I am not going to work today.

I set the alarm for just before 9:00 and had a good think about whether I was okay or not, came to the conclusion that I’d better give myself some time although I am feeling vastly better than yesterday.

Did all the random jobs. The washing has gotten wet two times in a row now, I’ve given up on it. Yesterday when it poured I was in no frame of mind to go running out to rescue it. I can live in whatever other clothes I’ve got. Half of it isn’t mine anyway. I had the great idea to wash everyone’s smelly towels while they were gone so the bathroom could be all mine. Now it keeps spitting, I figured I couldnt’ leave them in the machine any longer, and couldn’t justify using the dryer so they are on the verandah (did I spell that right?!).

Dinner last night consisted of the only thing I could stomach. Which I worked out to be veggies. Nothing like broccoli and beans… :\ I got to sleep around 10:30-11:00. Managed four hours. Woke up really hot. Moved the fan into my room, decided it was stupid trying to sleep when I couldn’t so got online (how sad) for an hour and had a chat to Tony. Went back to bed around 4am and slept until my alarm went.

There’s the what I did kind of info – writing this is quite strange sometimes. I am thinking of back-dating to the long spiel I wrote in my journal, but that calls for a new post. So backward ho.

I can just utterly refute the grouch of the post about 10 minutes ago?

I turn around and the rain is pouring down. No rain drops, just water and water and water. I go and stand in it. It is gone almost before I get out there.

I still am not 100% but being able to smile a bit helps. The smell brings back a memory. The smell of rain and smoke. It smells like the Solomons, I do not mind. God is good.

I show up at work. Oh you got told the wrong thing (or I heard the wrong thing) you aren’t working today, but now you are here…

12:04. Bec is out the back stickering books with Mel (manager) I get massively dizzy, my ears start ringing and I do not even go through the consider ‘should I say something, I’m probably okay’ phase, I just did and went and sat down. I nearly blacked out several times. Felt unbearably hot, sweaty, then cold, and sick and dizzy. Finally managed to get up enough to get some water, felt a bit better after that. Ears rang for like 5 minutes at least. Mel got me a cold towel thing. “Got anyone you can call?”

So I got on to Jess. Again. She was wonderful. Felt a bit better but still sick all afternoon, stayed at her place in the aircon watching movies. Hot, cold.

Now I am home (thanks again Sam to your Dad). I still feel hot (beyond just the weather), despite having had panadiene at Jess’s. I still feel sick and cant be stuffed cooking dinner as I dont feel much like eating, I dont want to have a shower as I’d rather not keel over in there (as thats where anything like that usually happens), but I do want one. And I want to sleep but its too hot and parents will call or something after 7pm.

I am sad. It’s such a hassle being sick when there’s no one around.

A Norah Jones morning. Reasonably lazy breakfast and utter productivity without hardly even trying.

They (the rest of my esteemed family) left at around 7:30 – an hour or so later than they intended. I got up around a similar time in order to hear out the last minute things.

So they left and that song “Come Away with Me” comes on and I can remember a class sometime last year where that was used to illustrate something of God. I think I need this time by myself – and despite last night’s semi-qualms and frustration at all the smoke in the area it is only clear skys this morning.

I had a brilliant dream last night. I rarely seem to dream and I think I’ve only ever had one dream that I’ve enjoyed just fractionally more than this one. I was with someone in a car, we were talking and laughing, just laughing and laughing and enjoying whatever it was we were saying and enjoying eachother. This indescribable joy that you seem to rarely find in life. I woke up without opening my eyes and thought, I want to remember this. I wish I could translate the feeling like the Giver can do to Jonas (in the book The Giver – Lowis Lowry :P).

Utter productivity after they’d left. Did the dishes and the washing and putting more on and clearing up around the place, closed the house to save what little attempt at cool and watered the plants. Got ready for work and have written a blog all before 9:00am.

Difficulty in getting to work today as it is Australia day and the busses aren’t running (and hey, I have payed, so my P’s should be booked as soon as she can get a good date). Jess it taking me to the station, and Wes (Sam’s dad) is going to pick me up this evening. Nothing like an 8 hour shift to combat the heat. Far better than being at home. We live in a hot house, or a cold house depending on the alternate weather to what’s desired.

Have a beautiful day.

Today I am an optimist.

Wow I think I’ve found maybe 3 minutes of privacy in this house. The family computer is in HIGH HIGH demand (whereby I immediately get interupted by Emily looking for something on ebay that had to be done NOW).

To pretend like I’m online again. I can maybe give a quick summary of the more major events. If you even care. I mean I reverted to writing a massively long thing in my journal last night as I was so desperate, so you might get to read that later if I can be bothered typing it out.

As of yesterday, I am now offically a uni student. Enrollment was fairly painless (only took an hour) I’m apparently going to major in photography as it is currently far too awkward to take up anything from the professional/creative writing area – ie: I have to do something about writing and the law if I do anything at all on writing, that didn’t thrill me, so I’ll sit on that for another year.

So of the three electives I’ve chosen, two are on photography and one is on the Internet (webpage creating related, all the fiddly stuff that I can’t already do which I’m sure will bore me up the wall, but will be entirely useful nonetheless). The rest are BIM (Interactive Media) subjects, obviously and I am reasonably excited about the whole deal – while still being thoroughly mystified as to how I ended up chosing this course.

Lets see, this morning I managed to sort out Centre Link issues. After having my Youth Allowance again cancelled. I had my big long sorry story ready to tell, but I didn’t even have to use it. I hope I haven’t lied to them about my income as they made me rereport something I have definitely already given them. Which reminds me, I’d better clean out all my paper work and actually get something vaguely organised, at the moment it’s strewn all over my computer absent desk.

Computer is getting fixed. If for some odd reason they have to touch my harddrive I think I will cry for a week straight. I don’t really need another lesson in backing things up, I’ve had too many of those already.

Tomorrow morning the rest of my family are heading off on some holiday thing (to Bright I think) and I have opted out of joining them. I need some time to myself. Laura informed me this morning that she might be staying home as Jess has some doctors thing that she wouldn’t mind a friend be there for. Which is OK I suppose. I really wanted the time to myself, but yeh.

Minus computering I have had a great deal of time to read. So I’m ploughing my way through various classics and going for the read a book in one sitting thing. The Great Gatsby is astounding and produced all kinds of verbal exclamations (anywhere between wow, and yuck and crap (or worse)), Of Mice and Men was shockingly well, shocking. How to write a classic: have someone die in some horiffic/difficult/unusual cirucmstance and you have it made.

And that shall be all for now as I drew the ‘do the dishes’ piece of paper out of the hat and I have a driving lesson before lunch.