Author: <span>Rebecca Matheson</span>

Where to start? Today – what I’d been looking forward to for over a week. Exceptional day. ‘Boundries’ in Lifeskills. Becky S is fantastic – I wish they got her in more. Massage for Group Focus which was SO nice. Paired up with Katrina – that friendship is growing. Later Michael basically descided he didn’t like doing massage stuff with Mark… (some stupid blah about not being manly) and so Katie went over there and I got stuck with him. Didn’t mind, but K and I hardly got a chance to protest, it just happened. Katie did a better job.
Jess’s theory on the matter ‘they chose girls who don’t flirt’, in which case I don’t mind so much, because that shows wisdom on their behalf.

Anyway, boundries. I’d been waiting on this class.

“A boundry is something that keeps what belongs to me safe, it defines my responsibility and provides an opportunity for me to invite or decline people in.”

I’ve realised, after a conversation with ___ and one with ___ last night (well ok, more vents/rants and whatevers) that perhaps I’m taking too much gush responsiblity. Yes I did burn out that time when all the first Mon stuff came up – it was prty unique situation and understandable re: stress. Those few forced days off were the best thing. All this gush stuff although more subtle is directing me up the same alley. I will burn out if I keep taking it all on. An orchestra sounds better than a one-man-band – although that’s kind of an extreme metaphor it’s sometimes what it feels like.

I thought I was good at saying no. Maybe I need to re-evaluate and watch myself a bit more.

Galatians 6:2-5
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.

aside from being minorly disgusted at my Bible’s ‘studynotes’ which focussed only on the first part and disregarded the second…
‘for each should carry his own load’ v.5 We have just as much responsibility for ourselves. We can offer support etc… but that doesn’t me we have to put down our load to carry their all. Our attitudes, our behavior and our choices are all personal responisiblities.

In looking at boundries with others – strike the balance between challenging them and not going so far as to walk over there boundries. God, I’ve been at fault before in that. Please forgive me. Help me to understand when to stop. To not ask that extra question, to leave the probing to you.

A reminder to let my own boundries be known.

God please help me to establish healthy boundries in my life – show me what and where they need to be. Help me to slow down, to be disciplined in taking time out for you and using my other time appropriately. Help me to serve where I am not consumed by the serving, to know when to say ‘no, that’s too much’. To not trample other’s boundries, but use me to challenge them. Lord bring peole into my life to effectively challenge my own ineffective or inappropriate boundries.

Something that came up today. That you’ll match our effort – our initiative. I’d hardly say lots of this stuff lately has been all in my own strength. Not at all. You work through our desires and our pitiful efforts. I can do all this stuff and try to impliment change in my life but nothing would really happen.
This year – what’s it about? Growth? Recognising and resetting my boundries? Watching and experienceing your involvement in my life? Whatever it is, I want to thank you. It’s only May God, how much can happen in a short time.
You are mysterious God.
I don’t understand how you work, but I’m certainly glad you do.

Blah – really can’t cook. To quote mum, ‘the burning smell is your trademark’. What happened to my good meat pies, nice properly cooked cookies, cakes etc…? How annoying.

A Tuesday, never my favourite day. Practical Evangelism. annoying – debates, basically stuck with a horribl etopic, not enough research time and very few of our group willing to participate (or know where to start). I did not have much insentive, getting up in front of others even less so. At least I talked – probably crap, but yeah, I talked.

Rowan took our OT class as Glen T was away sick. Most insightful OT class so far, all about prophesy/the prophets.
I put a little though into that conversation I had with ___ a while back about prophesy. I am as yet unclear. I need to read more about it, talk more about it with someone.

Accountability group day. It’s fantastic hanging out with Katie and Jo. The question that seemed to get each of our hermit crabbed selves talking was, ‘what’s been most on your mind’ (or the Jo rephrase, ‘your headspace’).
I bought up the converstations thing. Really it’s been a fairly low key week – no major drama’s that my mind could think of then (or now), maybe if I read back I’ll find some. What more of a reality to check (to have forgotten) to live each day for the now, not to worry about tomorrow – it never comes afterall.

