And yesterday’s topic comes up today. I should be starting to know you’ll do that God. Why don’t we expect these things? CL was a blur most of today, but Intro to C. Belief – that’s where things hit home… its usually the other way around.

Rowan read Eustaces dragon story from the Voyage of the Dawn Treader (CS Lewis). About the dragon scales been peeled away. His attempt to do taht own his own. We were looking at salvation and R drew a diagram that just made a heap of sense. At first it was just one U moving from creation>fall/birth to sin>exile>death>Jesus>life>salvation/forgiveness> etc… > new creation. Anyway, in further exploring sanctification the U became U with lots of smaller U’s. The small U’s being areas where we have maybe been through stuff before, but haven’t quite got a reality yet of what it means. It hit home taht this is what’s happening. My arrow is labelled ‘past’ although I dont really know why. However, this is part of santification, part of the process and for that I am thankful.
Funny how the obvious things haven’t been lately, and the smaller things so blatantly clear.

1 Cor 1:18 … we are continually being saved. As Eustaces dragon scales hurt when they were ripped from his body, it’s not a painless process. It needs to happen.

I am being saved
And my hope is in my creator who is working in me
To renew me over and over.
Tirelessly he walks with me through the valleys
And will be with me until his purpose for me is complete
And I am made full and fully known.
Even then he will always be,
My strength, my hope, my God.


God I’m stuck in this rut again. I get busy, stressed, my mind is working overtime trying to compensate. It’s so good God to see this stuff, to be shown heaps. Please, I need the environment for it to sink in.
This is life God. Its so rushed. What happened to be still and know God? Is seeing this awesome work part of taht? I wish God – and I want to know more o fyou. I’m being pulled sideways from both directions. I don’t understand! I don’t even know why I’m continually frustrated with myself.
I’m overstepping, overthinking. God I need more of you. Help me to stop. So much God, its as if I only get the slightest taste before I’m pressed an pulled to the next thing. It would be nice if more made sense. What doesn’t feel right? Take this hurry God, let your voice of truth speak into my life, help me to stop demanding results, plans, goald, you know what’s best for me. Make knowing that a firm reality in my life.

“O my strength, I sing praise to you; you O God are my fortress, my loving God.” Ps 59:17

‘still you hear me when I’m calling… you told me who I am. I am yours’ – Casting Crowns

Ah God, where is the hope when the frustration knocks boldly at the front door – why are the good things compressed into this tight place in my mind? When I sit to think the strugges express themselves inelequoently and flood my mind. Its a viscious cycle. Why does the frustratedness feel stronger than the peace, the joy – because that is there it just battles to show it’s face. Help me Lord to hold on tight to that joy, take captive my every thought. Help me not to get bogged down in attempting to sort out my own problmes, to complete task after tast, to slow the busy. I only need you.

forgive me God. You slipped to second place again. Keep first.

looking back… Romans 8:20-21, frustration is a good thing to push us forward.