I was finishing up dishes from what I’ve dubbed the stinky pasta meal – it was seriously not nice, I hope Mum doesn’t make it again, maybe I should’ve said something, and Laura comes out and starts asking me to watch some medical show on TV with her at 10pm. I said, “Um, maybe no” and she did one of her mock crankies and stamped around tantrum like, “Why do you have to be so self disciplined!” It was quite funny (Had my head in the fridge by then) and was laughing at her. That same head, slowed down by the scientifics of anti-heat induced royalty (google: toast king now) is saying, haha yeah right, you’ll go in your room Bec and waste those hours on msn, blogging or doing other such things. It was however a strange thing to hear come out of my sisters mouth. She is perhaps more observant than I thought.
Its quite strange the impressions you slowly gather of yourself. I honestly don’t really know how I come across to people. (Subtle hint for you to tell me sometime)
Several situations lately have entirely surprised me. The other night when I was with the Jess’s (not Jess Rae) I felt old. Okay it’s not hard really to feel mature around them as well… but I felt totally alien from them and three billion times more at home when Jess and Belle showed up, despite knowing Jess C reasonably well. It’s brilliant to hang around people your age (maturity/mentally). That sounds really quite nasty and I don’t intend it to, hope you slightly understand what I’m getting at. How miss being challenged, made to think by someone other than myself or some text I read somewhere. As to self impression I guess it was this shot of, “Wow maybe Bec (laugh here) is quite competent of doing the whole adult thing.”
I have often set myself up, been set up to be this introverted, shy blah etc. who has trouble saying anything when I have nothing to say which is a lot of the time as part of me doesn’t understand the phenomenon of small talk. There are certain situations where I totally do not care. This has got a lot to do with control, I’m fairly sure of it. So at uni next week I do not think I will find it too much of a hassle socially. Sure I’ll probably get the new blues once or twice, but everyone else is on this same footing. I introduced myself with very minimal qualms today to a girl doing *BIM didn’t have much time, but yeah it was fine. Thats not to say some people aren’t more intimidating than others. But contrast that with church stuff where there established understandings of who is friends with whom (so it seems) I slide into my box where I can critique in my own brain and find it SO much effort to do the, “Hi, I don’t know you, you don’t know me.” thing. I really really like the feel of uni. 😉 ask me that again in a couple of weeks when I start having to do work.
I think sometimes I’m quite strange. There’s a huge quirk streak in me, that comes out particularly when I’m alone (and probably when I’m around other people). I was in the backyard after walking Job and see this bit of wood that looks like giraffe legs, I snapped it and made it have a head which was a bit too long so it morphed into this Crocodile with a giraffe neck and legs. I amuse myself far too easily. After that I dropped it on the ground and it broke.
It’s almost 10pm now, I might go watch with Laura afterall, then again…
*Bachelor of Interactive Media shall now be refered to as BIM as it saves a fair bit of finger usage and they call it that anyway. Bec the BIM student… might take off. Hannah dubbed me, “She of the glasses” the other day. I’ve always come to the conclusion that nicknames need to be shorter than your actual name for them to ever take off properly. Rebecca is good but Bec is easier.
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