Published November 22, 2005 by

Compromise

“Don’t compromise something you would have normally experienced, just because circumstances have changed.”

This is something I said to a friend tonight, I’m leaving it here to think about more – whether it was the right thing to say. Any thoughts? I can’t really share the situation to give you the context.

General Life Words

Published November 21, 2005 by

The how

How to keep going the way I have this year, next year.

Which equates to exponential growth, despite not feeling entirely changed or different.
To let people enrich my life.
To ‘walk in step’ with the Spirit (re: Romans 8:1-17)

This has come up today.

Through this morning’s ‘brunch’ where I sat outside on the verhanda, lazily journalled around the Romans passage and ate my out of habit fruit breakfast (toast all the way normally). I didn’t pick the passage specifically, more opened Bible randomly found a bit I’d underlined and checked it out to see why. Familiarity as the verses were used a fair bit this year particularly in Warwick’s classes. I threw a few questions in the air and tried to answer them by unpicking what was there. Was good, not intentional but I think/hope I got something out of it.

Then tonight after getting home from YITS hangout BBQ at Jess VW’s and I went outside to feed Job. I read a letter Jessmyn gave me, thought a bit about the year and what these people have each meant to me. Looked up at the stars and talked to God for a bit mostly about letting him have next year.

Sometimes when I write stuff like the above, it sounds ridiculously pious. Which is annoying, because it is not, far from it. I shouldn’t have to be concerned about that anyway. Blah, whatever I’m crapping on about I’m just writing what’s in my head.

So next year. Profoundity in that: wanting to continue good habits but still move on so I am not eternally Rebecca of 2005? No probably not. I am different to what I was at the start of this year although exactly how I’m not sure.

I was surprised today when I got to speak to Josh on msn. It’s been what, nearly four years now? Strange having someone you knew but now don’t know. (This is a Solomons person, my future brother-in-law’s brother 😉 I asked him, “So do you think you’ve changed?”, “Oh, probably”

I could answer that question with a definite YES.
But ask me to delve deeper, that would require a lot more defragmenting. The how.

Change, change, change.

It is a good thing.
From which to what?
We are shape shifters.

General Life Solomon Islands

Published November 20, 2005 by

In the dark

I was wondering what I’d put in here tonight. If I had done this a bit earlier it might have been more inclined to the pessimistic.

Church this morning. Not terribly engaging. I got a little fed up with my friend making a few comments to me throughout the sermon but it wasn’t facinatingly interesting at the same time. All stuff we’ve talked about before in Youth Min classes, Apprenticing and the Kingdom of God, this in regard to discussing church values etc. a continuation of last weeks sermon.

Some talk afterwards of going to the young adults home group (that is only advertised by word of mouth) on Wednesday, it all depends on Ana calling me and giving me the inspiration to go. I don’t know about the whole ‘feeling welcomed’ thing, it hasn’t been overly apparent to me thus far on the peer level aside from the few I know through school.

Went up to my Grandparents place for afternoon tea. Took the camera and went photo happy in my Grandpa’s massive and almost immaculate garden. I can’t be entirely bothered just yet making them small enough to keep flikr content so you can wait. I was looking through them after offloading them and was quite amazed at what I miss with just my ‘natural eye’. Magnified detail is so perfect. Very pleased at some of the shots.

Wasted some time watching some junk TV. Seeing as it is almost the Aus Idol final which I have only been watching in fragemented sections (due to severely waned interest after two years ago) and siblings minor obsessions with the show. Kate and Emily left. None of the songs were particularly inspiring. The single as pathetic as usual. I think that this show should be on its last legs. That and Kate should win. Who wants another R&B CD anyway? I don’t think I’ll bother watching any more ever. Eats time like nothing else. Better music can be found on those plastic circular things that are also rapidly going out of fashion.

Someone explain ITunes and such to me. Useable without an Ipod? What’s the deal. I have ITunes software on my computer for some reason and people keep mentioning it. How much do songs cost and how do you pick them etc… I am too lazy to research.

Bring back the Amazing Race and I might start watching TV again beyond the ‘real life’ Medical shows (don’t do drama – time issues). How sad. I should really watch the news and become re-informed with the world, I haven’t seen it in months.

