Finis (sic) (unabridged)

Yesterday’s 20/8/05

Final catch up with Wattle Park people tonight. It was strangely absurd. Someone decided on a footy theme – possibly for Jake’s sake (5yr old pastors kid, the mad Richmond supporter). Really strange, people happily chatting and those you could read like a bilboard, loss colouring their faces, avoiding their mouths but finding presence in their eyes.
I was disappointed that I didn’t get to see Renee or Janice. Kate was there, it was a bit unusual seeing as I have hardly seen her at all this year with her Salvo’s thing going on.

10 minutes in I got the distinct impression it would be a long night, which in many ways it was. I was for a lot of the time fairly bored. I grilled Lauren on ‘what’s going on at WPC lately’? – my kids club girl. Jan’s sister, who is a foot taller than me and still growing.

Chatted also to a guy who a long long time back ran kids club when I was part of it (as a kid)… that or he married my Sunday School leader – something of the kind. Mildly say that I know faces but never got names of many of the older people down pat. (WPC congregation:) ‘greatly diminished’.

Carrol C is doing a brilliant job I’m sure with the night services. I see her at Tabor. I have a heck of a lot of respect for her.

I don’t know if that (tonight) was ‘closure’ for me. If it was necessary? I no longer feel as if I belong there. Faces are just faces after all. Cold and heartless Bec, maybe, but that’s simply the way it is.
There are people like the Smiths, we wont ever lose contact with them… I am okay with letting many just slip by.

I don’t know exactly it was that was missing form drawing me into that church but there is something that I hope exists and I find elsewhere. God be in my future and in my now.

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