Category: <span>Christianity</span>

Published August 11, 2006 by

Doings and short-timed

To use another post to point out a ‘good read’,

this post over on Carolyn McCulley’s blog, Priorities and Decisions: Human Beings or Doings is worth some thought. I know my life has been feeling pretty insane due to ‘not enough time’ lately.

Some of my struggle with time is knowing what I want to be doing and what I have to do (like uni) and opting for doing what I’d rather be doing (because in a sense I can argue that it’s more important to who I am) and still not ever fully getting the worth out of the half hearted effort I put there – probably due to the fact that I’ve got all these other ‘tasks’ weighing over my head.

Or I start doing stupid things like pushing sleep further and further back, just so I can finish everything.

Unfortuantely although Beth and I have discussed the possibility of a 28hr day – it’s not going to work.

It’s easy to talk to God and get caught up in blah’ing out our busy lives to him or to others and not really make the effort to listen properly.

Someone on Wednesday night – I think Evie might’ve said that, perhaps we are really a lazy society. We work 5 days, we rest 2 days – regardless of religion (I am generalising of course). We were discussing the Sabbath principle – there doesn’t feel like a whole lot of time for any of that really. I fill my ‘days off’ with far, far too much.

Little things are starting to get to me, like the fact I haven’t sat down and really read/finished anything for almost a month.

On that fine note – I have another assignment due Wednesday. A big one. I’m trying to work out when I’m going to have the time. I skipped my one lecture again today so I could get some ebaying done, in hope to clear some more time for homework, but other things have come up and I’m still where I should’ve been at 11:00 this morning.

Christianity General Life

Published August 10, 2006 by

Up the creek

Threats towards my blogging come in several forms, usually somewhat like the following:

“Hurry up and post or else…”

“Your blog font is too small”

“You write too much”

I don’t know if this is seeking to redeem any of them, but as got mentioned today, people might start seriously thinking I’m missing so I decided I’d better post (IT’S ONLY BEEN ONE DAY!)

You will also notice, or the strain on your eyes will have lessened and I’m about to tell you why: the font has been upsized! Please feel free to comment on the betterment or the uglyness of this ‘trial choice’.

As for stating my case why I haven’t posted. I have an assignment due mid-day tomorrow which is still very much in the process of being completed (hence more procrastination on here). I have been getting home late, due to spending time with marvellous people, at least one of which I’d rather spend time with than blog.

I am sorely sorry I didn’t have some kind of recording device on me last night, because we were at young ad’s after and TimO/Geoff/Tom and I were in a group praying for eachother and talking some stuff through re: life. And Tim was doing his Mr. Analysis thing on what I’d just said and worded quite well where I am at. As for all of it, I’m still processing what I cannot grasp, and as a wise friend pointed out, perhaps it’s time for me to relinquish a bit more of that control (that’s a very big paraphrase).

When I’m sitting in my room or simply alone there are things people simply don’t see or I don’t let them see. From a vast number of really strange facial expressions, to reactions to events, news or otherwise, and reactions to say, something God shoves in my face.

So the following – if you’d care to have a sneak preview into a random Bec expression, had me saying, “wow, wow, wow” and looking like a fool, quite to myself especially as it was quite out of the blue.

“Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all he has done.” Colossians 2:7 (NLT)

What ‘letting my roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him’ exactly means for me I’m not so sure. Is it a two step phase? If so, where am I at the moment? The growing down? The drawing up?

Something I do recall being said the other night and something I’ve been getting the idea of, is that God is quite intentionally pushing me down a slightly different route to how I’m used to experiencing him/knowing him/loving him. It’s a bittersweet thing (more bitter than sweet) to kiss goodbye to my brain and intense thought workings and hand it over to the foreign arena of what I might dub, ‘the feeling zone’ or even simply: experience. So, I sort of know where things are at.

My question to God is: “I know I’m in the canoe… when can I have a paddle?”

(and the photo is simply an example of a weird facial expression, if you thought I was just making things up!)

Blogging Christianity General Life

Published August 8, 2006 by

Blue sky

I’m beginning to really enjoy my getting to uni a bit early on Tuesdays. I’m sitting in the corner cafe in an extremely decent chair which is doing wonders for my back (no I’m not being sarcastic).

Bloglines spat out a few good reads this morning which I think I’ll share.

Adi over on Donec Requiescat in Te has written something that I think is ‘nice’ – for want of a better word, about love. Here.

and…

Kat Coble over on Just Another Pretty Farce has pointed out something about understanding God. Here.

It’s a beautiful morning out there. Blue, blue sky. I have half an hour or so until my lecture, then it’s uni until 2pm or so.

I ran into Aydan and Natalie this morning (both from school). I missed Mel’s (Aydan’s Fiance) party last night and nearly didn’t go to catch up with some YITS people as I was pretty flat. Jess is housesitting, so we had it here. An interesting evening, mostly full of jokes (and not particularly the kind I really like) and a some sad attempts at kicking off something with a bit more depth. Clacy and Mark got there later and I managed to have a pretty decent chat to Mark while the others continued with their…. humor. I do realise why I opted for the evening out despite being so tired. There is something pretty important about being around people you are more than entirely comfortable with. Time is a master at that. Of course then you must take the frustrating with the ‘best of’ those you are with. It’s really not a bad trade off.

