I am very drained, very tired and I have a headache that’s been plaguing me most of today.
Tonight, Peter was sick so didn’t show up to do anything w/ Young Adults so Isobelle opted for everyone chuck a question in that we wanted to discuss and we’d pull one or two out and see how it went. It worked extremely well. The first two questions interrellated and the others that followed all in some way drew back to them – excluding the few plain stupid ones.
Community, suprisingly enough. Maybe it’s that time where it’s all drawn together with a little closure for me, I’ve harked on about the issue for over a year now – longer. I hope that the up coming camp ends up being very ‘community’ orientated, in simply the way camps do. The closeness that comes on camps is desireable but I’d like it to be continued.
I discovered something curious tonight, in talking about vulnerability and community. My whole aim of last year’s YITS was to discover that community type thing again – fairly sure I’ve talked about that. Yet my biggest issue last year was in vulnerability, it’s bizarre, which reminds me, I never did share my ‘mid-year’ camp experience. Perhaps it was Gods roundabout way of letting me know there was more than being just a group of people that wind up together. We have to be willing to give a little in order for it work to it’s best and fullest.
Putting yourself on the line is no easy thing. Sometimes its as big an effort to speak up when you don’t know what will come out of your mouth is even very comprehensible or worthwhile as it is to spill on some major life predicament. Trust, trust, trust.
I could say if we managed to trust people we might have more faith in trusting God, but I’ve always found it far less of an issue in trusting God then people. It’s a funny thing though, because if we are trusting God – shouldn’t we then have no fear from putting ourselves out there? Ahh roundabouts for the mind aren’t the best thing at this time of night.
Regardless of all the nargon jargon, please could you pray that I have a really positive time away, I think it might just even mean slowing down and getting that break. I’m a bit on the upper end of burn-out with a few things, I have no motivation and have been feeling pretty drained. This Solomons stuff too, for the situation over there but also for those of us who have to sit at home and watch as something we really do have close ties to falls apart. I thought I could do the whole bystander thing, but it hits closer then that.