Finished. 2000wrds on the book of Job. a Bible Study thing. Major pest to write. Done. Not posting here, not worth it, boring and long. More ‘other’ to do. Too busy.

Consequently, no journal time, no God time, no other time. What am I doing online?

Talked with Burkes (don’t hurt me!) last night about Bible reading. How yeah, I’m not getting much out of it, nor very motivated. Encouraged, maybe even a bit motivated to get back into it, with more specific intentions rather than my read and forget method (that I seem to use for everything). God poked me again on the way home today about that. Haven’t done it.

I should get offline.

General Life

Good day today. Interesting and weird stuff about angels and demons in Doctrine. Of which led to a conversation at lunch with Sam, Warrick (CL lecturer), Tom, Kym and a few others that were just there. I said how I’d been thinking – strangely about angels yesterday (before I knew this mornings topic) for no apparent reason. Warrick asked if it happened a lot or before or soemthing, and my ‘Oh all the time’… led me, very surprisingly to proceed to tell him of some of the bizzare stuff. The ideas I get in my head (or verses) to tell others. Let off quite a speil, strange because there were a few others there. Even mentioned how I thought God has told me how long until I get married or something (but am holding that pretty loosely).

Anyway, Warrick asked me about prophesy and did I think it was that… not sure, maybe. Was reminded of a conversation or two I had with various people about stuff like this and how _ was saying it might be prophesy. Not to say the idea does not sit right or anything, it’s just a little hmm… thought provoking, strange (I like that word too much tonight).

Warrick encouraged me to pray about it, and about God, you using me to speak into others lives. If you want me to do that so be it. I wouldn’t mind knowing a bit more really, the experience I had with a prophesy someone gave me, well was mixed.

It was nothing huge I guess, just a note she passed to me. Encouragement, that was good. But then something about reminding me that God was with me through this tough time – an unbeknown to her – there wasn’t one, not for months.
Skeptism about it all. I appreciate her doing what she thought God was telling her to do and saying what she though, but yes.

Then again, maybe that was for now, not the actual words, but the experience – thought prompting.

Yes, so interesting day. Good time hanging otu with Katie, Sam, Tom, Mark, Dave… hmm there was someone else there.

Talked about love in CL. Good stuff, wish we had more time though. More about that maybe tomorrow.

Christianity General Life

So my mind running parallel avenues. That of today and of a song ‘Re-birth’ by Ignate which surprisingly due to style, somehow found it’s way into the favourable.

An elaboration on some of what I wrote earlier…


rebirth my faith to child like
Went to Paul’s church today, for gush mission spot thing. Tij, Cathy and Prowdy also there.
Interestingly I most enjoyed being in a ‘non-disfunctional’ church (all churches are to a certain extent, but yeah). It was like it should be. Maybe I’ve never really connected with WPC (my church) properly. I love the place, the people – those I still know. I like it for memories sake but it’s not working for me anymore. I might wear critical lenses, having been a part of it for so long… It’s missed something. Maybe it’s the community aspect. You see them Sunday and that’s it. I miss that, surrounded by community for most of my life 24-7 to nothing.
Differences: the older people enjoyed themselves, there was genuine…joy, worship. A freedom WPC lacks.
I feel constricted.
and at the moment I don’t really know what to do about it.
Change churches is the obvious, but to where? Is that what you want?
So they are kicking the ___’s out of church. Strange really. They’ve been there so long, and I never knew. Yeah I saw them walk out of church that time… and names mentioned in passing. 3 years it’s been going on. I don’t understand how people can get in and intentionally work to create factions in a church because of their dislike of the pastor, changes etc… Christianity – what about living it?
Lunch at La Porchetta’s… I think that’s pizza of some variety 3 days in a row now, didn’t mind to much. Then found a park near the Murrabanong (sp?) river. Dry but beautiful. Prowdy led us on some bush bash… explore the area thing. Was good.
Encouraged to hear about gush/merge stuff first hand. Emails and MSN really don’t do ideas justice… made some things clearer. Good to hang out with them all (understating the ‘all’ but anyway)
…to be daring
rebirth my faith to childlike
and God to know you and find my sufficency in you.
2 Cor 5:6-10
6Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7We live by faith, not by sight. 8We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.
misread ^ … an out of context thing, the body as the Church. Thought provoking.
2 Cor 5:17-21
17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
and so to end a highly disjointed sequence of thoughts, boring day details and stuff.
stuff is good.


I get tired of self evaluation, implimenting change – trying to work out what to deal with next. It’s ridiculous God. Why do I always forget that all I need is to listen to you, seek you, learn to know you. I get so wrapped up in ‘bettering me’. Where’s the balance God in developing charcter and taking self awareness to the point where it cripples you? How God, do I know? Is it when I get down because I feel I’m not learning, not being challenged? Is it when, because of my life and the lack of abundance of busy, or the alternate, too busy to analyse and that being where I go flat. Does so much of my God relationship focus on trying to build up a likeness, while too frequently forgetting about the actual relationship factor?

In my weariness of ‘rebecca evaluation’ I have done just that. re-evaluated me. A good thing as maybe I identified the ‘should be’ obvious. Acting out on changing it is a different matter. Too long God have I looked to you for challenge, for what I do not need as a primary focus. Lord I only need you. How easy it is to get wrapped up in anything else.

God, I think I know what I need, but I really don’t. You know. I do know that I need you every minute, not for what I can learn or become, but for who you are.

Instead of asking for growth Abba, let me know how to love you. To see you as God and to hold you in the highest honor.

You are God.
And if my life does not express that, If I haven’t grasped that concept, then any growth, strength of character is meaningless.

“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” – Ecclesiastes 12:13

Because you are God.