Christianity General Life

Published August 6, 2006 by

Outline

It’s a definite indication that I am far more interested in ‘other stuff’ (some of that being sleep) when I get home and write a blog post called: Outline and leave it unpublished in drafts. It disturbs me a bit when I can’t record a day as I’ve been doing it for so long now, it’s a sad substitute.

So! In going with this Outline post pathetic replacement theory – tonight you get to read a blog full of subheadings. This basically means that I am forcing myself to write at least something on everything that I put down late last night.

I did not write these un-dotted dot points in any particular order, so please bear with me. Do your best to follow along by treating each as in an individual post and hopefully I’ll get to daunt you with a horrendous amount of words. *I will wait with great anticipation for the comments about making the font in my blog bigger*

Pearl of Great Price – The God Stuff

Wow, might as well hit you with the biggish one first. The God stuff.
On Friday night I went along to lead youth and after a lot of games and running around we had the ‘God spot’ which Geoff ran, and I really liked. If I’m really honest, it’s possibly purely because I think that this society has severely lost the art of story-telling and I got to enjoy the experience of it. He did a very good job. I had a look around at one stage and everyone was very caught up in it. The story of the pearl of great price can be found in Matthew 13:44-46 and as it’s so short you can read it for yourself:

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

We spent a great deal of time last year looking at what is the Kingdom of God/Kingdom of heaven. I don’t think I ever considered the approach of having to explain the concept to a bunch of kids before. In light of how much depth we tried to simplify previously, presenting it to some very untheologicalised minds is no mean feat. I really should’ve thought about it that way before, the perspective was far better.

I can’t remember exactly how Geoff ended up putting it, but something pretty basic like: living how God wants us to live. This fictional merchant’s joy over his pearl/treasure is pretty much how we should treat living for God. Giving it everything we’ve got. Nothing else matters, being ‘sold out for the cause’. We really, really don’t do this well.

I think the semi-flipside of the coin is that for me, I tend to forget how much of a joy it should be to simply know that we do have the opportunity. What an amazing thing to have God, to know we can approach God and the chance we have to live to please him. In a sense, we’ve already grasped the pearl, already have it… (highly incomplete ideas)

I do like how the story has two perspectives. One for the ‘coming across’ the pearl where you wouldn’t expect to find one, and one for the merchant already out looking for ‘fine pearls’. It fits with our differing attitudes and experiences…

As for the merchant’s joy. I haven’t bizarrely had the worlds easiest time grasping that all recently, despite all the fantastic things going on in my life at the moment. The God stuff has been more difficult, there has been less motivation, although not a lesser desire for it. It’s just been harder. (Which leads nicely into the next point)

Soul Sista – seeing people, attitudes
So, I was at Soul Sista all of Saturday and from the first main session I was talking to God about some of the, having trouble ‘getting’ Him’ at the moment. It became all too clear that I am ( or was – I hope I’m getting there a bit more now) stuck in the head position of knowing the stuff but not really understanding it.

The day itself unfortunately didn’t particularly provide anything highly enlightening in itself (on that ‘theme’), but it was a good time to step back from home and relax a bit. A big part of my intention of going/motive was to suss out the stuff talked about so that I might be able to later have ideas for more gushgirls stuff etc. I knew the day would be aimed at a slightly younger level and it was. Quite helpful in that regard.

I did get the chance, and I found it pretty exciting to write a letter to, ‘whom it may concern’ about refugee/detainee stuff. Something I’ve always looked at doing but never really known how to go about. I am still and always have been in two minds about the whole issue and have not recently done enough research to know exactly what’s going on, but I think it’s pretty important to remind those where it counts, that yes we are dealing with real, feeling, human beings. I pretty much roughly filled out and expanded on a couple of points they had listed on a page of many, but it was good to actually have something set down. Who knows if they get read.

As for the ‘seeing people’ business. I had the fantastic opportunity to run into quite a few people I hadn’t realised would be there. Cathy P (James whom I know through gush modding, his girlfriend) she’s so lovely, met her several times. Sophie from Wattle Park (old church). Beth – Dan D’s friend who I got to know that trip to the beach, and Darryn (YITS)’s sister – Chrissy. I don’t really know her, but got to work out that mysterious, “Why do I know your face” business. That and Analise was there, a crew of Em and Han’s friends, Evie, and Thea for a short while.

