I has surprised me what Christmasy things I’d forgotten that we do.

First thing. Ever since we were about 8 or 9. Mum has this thing of putting ‘mini-stockings’ (or bags rather) with stuff at the ends of beds/on floor late Christmas Eve. The original idea was to keep us in bed longer so they could sleep to a decent hour. It somehow lasted and has moved far beyond the entirely full of lollies, they now have much more useful things in them, plus a few edibles.

So before 7am, (or 7:30) us four girls cram into whoever’s room is convienient and show eachother what’s in them. Then we do the breakfast thing and other presents, church, then the lunch (usually at my Grandparents).

Other things. Mum’s side on Christmas day usually. Mum’s brother, my Uncle Paul, Aunty Bronwyn and three younger cousins, Lauren, Nathan and Naomi with my Grandparents and us (and Wendy this year). A good majority of whoever feels like it will go for a walk on the golf course (very classy country club one- private property of course) after lunch.

It was nice today, we went down a slightly differnt way, saw the lake and ducks, found some stolen mail in the boat shed (which Dad reported to the police)… poked around in the bush for lost golf balls. I didnt find any. The others got about seven.

Had left overs for dinner. My aunty was so sick she couldnt eat a thing (oh, a bit of bread and later threw up). Ha, maybe shouldn’t talk about left overs in combination with being sick…

We left about 8ish sometime. Did ‘sparklers’ before we left, which has become a bit of a thing. Everything from being foolish and waving them around to building massive structures in the driveway to set a chain reaction of burning off.

I drove home (drove there too), must get driving lessons/book P’s.

And that was my Christmas, roughly speaking.

Oh, my Grandma got my Uncle to read out part of the Christmas story (something that we have not done as an extended family before) it was a really nice thing to do it that way.

Last Christmas in that house, sad really. It’s another home of mine, I will miss it and its extensive, amazing garden. But things are changing anyway. People get older.

What! Bec’s online on Christmas Day

It is the time between Church and lunch (and lunch, and lunch and lunch) at my Grandparents.

So a short one while I have some random ‘free time’, to say Merry Christmas to you!
Remember what God gave.
Hope you have a wonderful day.

Love Bec

I’ve been listening to a song by Frou Frou (who I have no clue who he/she/it is, but heard off a sound track). There is a line or two that says the following:

Leave your things behind
‘Cause it’s all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you’re writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble-wrap
When you’ve no idea what you’re like

This evening four years ago I was possibly struggling as much as I ever hope I have to. Christmas day is now a strange day for me. An aniversary of leaving, of goodbyes, of memories. We were at a Christmas eve service less than an hour ago now and I was thinking how each year it does get easier and was wondering if I could or should conjure up – or even just think about that stuff.

No it’s not the point of Christmas, but its a very big part of my life – was and is.
I had decided it would quite foolish to intentionally going about feeling sad, simply for the sake of a memory. So I sat as I was, oddly indifferent to it all.

I don’t know what tomorrow will be like for me. I can’t deny I’m not feeling a sense of loss now. No doubt it will occupy part of my time tomorrow and it’ll hurt like crazy in the way that certain memories strangely do.

Each year changes things.

I can only be thankful, I am not completely in the same situation of the man I sold a ‘dealing with grieving’ book to the other day. No one should have to go through that, particularly in the over marketed ‘joy’ at Christmas. Mine is a different kind of loss, it doesn’t quite match death.

God gave. Maybe I should think about the giving and not the taking.

Got my Tabor results today (after Sam said hers came in the mail) I went online and there they were! No post for me yet.

The good news is that I passed.
The bad news is nothing.

Worst mark a P+ for ‘Special Ministry Topic’ (yeh not entirely surprised, could have put a fraction more effort into it).

Best mark a HD+ (Didn’t even know you could get them) for Christian History – the one subject I really didn’t put too much effort into as I’ve done it too many times, actually no, I lie. I enjoyed finding out about Augustine (which was for major essay). I am surprised though. Yay for Craig the shark man (or maybe I shouldn’t say that as Rowan might read this :P).

The rest were all quite good.

So all is fine and dandy. I am pleased. Not that I did YITS for the certificate and work, but yeah, it’s sort of nice to know.

Now I just have to wait until April 1 for graduation. Which means I’ll be 3 days off 20, which is just strange, and I’ll have to wear a stupid black gown thing which no doubt will be too big for me (as things from uniform shops generally are).

If you would like to come, I’m sure you can, but I don’t know where it is going to be yet. Actually Dave I think you know (near your house?). Does any of the yits people reading this know if we can invite people along?

Better question, do I even want you there? Sam, what’s the inside information from April on how it runs…?

Let me get back to you on this.

Two days before Christmas.

It definitely doesn’t feel it. My present getting was done a while ago. The others went to look at lights tonight, my feet hurt after 9hrs at work – I am not particularly in the mood, I think I’d just get annoyed at the waste and show of it all anyway.

I either have a massive callous on one side of one of my big toes, or it’s just numb for some reason, weird.

So, work all day. Frantically busy, I was on registers for the first couple of hours. Had afternoon tea with Dave (as we couldn’t coordinate lunch breaks) which was a good change from sitting alone eating whatever and starting at whatever in the short 15 minutes I get.

And I have entirely run out of anything to say.

Oh, I did sit down and do the 3rd of the Advent things tonight, I didn’t take much time about it really. It was on joy. Which is entirely curious considering the past week.

Joy is oddly themeatic really. Which is quite cool considering it is one of the things I talked to God about a few weeks ago.

…and now I have to go finish watching Troy with Dad.