I avoided exam study all day. Concentration was not an option.
By 3:30pm I’d had enough so I took my lecture slides and sample questions to Morrison’s (the cafe I frequent) to get away from all the distractions at home. I ordered a latte and actually got some work done.
I thoroughly recommend this strategy.
Remember when I got all excited about a free promo (Moo Cards)?
Today they came! I couldn’t tear the envelope off quickly enough!
Even the packaging is impressive.
One day, I will put together 100 different photo cards and actually pay for it. These cards are the peak just before the pinnacle of what is appealing.
Yesterday was an odd insight into what was.
About seven of the 2005 YITS crew (including myself) returned to Tabor to brief the current Year in the Son’ers on what happens after you “miraculously” come up to the air of the real world. I personally think that a fraction too much drama is made of the whole deal but it is an important process for the facilitators and students. Then again, I had a fairly easy run and I think that moving on is just another step in living.
We sat as a panel and got grilled (although not very aggressively). It was really quite an odd group of people that showed up.
To be thoroughly selfish, I’m not sure if I really went very much at all to impart any wisdom or experience, there must have been some of that there.
I found through what Rowan was talking about and the issues that came up from stories of my friend’s ‘first year out’ that I got a bit of a kick up the butt regarding all manner of things that I could’ve been much more smart about.
Much of this has to do with the current idea that I’ve wasted a fair chunk of the year. I am less discouraged than I am encouraged. There is time to reassess and contemplate how to address it all very differently.
Time, money, goals, relationships, justice and all those extra things. They should INTENTIONALLY come into play.
It is lazy for you to give them an odd thought and odd action and hope (at best) for more to come along.
So in the ‘looking forward’ theme of my previous post, it’s since been highlighted that it is valuable to take a glance backwards to see what you’ve accidentally left behind in the madness to claw away from it and onwards ahead.
It’s a beautiful thing in realising again that God delights in obedience and it’s so insanely gracious of God that we get to share in that.
An interesting thread over on Gush caught my eye last night. There has been a good change up lately of discussions, this is no exception. It is also disturbingly relevant.
James posted the following,
“Do you ever get the feeling like your so lazy that your wasting your life away? I do all the time! And its that time that you can’t get back. I meet new and interesting people that have done so much with their time, been so effective with the management and way they live that they ooze with awesomeness. I find that compared to these influential people, i pretty much suck at life. Has anyone else felt that way? That they manage to meet people who seem to be do so much, budget really well and achieve all they set their mind too? What are your suggestions and what do you do that makes you feel like your achieving and doing something with your time? Or are you like me, and manage to do little, achieve little and ultimately just stand in awe of those that do.”
I gave a 12:30am kind of response, but it has been something that I’ve been thinking about for some time.
I was reflecting on this year on the train ride home from my last exam and have realised just how much of it I haven’t used well. I am very certain that the moment I semi-consciously worked out I wasn’t going to be sticking out the course that I worked to the minimum of achieving relatively decent marks but not really caring about the actual content. Oh I’m sure there were moments of inspiration but I didn’t explore areas of interest simultaneously.
When. When. When.
It is somewhat difficult to quantify how your relationship with God is going. There is no hope in anything that I’ve learnt as much as I did last year. I was prepared for that, no surprise at all really. It’s been slow – there’s no point denying it. It’s not bad as such but I haven’t probably grown in understanding or as a person as much as I would’ve liked or even set as a good consistent standard.
Lazy. Slack. “Busy”.
This year has been positive in so many ways. It’s bought it’s own challenges but it has been an easier year. I’m not sure if it’s fair on myself to even say I ‘needed a break’ as last year was an immensely rewarding but ugly hack, but it hasn’t served as something effective.
I have every intention (and refuse to hang out with me or something if I don’t) to get away for a few days during this holiday and explore a bit more about what perhaps God wants from me this coming year and just lining up a bit more structure and fluidity into how I’m living.
I am grateful to RobbertyBob for pointing out some kind of Biblical place of where to start.
Examining my life is something I would like to do (and probably we should all do) on a fairly regular basis.
Ephesians 5:15-16 (imitating God and living a life of love)
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”
