Category: <span>General</span>

Blah – really can’t cook. To quote mum, ‘the burning smell is your trademark’. What happened to my good meat pies, nice properly cooked cookies, cakes etc…? How annoying.

A Tuesday, never my favourite day. Practical Evangelism. annoying – debates, basically stuck with a horribl etopic, not enough research time and very few of our group willing to participate (or know where to start). I did not have much insentive, getting up in front of others even less so. At least I talked – probably crap, but yeah, I talked.

Rowan took our OT class as Glen T was away sick. Most insightful OT class so far, all about prophesy/the prophets.
I put a little though into that conversation I had with ___ a while back about prophesy. I am as yet unclear. I need to read more about it, talk more about it with someone.

Accountability group day. It’s fantastic hanging out with Katie and Jo. The question that seemed to get each of our hermit crabbed selves talking was, ‘what’s been most on your mind’ (or the Jo rephrase, ‘your headspace’).
I bought up the converstations thing. Really it’s been a fairly low key week – no major drama’s that my mind could think of then (or now), maybe if I read back I’ll find some. What more of a reality to check (to have forgotten) to live each day for the now, not to worry about tomorrow – it never comes afterall.

God please filter – no, flood my every day with your realities. Teach me so much more. Help me to stop and think and tell you of your greatness… and yet you intricately care for every aspect in my life. Thank you for friends. For conversations, the opportunity to learn and grow even when it seems kind of boring and dry.
Thank you Amazing holy God. You gave so much to save me, you chose to cover my guilt, my mistakes, my sinfulness. How can I thank you?
Too good Abba – I don’t deserve you.
Help me to learn how to listen to you.

A continuation of my ‘who is bec’ through 5 senses.
Sitting here with absolutely no thought into this one as yet, but I have time so why not.

Seeing things

… trying to work out things that I ‘see’ that I like, or hate etc… that aren’t just obvious, also what other angles you can come in on things.

big factor: design, I really like things to be aesthetically nice. From words, to art, to photographs, to scenery, to the way I have my room, to what kind of journal I use… and sadly the influence it has upon books I look at buying – although that can be sometimes overlooked.

I get annoyed when I see stores or books using crummy fonts (well known, or ‘grade 6 style’)… this could be partial ‘geek/nerd’ factor. see: ban comic sans
I frustrate people with having to ‘get it right’

General taste. it comes down to being selective, relatively minimalistic, and um… coordinated when called for 😛

Random things take my fancy 🙂 the terrace house with the orange door.
Particular trees.
Satistfying layouts… colour used effectively.

Specifics – (to like)

A clear, dark sky with stars

Bare green hills (‘rolling hills’ too cliched to use but yeah, them)

Flat of the outback, where you can do a 360 and see nothing but horizion, the small feeling you get.

Windflowers

Cows

Rain

Interesting people on trains – ‘the characters’

‘Borders’ – rows and rows and rows of books

The view over melbourne from Sky High or Burkes lookout

The fireplace at my grandparents and their horrible carpet

The plaque in my grandpa’s garden, ever overgrown, the words mostly worn.

Bed.

Specifics (to not like)

Pinkness, the overuse. Frills and bows, flowers.

The KFC in Bayswater – minimalistic is only good to a certain point.

Clothing with the brandname plastered across the front.

A sink full of dishes

…hmm thats about all I can think of.

Qu’s & A’s

– yes I don’t mind Fed Square, it looks good.
– yes I would re-do some of my room, had I the money or time
– no my taste doesn’t unfortunately make it into fashion – in that I am a practical/immitator. I take siblings for shopping advice. I don’t really have my own unique style
– yes I get unusual fascinations with things like, chairs, doors, fonts and colours… so. maybe its a little strange – let people think that.

enough.

We were discussing spiritual discipline in CL (Creative Living) today. It came about through a discussion of ‘being ready’ – the ‘watch and pray’ verse, somewhere in Matthew I think. A question also of: how much have you seen God at work in the stuff of your everyday life. Aside from stating my obvious response… ‘smile’ am I getting too used to this all coming up? mmm. Warwick mentioned ‘stillness’, which I though – oh yeah this is what is going to be the standout factor for me as I’ve been recognising taht I’m getting a little slack of late on setting aside time. So yes, it is important however, the following ‘listening to God’ was the notch up on the significant scale.

Again I had a conversation about this with other person (and I wrote: should I let him know how conviently God is using him? 🙂 )
It was a re-emphasis on the act of prayer – it being a two way thing, and chosing to listen and let God go first. I guess the biggest thing that jumped out of me here was reading ‘the word’ – which is an in your hand way to listen to God. Bible reading’s become really slack of late.

Ask God what does he want me to read. Do it. Have that interactive God conversation.

And that is a spritual discipline I need your help God to nail.

Christian Doctrine – interesting stuff about the sacraments (baptism/communion etc…) I spent the morning break… (thats about 40mins on a Monday) discussing stuff through with Rowan, Elyce, Dave, Nathan and Tom. I’m still not entirely sure…. it’s a hard concept. Too tired to think now.

Dawn’s 18th. Pancake Palour about 20-25 yits people there. Funny how conversation flows stacks easier with some than others. Ah… or maybe it’s because you had your hand in things there God… phenomenal reoccurance of answered prayer – even stuff I mention once. Thank you God for being the best listener, for knowing my subtleties, my every need before I ask.
Make yourself real to me as the greatest conversationalist. Relationship grows through communication. I think I’m missing part of that at the moment.

I wrote this post for part of a gush thread… but due to server problems I couldn’t reply:

I’m very much not the person to express things physically… like
running round madly etc. I’m not a huggy person.

Yes there are many occasions when the situation requires more than words… I guess I just generally tend to empathise differently (although yeah… attempting to speak
someone elses love language is a rewarding thing to do, it’s curious how the
general principles seep into other areas of your life.)
I’m a ‘be there’ person… an ‘advice’ giver (:) words and time). I’ve never been overly good at letting somone cry on shoulder kind of thing, I shy away from it.

I can stand back, see how it works with others. I can understand, because I’ve had brief insights of it in my own life. Generally speaking, physical stuff its not really
my way of expressing how I feel.

Now I don’t know. I wonder if along the way some of that expression of self through ‘physicality’, what? disappeared, or is a lesser known side of myself, even to myself and not one that I excercise frequently.

I have felt the need before.

All I could do then was run. (yeh ok a 12year old’s grief over a pet. still significant)

To scream at the world at God… but that is still using words.

Being keyed into reading body language… maybe it’s more an interpretation of understanding, and adapting to fill that role, to love the person in they way they are loved best. It’s fulfilling. But I don’t know.

Expression.

how do I express myself?

The Cider House Rules

…I haven’t come away from a movie so quietly disturbed like that for a long time, not since Dead Poets Society.

Are the base layer issues too close to home?
The idea too align with what Mon’s been through… no it wasn’t an option for her, but did the thought cross her mind?

So strange… so rich in symbolism but passive.

Pro-choice

a rethink on tolerance, on understanding.

an acknowledgement of my foolishness to ever offer advice.

a warning to not assume the depth of feeling or comprehension.

the importance of life.

no words.

Psalm 139
fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that full well.

who justifies the wrong?
you do.

not angry, just…why?
what’s it like God to know their hurt?