What I gained through drawing, I lost to music and books – now writing, thoughts, words, song, gush, music, praer and yes, books still. My refuges from teh stress of life. Perhaps that’s why I don’t draw anymore, maybe that’s what we use our talents/hobbies for? De-stressing.
A time, a moment to forget that you’re fed up with whatever, whoever – a place of escape… a pity we don’t focus on the prayer, talk to God, chat to God aspect of it more.

You aren’t going to resolve anything any way if you just shut out hte world for a little while. Pushing the problem to one side doesn’t work, eventually you have to return to reality. Prayer is the best – focus on God, then the problem/issue. God is good!

I got incredibly excited today.

I’ve been writing an essay on ‘My 5 Principles of Living’ and it’s forced me to go back and explore some of the things I value, some of the lessons I’ve learnt. I am finally begining to see and utilize some of my percieved weaknesses as strengths.
2 Corinthians 8:12 – “For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have.”
I will post it when it is written.

Anyway, this led me to go back and find some of my random scribblings from mid 2004, early 2005. I was just blown away at what stuff I put down, what I struggled with then and how I expressed it. A few in particular stood out to me, and for the matter of exploring where I’ve come from I’ll put some up here, under: Archived 🙂 and their respective titles.

It’s difficult to believe that it is still only April.

I asked that God begin to show me little things and have come to realise that we miss a vast number of them conciously or not.
In Creative Living (CL) Warwick was on about the ‘dance’ with the Spirit. Basically keep in tune – in step with God. We watched a short segment in class from (the movie) a Knights Tale. Where it was a 1-2-3 count. Amusing – a bit of a strange idea if you ask me. However, this morning was reading Romans 8:5 “…those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.”
It caught my eye because the word accordance was split and the lower line read: dance with the Spirit.
It also triggered a memory of a few days ago where Emily randomly laughed at the part in a Knights Tale – the 1-2-3 dance segment and I did not think then back to what Warrick said/showed us.

So an example to me of the little things God does – his purpose, his nature – to breach time, own time and have control over it, and the promise and answer of prayer to notice the little things God does.

We miss so much. If only we continually had our eyes open.

much of this was a personal reflection to God on some music, on how it triggered memories.

I dont think I’ll post this.

God took me, chose me and let me live.

that sums up the enormity of what I tried to say and still falls far short just like every other time.

Saying that… I’d be tter write here what I wrote today. Ah the irony, I just happened to have a writing splurge and do two full pagers.

morning 22/4/05

I’m doing the breakfast thing again. I was wrecked last night, just after work – however that’s a pitiful excuse because I got on the computer and was on until late.
I finished my music ‘week off’. I’m glad I had the determination to go through with it. I nearly stuffed it up but at the last minute refused to take my diskman in my bag to work. The time I thought I’d struggle alot was the trip home. As it turns out Geoff and Age took me to Ringwood station, can’t help wondering God if you were in that.
It was hard. Something I’d not like to do frequently. As jas put it, “I’d go insane” – nearly did. You I guess have to learn to fill your time so that you don’t notice – as much.

My aims fr doing the week off music were: to get some headspace. I think that happened to an extent, my awareness that I think my life through songs – let them do the thinking for me was a big factor in doing this – also the fact that I can use my own brain for praising God.
Thinking/singing songs is a fantastic way to connect with God but certainly not the only way. I got time to do that. And the volume -if you can call it that, of stuff I thought through on the train yesterday was staggering. Seemingly little things but nevertheless important before they become or became big things.
It was hard but worthwhile.

God as I bring or rather come back to ‘normality’ with music and the busyness I self-create – help me to slow down, to use my head and thing things through for myself.

Thankyou for your huge part in that small challenge of self discipline and thankyou for the many little ways that time was used and the things you showed me, did for me in helping make it a little easier.

You are a good God, full of love and full of justice, honesty, power and truth.
Jesus how much more self discipline and patience must it have taken to go through dying for us.
Thank you for the enormity of that sacrifice in comparision to my own which is so small it is laughable. You are a God of self discipline and patience. Let me live with a mirrored patience and never forget to thank you.