How are you? Oh you’re gagging what’s wrong?! argh!

You will notice the new design, if you haven’t yet get off your rss feed and get in here! Thanks a billion John. Please let me know if anything still looks wrong – because it wasn’t perfect for me at uni, but looks fine from home.

check out My Friend the Chocolate Cake – bought their cd today.
also saw Weather Man – I don’t know what to think, but I came out slightly depressed.

I picked up the Purpose Driven Life where I’d left off about a month ago. I seem to read it when I’m severely lacking inspiration and it sometimes turns out to be oddly relevant. It also drives me slightly insane and I end up spending a lot of time talking in my head or scowling at the things that happen to be annoying me at that present moment. Or at least thats what it did last night.

Chapter 18, centred around Galatians 6:2

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

And it was a bit like, Bah yeah right I really don’t want to do that right now. I just got off the computer because I’m sick of hearing about people’s issues because sometimes they should just deal with them and things aren’t so bad and some of them are genuine and quite bad but sometimes I’d rather not know, sometimes I’m just worn out.

I really don’t want to have to ask or even hear the “How are you?” question at the moment. It’s such a shallow courtesy.

I’d like a bit of genuine.


  1. Anonymous said:

    I’m so sorry if I come across like that bec

    March 28, 2006
  2. said:

    i’m sorry bec if it sounded like a shallow courtesy.

    i really do like to know how my friends are going, also to know if there is any way that i can support them.

    March 29, 2006
  3. said:

    well i thought about the comment i just made, and you dont need to hear my appologies or justifications.

    but i’m hear if you need to blast off any thought, hurts or emotions at any time.

    March 29, 2006
  4. said:

    bec, i think perhaps, the reason people tell you of their problems and issues is because they sense they can trust you. you are what is seen as a “safe person”. you tell the truth (even if it is bluntly sometimes), and you are willing to give your opinion.

    many people are unsure as to how to breach “genuine” topics, with anyone, let alone someone who they respect and admire. so the “how are you?” question comes into it. yes, it is just the thing to say, but why dont you suprise them by giving an honest anser. something beyond the “good”, “tired” or “yeah, ok” responses i hear from so many people…

    i understand that you get worn out, and you have your own stuff to deal with. but obviously you have earnt peoples trust enough for them to tell you their problems. thats not an easy thing to do you know…

    (just some random thoughts… not to guilt you into feeling any certian way, but just my response to your post. and you said you wanted good comments a while back..)

    March 29, 2006
  5. said:

    Refreshingly honest Bec. This is what I like about blogs. Yours is no exception.

    March 29, 2006
  6. said:

    yes i have heard of my friend the chocolate cake and i like em

    we’ve got the album Brood… released in 1994 as i just looked at the site. i havent heard ANY of their other stuff. which CD did u get?

    and yeah i really do like them. (in case you asked that again) i sometimes randomly feel the urge to listen. it reminds me of sitting in the car in like year 7/8 because thats when dad woulda listened to it, and had it in the car.

    March 29, 2006
  7. said:

    To carry this a bit further (and thanks for comments, but please don’t concern yourself too much – you said it well in your second post tony)

    Sam you said, “but why dont you suprise them by giving an honest answer.”
    Where I am now I dont really have too much of a problem with giving an honest answer its when every single person asks and if you keep on detailing things it just gets a bit fake, a bit ‘wow this is me, everything is either great or maybe not so good you need to know all about it right now because I HAVE to unburden myself upon another person and another and another.’ that’s what wears me out. This is the part where I hate msn. It has a lot of good points but yes. The same goes for some small group situations.

    March 29, 2006
  8. said:

    Getting really controversial…

    Funny how the obligatory “how are you?” and then the expected D&M response are most often seen in “church culture” influenced Christian relationships. I don’t want to draw too much of a distinction there, or to bag it out…

    Sometimes it makes me wonder how introspective we need to be when enquiring as to each other’s wellbeing. Personally, I have a few key people who would know if I was struggling. While a “how are you?” from a friend is appreciated in its sentiment, I tend to think of the response as more of a relationship-building exercise for mutual benefit (and adjust my response accordingly) rather than feel obliged to spill my guts.

    I think I’ve made partial sense. Hopefully Bec will blog further on the topic.

    Btw – Any chance you could turn off word verification Bec? If you’re not getting much spam, you’ll save us all from having to use it on every comment we post.

    March 30, 2006

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