Category: <span>Relationships</span>

Published November 1, 2007 by

An introspective moment

thursday-birds.jpgI had to laugh, someone found my blog today while searching for: “Are the Flinders Ranges boring?”

I wound up tracking their search back to the post I wrote post-holidays a few years back. It made for quite an interesting read. I don’t write super-descriptively, intentionally most of the time but I must of been having a plug at it. Some of my writing is really quite interesting and beautiful… anyway, I’ll get off my high horse. If you care to read (it’s quite long) and be amused by what a melancholic soul I was back then then, you’d better make the trek back here.

Thank goodness for change. One thing has not, and it is quite disappointing:

“And in typical Bec fashion, must criticize the curtains for their lack of taste, being old lady flower print. Bad, bad habit, that I should work on breaking, I’m always looking to improve, overly quick to pick a negative – I do it everywhere.”

I shall have to do something about that.

It’s interesting tonight, because here I am with just me. It is such a rare thing. I cooked enough dinner for about four people. I decided later I had way too much food but anyone I asked was busy or both busy and vegetarian. Ha!

Engagement throws you into some kind of whirlpool of anti-introspection. You go from busy to insane. It’s a different way of living and it’s a funny thing trying to work out how to live it when you aren’t even really considering it. I love Geoff to the core and wouldn’t change anything but I do think that I need to now begin to understand growth in different terms.  My introspection has gone bust – spectacularly and beautifully in terms of time.  Selfishness is a fluro blip when there’s another concerned and at times you feel shockingly human. Your growth is more in your doing than in your thinking and in the evidence and through encouragement of another person. I need to let the internal beg continue to take stock and enjoy the moment.

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Published October 28, 2007 by

Yep this is him

Relationships

Published August 28, 2007 by

Online Communities

Let me be really rude and plug something I wrote a year or so ago – just in case it is helpful to anyone. Contextually, this was written for a disscusion board type of online community. I don’t get enough comments to really have to apply it to this blog but I might do to keep things in mind. Oh, and I never did finish The Purpose Driven Life.

How can we make an online community work?

In the lead up to this new Gush I’ve been thinking about online community and how that should operate.

I happened to pick up the “Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Chapter 19 talks about cultivating community, which believe is something intrinsic to living life as a Christian in light of a Trinitarian, relational God.

Warren outlines nine characteristics of Biblical fellowship:

Authenticity – sharing true feelings
Mutuality – encourage each other
Sympathy – support each other
Mercy – forgive each other
Honesty – speak the truth in love
Humility – admit our weaknesses
Courtesy – respect our differences
Confidentiality – not gossip
Frequency – make group a priority

It’s difficult to translate literally across into an online setting as it’s such a left field thing to do. Authenticity for example must come with some kind of restraint in regards to safety of the user, humility is different in light of a wide audience and frequency may be valued or it simply be another means of procrastination.

Might I suggest the following – nine similar characteristics with an online slant aimed at active forum users. Which means you!

Realness – I’m myself, I share the faith-life questions that I’m coming across in my own life in order to open discussion so that I and the wider group of forum users can benefit. I am only open in giving examples to the extent to which I am comfortable. No one can force me to share anything, however if shared, it shall be treated according to the other characteristics below.

Encouragement – I can expect to find support from other users, but this also means that I will actively seek outside ‘offline’ encouragement where possible as I acknowledge that people online can only offer ‘so’ much from their distant position. (See Matt 25:44-45; 1 Cor 12:4-7)

Understanding – If you happen to be willing to share something it will be treated with respect, users will do their utmost to offer support by means of biblical/experiential advice or sharing of similar experiences, yet you should be seeking offline relationships as they far surpass the online. This is also a good place to ask that you be wary of offloading everything onto one person (a common thing on msn), it’s okay to share but each must to an extent carry their own burden. (See Gal 6:1-5)

Patience – tempers and differences flair on forums, we all know that. It’s great to have a lively discussion yet when it reaches the point of smashing someone’s opinion into the ground that’s not acceptable, work through differences in a mature manner even if you are on the ‘receiving end’ of the hurtful comments. Bring unresolved or difficult to resolve conflict to the forum leaders. (See 1 Cor 13; James 1:19-21: 1 Peter 3:8-9)

Tact – gently correct, you’ll never win someone over by pushing a personal opinion onto them, biblical backing is the best way to present a ‘Christian Perspective’, this isn’t to say you can’t present your own but be prepared to listen to those who have sought God and his word on the issue. (See 2 Tim 4:1-5, Matt 18:15-17)

Humility – be ready to own up to where you might have over stepped the line, better still, don’t overstep it in the first place! Treat other users with respect. (See Phil 2:1-4)

Respect – a big one in the online world! Respect differences. Read the posts before you thoroughly before condemning their opinion give them a fair go, clarify what you think they are saying if you are unsure. (See Proverbs 18:13)

Confidentiality – the reality is that an open forum is not a place for confidentiality, yet this is still imperative when the issue is not your own, ask before sharing that ‘other persons’ story, mentioning names etc if they say no, don’t share it.

