thing – which never really happened in the first place. So he’s talking to me and Laura for a while, and then a guy called Josh (who turns out to be Naomi Greaves ‘yr12 girl’ younger brother) and Matt (Dans younger brother) and Isobelle (yr.12 who was chatting w/ Laura). So talking about uni and driving and all such things. Then I nearly died of shock when Evie (a girl whom Ana introduced me to a few weeks back – she’d be bit older than me) comes up and says hello. So inside, I’m doing the whole ‘argh, this just makes descisions harder’. Did a thank you yell at Steve (Hazza) on his way out.
So Wednesday night, will be a bit of a telling time I think and hope. I would genuinely like to stay at Vineyard. I’d like it if transitions were smoother. God’s doing something (or trying hehe) to keep me there by the look of it. Or… actually I don’t really have a clue.
Prayer for this church mess would be great. A big bit of me is really missing what I somehow had at Wattle Park, just knowing people I suppose. Church is so much about community and relationships in leu of God and his love for us collectively. It would nice not to feel an outsider. So much is up in the air.