Published November 12, 2005 by

Impromptu

I was doing the dishes last night when I suddenly realised I had said I was going to Jess D’s for movie/pizza with some of the girls from school. Double checked the time to get there: 6:30, it was already past that. So I called her and came late.

I enjoyed myself this time. It was Jess D, Jacqui, Ana, Natalie (!) and myself. Had a good chat with Jess on the way home. I asked the ‘Where are things with you and God’ question. Improved, but kind of status quo. Prayer for her would be good as she has no real desire or can’t find any ‘need’ for God at the moment, “Feels like too much effort”. And for me too, as I plan to catch up with her a fair bit more once camp is over and all that.

Today I slept until 11ish. I was intending to do some nano’ing but didn’t. I didn’t do much at all really. Gushed a bit, msn’ed. Made some lunch, walked the dog. Very low key – I should have read some more of the Potato Factory (Bryce Courtney), I might do that tonight.

So no great philisophical comments or even thoughts from me today.

Have a gush meeting tomorrow. I get to meet John for the first time, shall be good. Have to get the train and sit out the long haul into Ascot Vale. Hope things will go well. I should really start ignoring the introvert inside me and at least talk a bit more.

General Life

Published November 10, 2005 by

Dare you to move on

A cruel irony.

‘Dare You to Move’ is playing on the radio just as we’re pulling into home.
Last day of classes today.
They played this song at the start of year camp.
Nice of it to be a round ending.
yes, that was sarcasm.

So that is it. Year In the Son 2005.

We have a camp this coming Monday (to Thursday) and a formal tomorrow night. So not quite over.

I haven’t allowed myself to feel what I know I want to be feeling, or I’d be denying self. I guess I’m saving it?

Correction on that also.

We went to Nat’s place to hang out/swim as a finishing group focus. I swam for a bit. Chatted with Emma and few others. Later went to the lounge and just sat and listened to Matt and then Jessmyn play . I guess just thinking, gave my mind some room, talked to God.

Katie, I’m desperately sorry I didn’t get to hang out with you more this week.

Youth Min. Had to self-assess our journals. I was getting input from Sam and Jo (blog readers) as to what’s the theme/s been (since August). Sam pulled the word ‘understanding’ out of thin air. I used it. Understanding of myself, of God, of the world around/beyond me. This has been my year, not just my youth ministry journals. Sure it’s a very broad kind of theme but it’s true. It does however leave a lot of room for extrapolation.

Another part of this self assesment was to list two questions that have come up.

  • Is God enough?
  • “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

and dealing with these questions,
The first demands no less than to daily evaluate myself/motives/desires.
The second? well ha, living for the present shall help, that and taking the opportunities (and being aware) of what God is doing and how I can join him in doing whatever that is.

I decided that doing a self-feedback thing on journalling is really quite helpful, however difficult it is to pull out antianomalies after several months.

Ending. Shall I, shall I not think about it?

Forever is not an option. Change is inevitable. I will move on, I will change, I will probably leave many people behind. The difficulty lies in not leaving what I became this year, because if leave that behind I will leave a good proportion of myself. It is perhaps unfair to the rest of life to say that I found my footing a bit this year, but true.

I looked at the hopes and fears that Rowan had saved from the first Group Focus class. I have faced them, met them or they weren’t an issue. Cynicism came externally not internally. The others were all relationship orientated. I worked hard on this. I took risks. I let people closer. God drew a lot into place. I’m not all there. A long way to go. Confucious thought that, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” I had to take more than one to reach a point of beginning.

It amuses me some of the people God’s used to work in this area and why they needed to be exactly the way they are, however frustrating it can be at times.

Why must good things end?

General Life YITS

Published November 6, 2005 by

Good afternoon

BBQ with the Mellows today, at our place. Was good to catch up with them. Talked a lot, laughed much, played some cards.


Kevin (14)


Leon (14)


Phillip (17)

General Life Solomon Islands

Published November 5, 2005 by

Time out

Had all three meals outside today.

I like our verhanda. I like the sun. I like warmness. I don’t like the dog barking every three seconds.

Took laptop out to the table to get myself away from the distraction of the internet. Ploughed through getting all Special Ministry topic journals together and doing Kingdom of God assignment. At lunch I moved on to attempting to write my NT Bible study. A simple 500 words on any New Testament text you so choose for whatever audience sounds quite easy. HA. I changed my mind about 15 times. I have finally settled on doing the Centuion’s faith story thing in Matthew 8. I got pretty much nothing done. Outside was fairly free of distraction aside from the stupid dog and the time I made the move to the hammock and came oh so close to falling asleep.

