When you go looking

Right… how to start this?

Last night I had a minor epiphany, more the fact that I hit, “Wow, I’d better do something about this” and in effect worked out what ‘some of this was’.

Stop being cryptic! I’ll share a little from some ramblings and attempt to explain myself a little more shallowly (seeing as too many people read this now) than the soul baring of the other night.

“I wonder why I always try and compartmentalise ‘what God is trying to teach me’. Why I limit it to one or two specific things instead of understanding that perhaps he’s working on molding me as a whole…”

From this point I worked my way into explaining to myself that I don’t think what God’s on about with me any more is character formation stuff – it’s moved beyond that. Sure that stuff’s always going to be there, going to be happening but less specifically. From now (current point in time) it’s not the point of looking at who I am in light of who God is, but simply at who he is.

This is not so much the ‘soul baring’ stuff, but it plays into how I am viewing my life at the moment.

To be honest, boredom plays a very very large role in much of everything at the moment. It’s a springboard existance from ‘one look foward to thing’ to the next… a trap that is unfortunately familiar. I’ve talked about the difficulties of me and enthusiasm many times before – this is another facet really.

Life with God shouldn’t be boring.

The past day and a half has been pretty exciting in a way, in that I’ve found this desire that I believe I’ve had actually for quite a long time, but I guess I’ve started acting on it. To really seek out who God is and to maybe take a hold of some of the adventure (almost) that it gives by doing so.

I shall be keeping some of the following in mind:

One thing I ask of the Lord,
This is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
-Ps. 27:4

“But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.” – Deut 4:29

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” – Ps.63:1

“But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, “Let God be exalted!” – Ps. 70:4

“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’” – Acts 17:26-28

“And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.” 1 Chronicles 28:9

Whether much of the above is comprehendable, I’m not sure, but your prayers would be appreciated.


  1. said:

    “Life with God shouldn’t be boring.”

    Ecclesiastes 3:1,9-14

    1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: …

    9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

    May 27, 2006
  2. said:

    boring indicates – unhappy and discontent though.

    May 27, 2006
  3. said:

    And there’s boring because you’re doing stuff that God’s called you to that is just a “toil”, and there’s boring because you’re just floating around like a flailing ninny (to quote someone I respect highly) and waiting around for something to happen.

    Love reading the way you’re thinking Bec, always forces me to think a bit too.

    May 27, 2006
  4. Beth said:

    Hey mate…got here thru Burkie’s blog 😉
    I want you to know…this post spoke to me so much. I love how honestly and clearly you write.
    You have such a beautiful heart. I don’t have any words of wisdom…but maybe God has just lead me here so I can pray for you 🙂 And I know this sounds so cliche (sorry!) but I know how you feel and you have opened a new world of thought for me 😉
    It’s kind of exciting though, don’t you think? Seeking Jesus’ true heart. Mate…it’s unreal to think of what we will find.
    As Christ moulds us into His beautiful daughters, may we honestly seek His precious heart and look to Him for all our needs.

    You are much appreciate Bee

    May 27, 2006

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