conversathhion.jpgGoogle has surprisingly little about the theory on ‘levels of conversation’.

If you happen to find anything – do share.

During a recent talk on journaling and its usefulness (for some) in engaging with God, these 5 levels of conversation were presented as part of the background information:

  • Swapping greetings
  • Giving information
  • Exchanging experiences/details
  • Sharing feelings
  • Baring your soul

I was amused when I reflected on a variety of application of these five levels.

The first that came to mind was that of Geoff and my relationship, especially in its early stages and the intriguing progression to five. Interestingly on the odd days where communication isn’t so great, we hit level three, perhaps four but it doesn’t extend beyond that. Sometimes it doesn’t need to extend beyond a four. As very much a ‘quality time’ person, I like conversations with those select friends to hit a 4-5 level although sometimes I think that my ‘fours’ are something of my own creation, thoughts over feelings.

Blogging falls into a three-four. Experiences and details. I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that any good (personal) blogging has to get to this level for readers to stick around, along with some half reasonable writing. It’s also probably wiser to keep it at this kind of level with maybe a very rare five. Fives probably shouldn’t take the stage of the public arena.

I am positive that there would be some debate around where four hits five, for some a four is the equivalent of a five. I think it’s a positive thing to be confident enough in yourself to let others know what’s really going on. I like honesty. And I like how I’ve grown from being a close fisted three into someone who can definitely deal with fours, and now (selectively) with fives, I think I’m better off for it.

And then there is engaging with teenagers. Sometimes you’re lucky to hit three. I lead youth where one the kids sits at a level one and you have to push to get anything more. It’s a beautiful thing watching teenagers become more confident in who they are and in what they believe – or at least in their willingness to ask questions. I don’t need them to bare their souls with me, but I’d like to be the kind of leader where if they needed to, they could feel safe in doing that.

It has got to be worthwhile being intentional about swapping fours and fives with Geoff and with other close friends. My question is, is it worth striving in each conversation for further levels? Sure it’s not always appropriate, but I think I am a often quite hesitant where there is space for more. I dislike ‘small talk’ yet sometimes it has it’s place – it’s also easier, less effort but about a billion times less rewarding. And if you crawl out to that not so safe place, do you get people following you and some real talk happening or do you just wind up looking full of yourself?

Blogging Life Ministry Personality Relationships

Click to view my Personality Profile page

Get yours here. It is interesting as my Myers Briggs stuff seems to have swung back to INTJ (from ISTJ), I am still by far less J than I used to be… perhaps I have mellowed. I am also less ‘T’ which I’ll need to think about. I approve of this test, the questions were broad and seems to have conveyed stuff fairly accurately.


pm-30342-medium.jpgHalf a thought as I was going to sleep last night about a certain strong (perhaps?) characteristic of my personality.

This is something I’ve only begun to realise with a few insightful comments from someone very close to me, it’s something I am sure has been going on for a very long time.

Much of it has to do with me being quite stubborn.

If I go into something with a particular mindset, my experience will be totally determined by that minset.  This of course usually works to my detriment and is possibly a driving factor in whole lot of things like – why I don’t like dancing…

This has also bought me to the realisation that my mind is very, very powerful.

Not in a creepy way. More in a ‘mauhahahaha’ way… or maybe that is creepy?

But what good I could do with it?!


To throw a spanner in the works of a slow chugging machine, I am participating in yet another, (This is possibly number 3?) meme.

Christina has tagged me about ‘obsessions’. As I’ve grumbled about before, memes seem to very much be a social network cliche, so what better a place to start!


1) I dislike cliches – quite a lot. I use them usually only if I am extremely tired, purposefully being annoying to others or if it’s too embarrassing/inappropriate a situation to make up my own.

2) No longer an issue, but I used to ‘have to’ turn off the hot-tap on the shower last. In that, the hot might go off first, but the final turn would have to be that certain tap.

3) A mirror of one of Christina’s obsessions, it drives me a little crazy when people don’t take their teabag out before they put milk in, my theory is the same as hers besides, it makes the teabag look disgusting.

4) Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation. I write some fairly flawed posts/other however if it is a professionally used document/menu etc, spelling MUST on all accounts be correct, along with grammar and PUNCTUATION. A particular loathing is the boganised ‘You’ – Youse/Youze. It drives me mental.

5) I just about cry if I see people using Comic Sans/Curlz MT Fonts on anything.

Rather than tagging anyone specific, what are your obsessions?

Meme Personality

serpentstantial.jpgThe past few days I have been in Canberra for a Wedding. It was replete with humorous moments and many more meetings of cousins and relatives. I had great fun! The wedding was very nice. Now I have returned and am going to answer a few questions.

Why questions?

A couple of reasons:

a) Questions seem to be the flavor of the week! They featured as a whole evening at Young Adults a few nights ago AND Two ~7 hour car trips provided ample time for conversation – I probably wound up asking Geoff (and vice versa) quite a few questions along the way even if some of them did just simply relate to what was for lunch. No really, we had a fantastic time and decided it was probably a good sign that we still weren’t sick of each other by the end of it. (*key Paul, siblings and certain others to gag here)

b) It’s an easy way to write a blog post. I want to write a blog post but I’m tired, so this is how you’re getting one.

Question 1: How many blog entries did your RSS feeder pick up by the time you got home?

Answer: 95 entries. Read many. Skimmed most. Skipped a few.

*NB. Gone two days.

Question 2: How many times did you get asked when ‘your wedding’ was going to happen?

Answer: Once that I can remember, but it was implied many more times in conversation. In fact there were quite a few of us there coping the, ‘So when’s the…?’ question. Poor Robsy (Mark’s girl) was freaking out a little I think.

Question 3: What’s happening with your car?

Answer: It got fixed while I was away. The RACV guy was wrong, it was the ignition switch. All up (+more towing) cost me ~$200. It is now working.

Question 4: What’s happening about a job?

Answer: I am getting a phone call from my old-old work on Tuesday. Here’s to hoping! I am also going to apply for the job I mentioned previously – graphic design work for a Church in the City.

And to finish of this post so I can head to bed, I picked these questions up off a blog I keep tabs on

1. What’s the most fun work you’ve ever done, and why? (Two sentences max)

I had a great fun waitressing for a School Formal (The Really Formal Kind) two years ago now with my friends Jess W and Sam, it was hard work and we run off our feet. I just had a blast for some odd reason.

2. Name one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did? (One sentence max)

I used to play basketball daily with friends in the Solomons.

3. Name one thing you’ve always wanted to do but keep putting it off? (One sentence max)

Go on a short holiday by myself to spend some more focused time on looking at my life and praying about… well stuff – life, everything.

4. What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why? (Two sentences max)

I would love to learn to play guitar and to speak French (this also counts under the ‘be better at’. I can currently count to ten in French and Italian – this serves very little purpose).

5. If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it, be and what would you hope to learn? (Two more sentences, max)

I would love to take a class from CS Lewis and hope to learn about how he spent his time thinking/listening/learning and talking to God and where the heck most of his ‘crazy-wonderful’ theological ideas came from. (That too cliched for you?)

6. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you?

Honest (and they’re probably meaning in the blunt sense)

7. Now list two more words you wish they described you as…


8. What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes– three sentences max)

Writing and Words – blogging, reading, grammar natzi’ing…
Design and Photography – making things look ‘right’ = ban comic sans
Community and Relationships – despite my ‘sullen moments’, I actually like people quite a lot.

9. Write–and answer–one more question that YOU would ask someone (with answer in three sentences max)

Q: What is it you want to do most right now?

A: Stop thinking, stop writing this and go to bed.

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