You know I like irony, don’t you God? Where I evaluate my evaluations, think about thinking and am forever wrapping myself back to the start.


After a day of frustrating procrastination and ‘stuckness’… I have written 400 of the 2000 I am meant to have on a “Bible Study” of the book of Job. *black look* What a way to spend a Saturday.

I did get questions back from Melina. Practical Evangelism essay thing… and they are incredibly interesting, so I’ll post them here. The idea is to get a feel for their world view and then write up a report on culturally appropriate methods of explaining Jesus etc…

Challenge to you, to ask non-chrisitan friends this kind of stuff. Lots, sorry for length. Any observations, please comment this is going to be fractionally harder than I thought it might be.


What are the most important things in your life?

– Making a positive difference in this world

– Friends and family- and my wider family of course, which is the world

What are your favourite activities in life?

– Talking, sharing ideas, philosophising with friends

– Working for a company where my contribution is real and valued

– Learning, through experience, reading, music, events, the news, other people, my new ventures or businesses

What do you celebrate in life?

– Traditionally- Christmas, Easter, NYE, Chinese NYE, birthdays anniversaries etc

– Untraditionally, friendships, partnerships, new ideas, life changing concepts, the rise of the “long tail”, power to the people etc

What do you think makes a good person?

– Someone who has good intentions for the world as a whole, not just for themselves, or just for their family, or just for their race or group, but for all(of course the fact that the definition of “good intentions” is completely subjective can cause conflict sometimes)

– Acting on those good intentions really is necessary to make one a good person

What do you think makes a bad person?

– Someone who has good intentions for themselves or just a sector of the world which then creates negative intentions towards the rest of the world as a result.

Do you think your life or view in the world are unique?

– I think that we as people are all unique from one another, however I am not so naïve to think that I am the only person that thinks this way. In fact, I believe that a whole lot of people probably think along the same lines that I do

– I think that my world view is unique from other world views because it puts the onus or power back on the individual to make what he or she wants out of life, and considers “success” and “health” and “wellbeing” on a grand scale, rather than individual or family or sector based.

What would you say is the point of life?

– Life is about the journey, not the destination for me.

– The point in life is to live and love the journey, to learn as you go, cherish each and every day and leave this earth slightly better than when you joined it. After all, that’s all we can do

Melina’s Philosophy

I think that you get the most out of life when you play at 100%

I truly believe that we are all interconnected, essentially we are all one. Although we only have conscious awareness of our individual selves, I believe that on an unconscious level, we are just one.

Live and love the journey, as this is when true happiness occurs.

Stop to smell the roses regularly, this will give you clarity and peace.


What values and beliefs would you want to pass on to your children or friends?

– Do unto others….

– Act with the “whole” in mind. (as in the whole world)

– Have a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity

– You are empowered to make change in this world, what you do is up to you

– How do you become happy? You decide to.

– You’ll be amazed at what you can achieve when you set your mind to it.

If you could change the world, what would be different?

– Freedom for all

– Fair and equal distribution of resources so that empowered people can do their best work!

What do you think about church?

– I don’t know much about church. I think that institutionalised religion can be dangerous, as some become like runaway freight trains, i.e. Hardcore traditionalists, cults etc

Does attending church appeal to you at all?

– Gathering at a place every week to share ideas, support one another and unite to a positive cause – I believe in this idea in theory.

– The idea of attending church (and I don’t think I have ever been) seems to me to be an awesome, good intentions community to be a part of, but the idea of attending church itself does not appeal to me because I feel like I’d need to conform to be a part of it

What would you change about church, to make it somewhat more appealing?

– To accept all races and religions into it, and to become a more generic place of unity and respect and acceptance, like I eluded to above.

– The only Christian thing I have been to recently was Festival Victoria with Franklin Graham, and the whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth. I think that the philosophy of Christianity is well meaning, with good intentions, from what I know of it, but ultimatums, threats and judgements on other people, other cultures and other people’s values and opinions is not only intrusive, it’s down right offensive.

– I don’t hold it against people that are Christian, so why must Christians hold it against me that I’m not. It just does not seem like a fair and respectful playing field.

What do you expect a church service to be like?

– Some singing, and someone up the front speaking about the bible and the way of god, and making it relate to everyday modern life with examples, stories metaphors etc.

– Sometimes uplifting and inspiring, sometimes creating feelings of guilt and inadequacy

What do you think God is like?

– Well, that depends on which God you are asking about. The Christian God, I’ll assume. The ideas I’ve gotten from Christians about what God is like is that he is part of us and that we are part of him. He is an all-mighty, all-seeing being, who rises above us all. He knows all and sees all. He is loving and forgiving. He shows compassion and love to his followers when they show their love for him.

Do you think there is more than just the physical world we see?

– Yes, I believe that our conscious only allows us to see a miniscule amount of what is actually out there. I believe that we are all made up of the same energy, and that the circle of life recirculates this energy. Because of this, I think that we are all interconnected with each other, and the earth as a whole. I believe in having a soul or a spirit inside us which makes us more than just physical matter. What happens to this soul when we die I am not sure.

What do you think about the supernatural and spiritual realities?

Not sure about the question…

I think they are a possibility

Have you ever had a ‘spiritual’ experience?

– I believe that we are connected and can communicate without words to a certain extent. I believe that people that have passed can communicate with us to a certain extent, and have experienced this once.

– I have felt “at one” with the Universe.

What do you think about Jesus Christ?

– I don’t know anything about Jesus Christ. From what others say, who believe in him, he appears to be a selfless individual. However if “the only way is through Jesus”…

– I don’t think I know enough to have a valid opinion about Jesus Christ.