Wednesday night, Tim P showed me a couple of things he’d written, one of which I think he’ll be discussing with us all next week and another which he had in his hand and I asked for a look… after reading it – I asked him to email it to me as it was reasonably helpful/reassuring for that moment. It rings vaguely with what sits on my wall by my bed (and is on this blog somewhere).

“The places you don’t want to be are where I have called you. The people you have met and know, are the people that I have placed in your life to grow you and shape you. Each day new things will happen and your only certainly is that I will be there for you in it all. Trust Me and let Me love you, for I am more than you need.

Soon days will come where you may feel in over your head, but know I am with you. With Me, you have power beyond anything that could come your way. Be strong in Me, and I will be strong through you. My love is sufficient for you.”

There has been a fair bit of trust needed lately. A fair bit of leaning on God. Of facing ridiculous outdated fears. Oh it’s good – it really is, which is probably why I’m so keen on working some on some of the scabbed bits of me. Ha. At the same time things are all pretty daunting. I like it how God makes a point of reminding me of where he is in everything.

I keep coming across Psalm 116.

It’s a funny thing. There’s reliance on God because of need, reliance because of want, reliance because there is no other option. It’s a good experience to have a taste of it all – particularly the ‘want’ bit. I want so strongly for God to be entirely involved in this facet of my life. If only that desire was so strong for life as it is in it’s everyday, it’s intriguing, it’s mundane, it’s routine, it’s occasional highlight, it’s good times…

Christianity General Life Relationships

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The waiting time is approximately 27 minute/s.

…so lets find out what my timetable’s going to look like in a few weeks.

General Life

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General Relationships

If you would like to read about my day Analise has a mighty fine post (linked at the end so you read mine first muahaha) – this should save me a lot of words as I intend to focus a bit more on yesterday and last night.

I spent the majority of yesterday feeling thoroughly unsettled/apprehensive (ie. no, just plain nervous) about something, by dinner I was ‘well and truly over everything’. Spent too long putting up books on Ebay – there are quite a few up at the moment but it took far more time than it should’ve due to my head.

I figured life doesn’t give you too much of an option to envelop yourself into a foetal position, sure it’d be nice but we get a good nine months of that at some stage and that really should be enough. Maybe I’m exaggerating slightly – but oh I hate things that aren’t strictly within my control.

The drive to Young Adults was not the most pleasant in many regards but there was a little finality about something. I was insanely curious as to how the evening would unfold.

We were missing quite a few people.

It was a far cry from last week’s frustrating discussion. My ‘head runneth over’ with everything else as well as the discussion around Luke 5. It got interesting. I threw an alternate perspective on the story of the fishermen out there – knowing quite well that it wasn’t of the highest quality theological value, I do like taking the different angle on things – sometimes you get something out of them, if anything they don’t do any harm (I wasn’t being heretical) perhaps I should stick to doing it in my head. By way of explanation, the not-quite disciples got this mega lot of fish before they were encouraged to drop all and fish for men – my head ran down the path of that they would’ve had to do something with those fish. The usual: sell them (?) and so this is mega provision and ‘setting up’ before the go out to do the ‘real work’. Now there is no substantial backing but it’s interesting pottering around context and Biblical life time posibilities… yeh Bec, keep your mouth shut.

I think very badly when I am on the spot. I love having the time, the paper and the pen to properly digest something. I truly suck at giving valuable input into groups over a certain size unless I’ve had considerable time to think about things first. Sure I might occasionally spit out a ‘gem’ but they really don’t come when your head is entirely elsewhere.

The whole transition and progression of the evening was entirely facinating. Tim P (IT) wrapped things up nicely when he mentioned trust. Very much a ‘point out what’s right in front of you’ moment – I thanked him for it afterwards.

James ran communion. A very interesting experience, where he took us out of the main area and behind a curtain (or infront rather) and talked about sacrifice and sin, complete with photocopied cows. A short reflection time for acknowledging something in our own lives – a sequence of passages from the Bible whereby he talked about how we often miss that we really don’t deserve at all to be in that place – what the Jews knew as the holy of holies. And he finally tore the curtain (sheet) and we went through.

A table with communion stuff and many verses written out on the ground. We were to pick one that stuck out as relevant, and sit aside with another and discuss/reveal why chose that particular piece – pray for eachother and take communion together.

I pounced on 1 John 3:16 very early on.

“This is how we know what love is – Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for others.”

Analise obliged me her company, her prayer and her verse and explanation.

We ended up as usual at McDonalds. And it ended up: Tim P, Tim O, Geoff, Jess W, Analise and myself. We had some facinating and hilarious discussion around relationships/friendships, plastic spoons etc. Intriguing the topics that came up within those really. We wrapped up just before they closed MD…

and from there you can read on over at Analise’s. I thoroughly enjoyed her company both last night and today. I value your friendship immensely Ana and I am far more at peace about the things that were plaguing me yesterday.

Christianity General Life

I woke up this morning to, “Good morning sunshine, the earth says hello!” which I met with a groan. It took me a good long while to haul myself out of bed. Had some breakfast and showed Jess (the culprit) how to use ebay – although it was partially ‘down’ so that didn’t work, I think I managed to reassure her that it was all very straight forward and you just click your way through the selling process.

She had her computer there and was playing some of the new Nelly Furtado stuff – really not a fan. She has entirely changed her style and it sounds like a bad combination of 80’s music and R&B. Nasty. One song was alright. I like some of her old stuff – the acoustic ones.

I was hunting some Sixpence lyrics this morning on Google and found a few of their’s I don’t have… I own about six of their cd’s and thought I pretty well had them all, aside from one collection lot – which I have every song from anyway. I cannot work out where the songs have come from, perhaps from movie tracks or other compliations? This mean’s I’ll have to track them down online or something to a) appease the curiousity monster, b) own them.

I first found Sixpence not through the hit “Kiss Me” (having been out of the country) but on a CD called Exodus that mum picked up from somewhere Brighten My Heart. I tentatively bought their newest CD Divine Discontent – it took a good while to grow on me, and suddenly hit home that yes I really did like them a lot and was listening to them for siginficant periods of time without getting sick of them. And over the next year or two aquired as many as I could get my hands on – with varying likeability strength.

I have found verty few people that share this taste. Oh well. Their lyrics are spectacular! Leigh Nash also has a new album coming out sometime in August – I will be getting my hands on it asap.

That saying I detest their cover of ‘Dancing Queen’ because I’ve never liked the song and have bad mental images of Kylie Minogue strutting her stuff some Olympics opening ceremony to it… And a couple of others like Trust that I find pretty annoying. The reprise is okay. They are not flawless.

Having spent the majority of my life outside of mainstream culture it’s been a slow introduction to the music world. I still haven’t got much of a clue when people talk about various bands. My collection is predominantly Christian music -which I guess is okay but it’s a pretty narrow field. I very much appreciate finding good stuff that isn’t – I never really know where to start.

I like this one a lot at the moment (Sixpence)

Drifting

Drifting away from you
Spinning down to the pinpoint drop of isolation
In a spell
Walking away from the fire
That keeps my heart
From turning ice

Golden feet grace the surface of the sea
Sinking deeper I view them from underneath
Flailing kicking as I head for the deep
I question a hypothetical lead supper
Oh God receive my outstretched hand

Will I inhale the blue
Spinning down upon the glass
A ghost towards realization of a cell
Enclosing the hauntings of a past
That blind the eyes
And rust the heart

So I fell
I need you to take my hand
And keep my heart from ice

General Music