God, you’re wonderful!

I could leave it at that because there is nothign I could say to match a fraction of who you are but ot show myself how you came through for me, for records sake…

Began the day, did not particularly want to get out of bed and I lay there thinking, half worrying and trying to give it to you – almost made myself late.
‘It’ being talking to Sara, Kat and Tilla.
Anyway, was on the ‘Caf’ this morning and I knew that would be a good chance. I let Jo and Katie know – firstly because Kat was late and I was ho-humming in my head whether or not to bring it up if she wasn’t around.
Just before first break Jo gave me a note. Encouragement – I needed it.

Caf duty. I talked to Kat first, she was in a bit of a rush – I don’t know how well I said it to her, I think she got the gist (how lame that sounds) the conv. was cut short.
I talked more indepth with Sara while we did dishes. She understood completely. Talked openly with her.

I should have perhaps gone to Tilla first. Strangely she was the one I was most afraid of bringing it up with, I guess I was concerned that she wouldn’t understand or run with my descision.

Ah God, it’s funny how you work things out so strategically. I ended up sitting next to her in Gathering with no other YITS’ers within earshot which is a bit unusual. Anyway, I spent Gathering psyching myself up. And it was fine.

I think I got too concerned about this for my own good. I guess foresight told me that it could go horribly wrong. How much of that falls back to self-esteem and the need for other’s respect?!
Thank you for using Katie to tell me to talk and not write a letter, for Jo’s note and both of their encouragement.

God you made it work.
You planned this day from start to end.
Thank you.

fear
1. A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger.
2. A state or condition marked by this feeling
3. A feeling of disquiet or apprehension

en·cour·age
1. To inspire with hope, courage, or confidence; hearten.

cour·age
1. The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.

General Life YITS

Too much to think about, pray about, do etc…

First, Psalm 57.
Opened Bible tonight, read that and felt God saying to me – stop don’t read any more tonight, just think about it. So I did, after a mini debate with myself: ‘would God want me to stop and not read any more?’
Simply put, the chapter is about crying out for God’s help, his love, faithfulness and mm… to me, finding peace in him among the crazyness of the world, or in tonight’s case – my mind.
God is first, slow down and keep things in perspective.

My big challenge for tomorrow and a concern for tonight is yet again based around these silly accountability groups. I am doing stuff with Katrina and Jo now and basically I need to talk to Sara and Kat to let them know what’s going on and frankly I am semi freaked because I don’t have a clue what to say. I do not want to offend them or yeah, put out a ‘rejection’ idea. I love them to bits. They are just not girls I normally hang around with.
Deep down it feels a bit of a cop out. I should probably first go talk to Tilla. Ah dear, God I need the words and just a little (to understate) – a lot of courage. I am a wimp.

Thank you God for Katrina and Jo. Abba, I’ve wanted friends, close friends for such a long time. Please Lord let this word. I want it so bad….

“Be exalted O God, above the heavens, let your glory be over all the earth” – Ps 57:11

And there, I have far less to think about than I thought. God you hold tomorrow just like you do every other day. Let me know your presence.

General Life YITS

Its strange how things all seem to fall into place at the same time.

I have a job. First application, First Interview, First Job. Full time reception/admin and some design work at an interesting business. The people I met were friendly. The only real draw back is that I have to travel 1.5hrs by train/tram to get there. So this is during the holidays – I start on the 6th of Jan. I can only hope and pray that it continues into next year.

Uni courses, I feel pretty good about it all, none of my friends are going through crisies atm. God is good.

Im not freaking out about friendships/realtionships… it seems right now that God has it all completely under control. He’s given me patience, hope and peace.

Yeah things are never completely smooth sailing. Time frames the portrait of change, and God uses that. I have changed a phenominal amount since last year – since three years ago.

Christmas this year although it doesn’t feel like Christmas is a better season than last year, and although its not completely the season ‘to be jolly’ – the sadness isnt there anymore.

General Life Uni Work

Well, I wrote this down – must have been on the 15th. and I think I might just copy it.

Coming home from Grandma’s, was looking at the Christmas lights. I think most of them are pretty ugly – gaudy. Mum makes a big fuss over them. Really the nicest ones are the simple ones. No santas, no flashing pulsating lights, not in excess. Anyway, I looked up and the sky is brilliantly clear – stars. It sort of struck me that, that’s God’s perfect Christmas decoration. I mean really it’s perfect. 🙂 God has good taste. Even better, these decorations aren’t taken down, they are there all year round. Its a cool reminder, that wow. what an amazing gift we have been given and why dont we take that time ‘not just at Christmas’ to remember.

Hannah I doubt that you’ll ever read this, but this is what I was thinking when I was saying how I dont like various decorations. You calling me ‘the Grinch’ had a purpose.

Christianity General Holidays Life