I’m tossing up whether I should ‘make this known’ so to speak.
Blogs are well, meant to have an audience.
I tread a fine line sometimes in sharing too much. Can you share too much? An overshare? Reveal too much of the ‘you’ to the wrong or to any person?
How much of my ‘God conversation’ (the stuff that ends up on paper) should be ‘public’ if at all?
and how true is this to me? I write sometimes and after rereading (journal) stuff it does not sound like me. Fluff and bubble – embarassing writing, repitition. Then it makes me wonder – how much do I know myself. Those words have to come from somewhere.
I would not want people to percieve me as someone not genuine. Because I use journal writing as time with God (interspersed with just thinking and stuff) – I don’t want to give an ‘over spiritual’ idea of me- even by mentioning that here… :I stuff up eaisly. I am impatient person, who gets angry, frustrated, annoyed, jealous and can be pretty mean. I love God with my all – but it is not a perfect relationship my end, ha, I would like it to be.
To be genuine, that’s the challenge, that’s why I haven’t shared something like this before. I am afraid. Two sides to it- that I’ll wear another mask ‘a mock genuine’, and the other side which I can never quite put my finger on. That longing I guess that we all have to be ‘fully known’ but too ashamed or whatever.
To you who reads this. When, if I get the guts to share. Keep me accountable, challenge my thoughts, my words.
I hope a little of me comes through, if it does not, what purpose has it served except to colour-in another beaming white mask eagerly waiting decoration.