Frequency – This is totally up to you, I think it’s great if you can positively contribute regularly, however this is online, and just a tiny fraction of life. This is not a typical community. We’d love to ‘get to know you’ but you are free to come and go as you please, you are not bound in any way to stay. (See Acts 2:42-47; Heb 10:25)

Finally, if you could prayerfully consider your participation in the new boards and keep the discussion going around the kind of community you want to see happen that would be great.

I’m looking forward to seeing what comes of this and what God has in store for us!

Rebecca

Blogging Ministry Relationships

Published August 7, 2007 by

Selfish contraception

babymother.jpgGeoff has started discussing contraception over on the geoffreport, this has sparked some decent discussion.

The long and short of it for me without having done any intense research besides a few thoughts, reading Rob Bell’s Sex God, a few other marriage books and thinking about basic practicalities, is that post-January, I/we will opt for something slightly more definite than Natural Family Planning (and whatever methods with long names fit there) for the next while.

Devoid of theological, moral or otherwise ideals, this is simply the most practical and wins the question. I have 3 more years of uni and would like some semblance of having a stab at a job in the the real world doing what I love.

I’ll/we’ll consider the ramifications of whatever ‘sin’ we’re commiting by using the pill/equivalent when it is more convenient. *Someones jaw drops at the blatant selfishness*

By the way.

*I don’t think using the pill is a sin
*I don’t want a huge number of children
*I do one day want kids
*If by some ‘accident’ I have a kid before I finish uni – so be it, I’m sure it’ll be wonderful (But it’s a scary thought)
*I am not at all adverse to looking into other ‘methods’ when it becomes a bit more suitable

If you would like to read things about childbirth/contraception/midwifery, my sister Laura writes ALL about it (Lets even put a ‘mature content’ warning on it).

Christianity Relationships

Published August 5, 2007 by

Incredible genetics and a bit of a overview

violet.jpgSomething’s afoot when you catch yourself analysing why Violet – the daughter of Mr. Incredible and Elasto-girl, has black hair when the genetics of blonde hair and brown make that highly improbable and then remember that it’s a cartoon and doesn’t matter and she probably dyed it anyway…

It seems that a late one last night has caught me, or maybe it’s writing deprivation and my imagination (or twisted logical brain) is taking over?

I’d be more dramatic, but I can’t be bothered. It’s 10:30pm afterall, and I really didn’t get much sleep last night.

So. Much to catch up on.

That list said I wanted to talk about:

Moving trials and triumphs – Geoff has covered most of this, except for the fact that he was throwing up on the day he was moving, which made things altogether worse. Lets say it was (all up) an interesting and valuable experience for our relationship on all kinds of levels.

Dresses and successes – I sometimes get in my head to do crazy things just to prove that I can, this is reflected in that I chose to study physics in Yr.11 after getting an E in Yr.10, and in the fact that I went out and bought a dress pattern and material and hand sewed a dress this week, just because.

This is an expensive experiment and if you’re in control of your senses at all, I don’t recommend it. I do recommend it as a good time filler while you are waiting around for your internet to start magically working again. As for the dress, it is 90% finished and the straps just needs sewing on, along with the hem and a small alteration to make the bottom of the zip sit better at the back. When I can be bothered and it is daylight, I will post a photo – because I’m a little bit pleased with myself.

The Simpsons and fun – easy. See the Simpsons Movie and you’ll know why people everywhere are running around singing, “Spider pig, spider pig…” you’ll also hear Ralph say something that I found incredibly funny but won’t repeat for the sake of a potentially young (or naive) blog audience. I am a very new Simpson’s convert as I missed seeing any of it growing up overseas and I now can’t get enough.

Eagle vs. Shark and hilarity – Night out in the city at the Film Festival’s Eagle vs. Shark a New Zealand made film. This well spent evening was the endeavor of Jess my movie friend. I spent the entire time laughing. Some have compared it to Napoleon Dynamite and others more to the Castle. I hate the Castle. There were bits that took a little too long but it could all be forgiven due to the seagull moment that made it and makes me fairly sardonic.

P.s. If it gets famous, then I’ll have you know we got to hear the director and lead actress answer questions at the end. (I would’ve rather gone and gotten food),

Keys and stupidity – Geoff got me keys cut for me and Paul for the new house as I was to let Paul in. I ran outside to show Pauly where to park, and locked both sets of keys inside along with my wallet, bag… We then had to drive to Glenferrie (~1hr) to get the original set of keys. Not my most intelligent of moments.

Youth and talking – Ages ago I was convinced by Geoff to run a whole Friday night youth thing. So my turn came (the other night). I’d left planning late but I pulled off a big Q/A about communion and why we have it (and the more finite points). I had a small patch of blah’ing on nearer the end which was okay but could’ve gone better. I think the kids went home talking about Jehovah’s witnesses (Don’t use something like that in an illustration next time!) rather than communion, but oh-well. I think overall it went well.

Right. Now my blogging can commence again as normal in competition with uni, which starts back tomorrow and the 153ish days or so I have left to plan this wedding.

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