Connex Trouble
Worth a mention, because it is highly typical and I don’t think has ever quite happened to the extent that it did. We got to Camberwell station and the train was delayed, not just 5 or so, but 20 minutes and there was no Lilydale train in sight, so the Belgrave it was. Grabbed some tea (SO GOOD turkish bread spicey mince/veggies thing) ran back to the station. Other waiting passengers (incl. the police we saw on the way down) drooled over our food. Train was packed.
We’re at Ringwood and the announcement comes over to swap to another platform – the platform where you have to go out of the station and up over the crossing. This happened THREE times. Back and forth, back and forth. Several passangers started verbally abusing the station workers, there were people laughing at the ludicrous nature of the situation and on the third ‘Lilydale passengers please note that the 7:00pm will be leaving from platform 1’ there was this glorious collective groan. 150 people trecked back to where they’d just come from. It was much fun, although a little annoying as my phone died and I was having to let various people know when to pick us up/why I was going to be late.

Mention evening spent with Geoff
TRUE! I genuinely wrote this down. So mention it I will. I was originally heading there (Sat night) for dinner, but that didn’t happen (read Connex Trouble again). So it was dessert, and watching GATTACA and some good talking and I made him show me some ‘when he was younger’ photos etc. There… that’s um, mentioned it. It was really good 😀

Gratitude
Why the heck I wrote this one down, as it’s far too large a topic to expand on just as part of a post. Whatever the deal is at the moment, despite it, God has been shoving some pretty good references regarding gratitude in my face lately. I greatly admire those who can live like they are genuinely thankful, it’s such a dramatically different outlook on life. I am seeking I guess to impliment this a bit more in my own life, because I really think that I do have a huge lot to be thankful for. God has been extremely good to me and is extemely good. Any suggestions whatsoever would be welcome. Prayer for this also even in the continued elaboration of this attitude within the ‘less than ideal’ circumstances. It’s a big wide wonderful world, but still big and wide.

…and that’s all folks (*cringe at that lousy word*)
It looks like I’ll have to save my thoughts on Rob’s extravaganza of a brilliant sermon until tomorrow.

Christianity General Life

Published August 4, 2006 by

Seeing

I went to bed earlier than I have in about 6 years last night- By 8pm I was well and truly there, by 8:30 or so I think I was out of it. Slept around the clock – 12 good solid hours and woke up with a splitting headache.

I now feel like I’ve found cloud nine, despite all that I have to do today. It could be due to a good breakfast, the knowledge that I don’t have to go into uni today (erm… yes, I’m wagging that one hour), panadol that’s curbed the headache, found some rather nice words in the ‘What I love about you thread‘, or/and the fact that I got a really nice encouraging PM on Gush about something I’d posted, AND I came across something that makes anything I ever do on Gush so unbelieveably worth it:

“Oh, and I think this might be the place to say this, but I don’t know. I do owe Gush A LOT, I think if it wasn’t for Gush I would have thrown the idea of a God out the window long ago… I actually found myself praying today a little.. and realised that Gush is still having a change in me.. so thanks guys”

It’d be true to say that in the past week or so It’s been much more of a task to notice God as much as I used to. I’ve been finding it pretty hard lately to be intentional about spending that time. Despite all this, I keep continually coming across a lot to do with being grateful.

It’s always a strange thing when you realise something has shifted in your relationship with God, usually pertinent to a change in life circumstance. Generally it usually works out better than previously because you have grown in some way, but there’s that unstable point (days, weeks even months sometimes) where there is a good bit of weighing up what is, what should be, what was and how it all works together.

I think sometimes the ‘lazy-mans’ method – or one of my methods at least, of when I don’t feel like it with the God stuff – of reaching that point of acknowledging God for who he is and who I am in light of that is, is to opt for putting on some music. Of which happens to usually be on already. In that way (supposedly my doing – but I think not) something will resonate and I’ll remember.

There’s an article up on Shared Worship about Music, Song and Worship. I guess what interests me a lot about it all is the link of music to joy,

“Song is a subset of music in this same task of expression, and is a great tool also. The use of words, our’s or other people’s, can often bring clarification to us of how we feel and what it is that erupting out of us. Song also brings an added dimension of the ability to give expression to the more “down” side of our feelings. Yet biblically it is clear that it’s closest partner is joy.”

I remember maybe two years ago or so, I had a right old whinge about doing my ‘thinking through song lyrics’. It was a time again like now, with the shift in circumstance/relationship. A conciousnesss of some kind of change, definitely a lot darker blacker point than now but there are some parallels. Looking at it now, it’s not such a bad thing.

I am not a ‘music’ person, but music is a very powerful way to get through to the core of something.

I don’t expect my ‘coming across’ the themes of gratitude and joy to slow, I’m a fair way from grasping the fullness of it. Between Joy and Patience I think I’ve got material enough for a lifetime. Funny really, what comes up considering that everything going on in my life at the moment is definitely worth being thankful for.

It’s a challenge, it’s a never ending struggle to be following and recognising God continually,

“But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, “Let God be exalted!” – Ps. 70:4

I’m not sure where it’s all going. I do know that God is good. I do like how he doesn’t ever stop working in me. I am grateful for the moments like this morning where he uses others to encourage me by pointing out what he is doing. Keeping your eyes open (metaphorically or even normally!) takes work and hurts sometimes, but who would ever give up sight – there is far too much at stake, too much worth not missing.

Christianity General Life Ministry