After a bit more thinking then finding both Burkie’s and Jas comments, which I did the diservice of replying very quickly to, I guess I should back track or at least clarify a couple of things – which actually will just turn out to be a continuation of last nights theorising.
Back to some fundamentals (thanks Burks):
“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.â€ – 1 Cor 13:6-7 (emphasis mine)
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Phillipians 4:6-7
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:9-12 (emphasis mine again)
“God is at work in response to our prayers, whether we see something happening or not. If we are truly praying, â€œThy will be done,â€ forces are at work beyond our comprehension – and often, beyond our vision. But they are working just the same.”
Now there’s a lot to think about.
How oddly hilarious:
Just read the Rebekah story again… HA! What do you think about the relevance of this? It could have been any girl who rocked up at that well.
“It could have been any girl”. Or was God involved somewhere behind the scenes?
Yeah I’m just gonna keep nitpicking little points 😛
Sometimes this blog exhausts me Bec.
Personally, I like the whole idea of “one” person. Let’s face it, if all goes according to plan, that’s the total number of people we’ll end up marrying.
You could, of course, argue that there is more than one possibility of marriage partner out there. I see that whole discussion as rather useless though. If it’s true, there’s no way of knowing who the ‘possibles’ are, so you’re still left trying to discern who will be the ‘one’ final choice. The argument almost becomes semantic when you look at it like that.
One of my friends likes to say that she doesn’t believe there is any ‘one’ person out there for her to marry. Coming from the person who says it, I see that as a cop out… an excuse to have exclusive relationships with different guys because she prioritises having a close relationship with someone now. To me it looks like a horrible little consumer mentality towards relationships. Selling out on character for closeness.
The only thing that the idea of “more than one possibility” can help you do, is justify getting close to someone without being intentional or realistic about the present and future of the relationship.
Personally, I want to be realistic about relationships. I think our generation uses the ‘multiple partners’ stuff so that we can brush off our failed relationships with “Oh, it just wasn’t working out”, or because we prefer to indulge our sinful nature than think of ourselves with sober judgement. We are all accountable for our own failed relationships.
Thats true paul, but the argument the other way would be for someone to be in a relationship with someone, and when something doesn’t work out or whatever you just decide that that person is the ‘one’ and that the relationship has to end and you dont really get throuhg the problem, or even know what the problem is. The other bit is where we decide that ‘God is telling us to seperate’ sort of story, and this is what has happened to myself recently (i was on the receiving end).
Anyways that’s my rant for now
Christians play the “God told me to” card a lot of the time. If it’s a girl breaking up with a guy, generally it’s code for “I’m breaking up with you and I want to be nice about it and not hurt your feelings.” That’s a load of garbage. There would have to be a stack of reasons why it wasn’t working though… and some of them would have to be from your side of the fence. That’s the nature of relationships after all.
I strongly suggest that you don’t use my comments to justify yourself as the hardly-done-by person in the right. Maybe I’m reading too much into it… but I always start to worry about anyone who posts a Gush thread on “age differences in relationships”. 😉
essence of the fact:
I could have a sucessful marriage with A
I could have a sucessful marriage with B
God has a Mr. X out there for me (X being the variable) and that Mr. X is my one be he A or B.
It does and doesn’t make sense.
Of course much of it is semantics.
Too many people use “oh it looks like I got it wrong about you being my Mr. Right, I’d better dump you and try again”
How does ‘one person’ relate paul when say that ‘one’ dies and the person remarries?
A relationship should only be questioned where character comes into play, or simple (or complicated) non-compatibility, which God sometimes gives us the edge on knowing. I’ll say that now and then think about it all later.
I will not date for the sake of dating. That is stupid. I would never use the ‘one’ business as an excuse to act out on boyfriend shopping.
jas: why God picked Rebekah, I don’t know.He could have picked Mary or Jane or… if that was in his plan for Issac, my point was that the guy came looking for the one who fit what he asked God about.
mmm yer you are reading into it too much, i wasn’t trying to “justify yourself as the hardly-done-by person” i’m just making sure you have looked at the other side of the coin, and i just had an example to show it, thats all.
Thats my past and thats what i’ve learnt from and moving on from.
I think that the conclusion here is not to get too hung up on structuring the perfect relationship and concentrate on applying good biblical principles into daily life with everyone.
A or B is all well and good Bec… but eventually X=A or X=B. Never both simultaneously… which also answers the second marriage after death question.
Relationships are so much more complicated than Year 7 algebra anyway. I think if we are intentional about the way we live and the way we treat other people, then the answers to these kind of questions will become apparent over time in our lives, rather than in the form of mathematicised equations on the internet.