First (unabridged)

The first of June. The first day of winter.
Would I say things are normal, are satisfactory?
That the word peace applies to my live. No not in it’s entirity. Yet the fragments are begining to settle. I am in a more secure place than where I was. Complacency I don’t want. I don’t mind temporary satisfaction with limited thought. But no, I don’t think I’ve stopped exploring areas of growth, just perhaps God’s bringing a slow down capacity to it. It’s all very good to have your world flipped on end for a while, to be shaken and stretched. I guess as humans we have our limits as to what we can take (maybe even the good/growth). I’m sure God understands what we can take in and learn before the stretching reaches the uncomfortable (beyond the learning uncomfortable). I have torture instrument images in my head, ha, but I think that’s a bit violent.

Can I equate ‘peace’ with busy? Yes. I have way too much to do before the end of semester, there are so many other things I can, or would rather be doing. Peace in the fact that, I am beginning to be vastly more comfortable in being myself around YITS people. There is a certain level of trust there now. That they’ll accept you for who you are.
It’s not to say I am impressed with everyone. __ in particular. Help me to love her. To see past her attitudes, conversation topics….

The ‘slow down’. The temporary, or different perspective on self evaluation. To drop that and let it lie where it falls. To relearn the concept of knowing God and not being intentional in moulding self (to some extent). The Bible study thing came up. Reading again. Thank you God for the ways you’ve reminded me. Started back last night. Realised how much I miss it.
Be my motivation.
Be first.

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