God please filter – no, flood my every day with your realities. Teach me so much more. Help me to stop and think and tell you of your greatness… and yet you intricately care for every aspect in my life. Thank you for friends. For conversations, the opportunity to learn and grow even when it seems kind of boring and dry.
Thank you Amazing holy God. You gave so much to save me, you chose to cover my guilt, my mistakes, my sinfulness. How can I thank you?
Too good Abba – I don’t deserve you.
Help me to learn how to listen to you.

A continuation of my ‘who is bec’ through 5 senses.
Sitting here with absolutely no thought into this one as yet, but I have time so why not.

Seeing things

… trying to work out things that I ‘see’ that I like, or hate etc… that aren’t just obvious, also what other angles you can come in on things.

big factor: design, I really like things to be aesthetically nice. From words, to art, to photographs, to scenery, to the way I have my room, to what kind of journal I use… and sadly the influence it has upon books I look at buying – although that can be sometimes overlooked.

I get annoyed when I see stores or books using crummy fonts (well known, or ‘grade 6 style’)… this could be partial ‘geek/nerd’ factor. see: ban comic sans
I frustrate people with having to ‘get it right’

General taste. it comes down to being selective, relatively minimalistic, and um… coordinated when called for 😛

Random things take my fancy 🙂 the terrace house with the orange door.
Particular trees.
Satistfying layouts… colour used effectively.

Specifics – (to like)

A clear, dark sky with stars

Bare green hills (‘rolling hills’ too cliched to use but yeah, them)

Flat of the outback, where you can do a 360 and see nothing but horizion, the small feeling you get.

Windflowers

Cows

Rain

Interesting people on trains – ‘the characters’

‘Borders’ – rows and rows and rows of books

The view over melbourne from Sky High or Burkes lookout

The fireplace at my grandparents and their horrible carpet

The plaque in my grandpa’s garden, ever overgrown, the words mostly worn.

Bed.

Specifics (to not like)

Pinkness, the overuse. Frills and bows, flowers.

The KFC in Bayswater – minimalistic is only good to a certain point.

Clothing with the brandname plastered across the front.

A sink full of dishes

…hmm thats about all I can think of.

Qu’s & A’s

– yes I don’t mind Fed Square, it looks good.
– yes I would re-do some of my room, had I the money or time
– no my taste doesn’t unfortunately make it into fashion – in that I am a practical/immitator. I take siblings for shopping advice. I don’t really have my own unique style
– yes I get unusual fascinations with things like, chairs, doors, fonts and colours… so. maybe its a little strange – let people think that.

enough.

We were discussing spiritual discipline in CL (Creative Living) today. It came about through a discussion of ‘being ready’ – the ‘watch and pray’ verse, somewhere in Matthew I think. A question also of: how much have you seen God at work in the stuff of your everyday life. Aside from stating my obvious response… ‘smile’ am I getting too used to this all coming up? mmm. Warwick mentioned ‘stillness’, which I though – oh yeah this is what is going to be the standout factor for me as I’ve been recognising taht I’m getting a little slack of late on setting aside time. So yes, it is important however, the following ‘listening to God’ was the notch up on the significant scale.

Again I had a conversation about this with other person (and I wrote: should I let him know how conviently God is using him? 🙂 )
It was a re-emphasis on the act of prayer – it being a two way thing, and chosing to listen and let God go first. I guess the biggest thing that jumped out of me here was reading ‘the word’ – which is an in your hand way to listen to God. Bible reading’s become really slack of late.

Ask God what does he want me to read. Do it. Have that interactive God conversation.

And that is a spritual discipline I need your help God to nail.

Christian Doctrine – interesting stuff about the sacraments (baptism/communion etc…) I spent the morning break… (thats about 40mins on a Monday) discussing stuff through with Rowan, Elyce, Dave, Nathan and Tom. I’m still not entirely sure…. it’s a hard concept. Too tired to think now.

Dawn’s 18th. Pancake Palour about 20-25 yits people there. Funny how conversation flows stacks easier with some than others. Ah… or maybe it’s because you had your hand in things there God… phenomenal reoccurance of answered prayer – even stuff I mention once. Thank you God for being the best listener, for knowing my subtleties, my every need before I ask.
Make yourself real to me as the greatest conversationalist. Relationship grows through communication. I think I’m missing part of that at the moment.