I have been battling a bit with being ‘engaged’ when it comes God stuff – this has been over the past few weeks. The so called ‘quiet time’ has slipped into halfhearted attempts late at night. I changed tactic a little bit and did something a bit more creative as I’m simply getting really bored just sitting and reading/writing. I don’t know how well it worked so to speak, but it got me intentionally talking honestly to God. File name: Visual Prayer Journal or some blah like that. Dump photo to fit the mood, write/type to God over it. Simple but different. This is not to say problems or issues are fixed. Prayer around me and God and the relationship there would be good. Its something I badly want and still find so hard to keep up. Frustrating.

Tilla gave me this verse in my encouragement/concluding note.

Matt 10:27 “What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.”

I have been thinking about it.

Christianity Church General Life

Published November 19, 2005 by

Saturday one

I have spent my day…

  • creating a cover letter with some timely advice from Tilla, I love email.
  • dropping in my resume (and the cover letter which finally got done) at Dymocks
  • shopping with the lovely Sam
  • randomly itching my face because the stupid face wash stuff I bought does have that methyl/propylparaben in it (which I think is the problem). I had one picked out, all checked and then grabbed the ‘mild’ one at the last minute. Stupid girl Rebecca. Products of the cosmetic kind cost way too much, remind me why I never usually buy them?
  • researching exhibitions (mostly the free ones) and such activities around Melbourne in the coming montshs, so that I can spend some of all this free time immersing myself into good culture
  • reading The Potato Factory -Bryce Courtney, which I’m only about a third through still. It is thorougly engrossing, rather a bit more crude than I usually allow myself to read and I wouldn’t want to see the movie unless it is tamed down rather a lot. I can’t not finish it. Imagination is a good thing you can place way more limits on it than you can with a visual image.
  • writing an email to Kerryn, the one person above all who I would have liked to do the ‘affirmation’ session on camp for. She couldn’t come for some reason or other.

It has thus been quite a good day.

Particularly as I can now let my Grandma know that I want something other than a voucher for a Christmas present, which would have to be a first in about four years. If things go as planned I shall go with her (I hope) to see Handel’s Messiah at Hamer Hall (Melbourne Symphony Orchestra) on the 9th of December. Ah much excitement!
If that falls through, I shall hope to nab some less attractive seats (C reserve) for myself as it isn’t that expensive, although I may not be able to see. I have a significant attachment to this piece of music.

Hoorah!

General Life Work

Published November 18, 2005 by

Freedom

I spent this evening at my cousin Jaclyn’s graduation.So incredibally similar, yet so different from my own around the same time last year. I sat in the back (we were a bit late) living my freedom and marvelling at what I’ll do with all my time, feeling heh maybe ‘adult’ or more so than usually let myself feel. Got to catch up with some old teachers, MJB (Mr Brown – methods teacher) was there, down from Sydney! I hadn’t realised that Iain was going to be there until I remembered his sister Beth was graduating and that was only when I saw her. So had a bit of a camp/finishing debrief and general chat with him, sort of good in a way – the debrief thing.

I didn’t find out about going tonight until sometime today, it might have been last night I’m not sure. Laura was standing around doing a verbal comparison of us four girls and ‘styles’ before hand for Marita’s (Em’s friend)apparent benefit. “I’m more classic (Laura), Hannah’s all very um popular/modern, Emily’s retro, and Bec’s casual”. I found it quite amusing as it’s all rather true. Hannah spends hours getting ready and I couldn’t even be stuffed wearing makeup. I think you can look perfectly nice without it, saves so much time and hassle.

Tomorrow I intend to go hand in a job application at Dymocks in Eastland. Tilla has recommended me and I think that Dave and I are fighting it out for the job. It would be mightly useful as I finish up at MBO by Christmas. I can get to Eastland by train, a vastly shorter trip than what I do now, and the pay would be considerably higher than my ‘a bit’ stingy current wage.

Today I decided I’m not waiting around too much longer to get my manual P’s and I’ll just bite the bullet, get a couple of pro lessons and get my liscence asap as it has been far too long without that kind of freedom. Forget needing manual l. to use the little red car – it’s Mum’s coveted possession now. I’ll buy a decent bomb as soon as I have saved enough. Had a sisterly whinge with Laura at mum and her overprotectiveness, I must say I was surprised she started it and not me as it is usually the other way around.

According to Laura, John (her boyfriend) has tentative plans to spend his summer break working in Australia – that’s about 3 months long (about May-June-July). My it shall be interesting if it happens, because we have to find room for him somewhere.

I have started writing a mental list of how I can effectively use all this free time. More of that later though before late night thinkings get all ambitious. I will hopefully share so you can keep me accountable and I don’t just spend the time sleeping and reading.

General Life