Hit 4:00pm. I walk inside and find Sam looking for me. Didn’t hear her come in (sorry Sam :P)We ended up wandering up to Morrisons (the cafe whose coffee card I’ve gotten numerous free ones on, the best within walking distance). I had a latte, Sam a milkshake, we shared this berry cheesecake thing. It was GOOD! Spent over an hour up there talking and talking and more talking. Bit of laughing, bit of serious talk, bit of idle chatter. Very enjoyable. Thanks Sam!

There was a really old St. Johns’ Ambo guy there in full uniform. I had a bit of an internal chuckle (theres a word that’s a bit annoying) at some of the conversation he was having with those around him. Sam and I gave eachother a few grins over stuff he said. Hehe, an old lady came up to say goodbye to him. Some old ladies are just really beautiful, despite having all old hands and wrinkles and everything, she had these really cheerful eyes and nice smile. He points to the skin on her hands and goes, “You have the same problem as me.” Then he proceeds to talk about how horrible the drugs are and they use all these brilliantly non-modern words and are just superbly carrying on conversation as polite half-strangers. Yes Sam I was listening 😛 Only took a moment to take that in.

Nothing much else happened after getting home. I don’t know where all my time went this evening. Jess came over to get her computer doctored by Dad. That’s about all.

Someone stood on my Palmers Cocoa Butter bottle thing (best stuff in the world)without realising it, hence moisturiser all over the carpet, big mess. Not too impressed. At least it doesnt smell too much (and rather nice)and is no horrendous colour.

Coffee General Life

Published November 4, 2005 by

Culture to culture

Australians are bigots.

At least when it comes to Americans.

Nothing frustrates me more when certain people I know complain about American’s as if they were all ‘George Bush’ etc. How they tie everything back to Hollywood and America’s responsibility for world deconstruction.

I don’t like generalisations: which means I have to take back the first line of this blog. Oh I’m sure I make them all the time.

I cannot wipe myself from the blame I do it myself. Cultures don’t understand eachother.

Emily dumped a book in my lap tonight (borrowed from Emma). ‘God Chicks’ by Holly Wagner. I gave it a random flicking. ‘Too Hollywood’. Overuse of the word Destiny and Awesome. Chicks. I hate that phrase. So not for me. Simple. I don’t read it.

Phillip Ashley and his fiance sent a webpage link thing to us tonight. The Ashely’s are SITAG people. American’s yes. It is quite amusing, so vastly different from what most Aussies would do. It’s not what I would do. Okay so there – someone I know would say, “Thats so typically American”. Not to bag the Ashey’s, they are great people. I didn’t get to know Phillip very well (more so his sister Susan) as they left the Solomons before us. Uncle James has the best fudge recipe in the world. Extremely hospitable. Karen is from the deep south. Hey this is the way they do things.

Contrast one American family with another. My future inlaws… well not mine exactly. Sister’s potential. They wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. John would die of shame (that and Laura wouldn’t let him).

I don’t really know where this blog is actually going.

The Carters. Have I talked about them before? Surely.

John Carter. One day (we all hope) will get enough money together to come over and marry Laura. Meanwhile. I was thinking about this tonight not sure why. John’s a mountain climbing kind of guy. Quiet. Insanely sensible. A thinker. No fuss. Wouldn’t even tell someone it was his birthday if he could get away with no celebration. I know him enough, but I’ve heard enough from Laura to know this kind of stuff. I know Kristen and Josh far better.

Hrm, is this relevant to anything before. I guess I’ll tie up a loose end by saying. American families contrast sharply just like Australian or any other nationality families do.

Their family is practically our family. 😛 Now just to make things legal.

Josh added me to his msn the other night. Haven’t caught him online yet, but that’s what time differences will do to you. That’ll be interesting. Kristen’s a few years younger than me. Hanna and Joseph younger still.

Bob and Dad are like best mates (and colleages, oh that’s right, Dad’s back now).

Mum and Amy are good friends.

Hanna and Hannah are like ‘this’.

Kristen, Em, Josh and I are/were all fairly close.

Joseph 🙂 well he just fits in somehow.

and Laura and John. Well! I don’t need to say anything.

The people I want to see…

Lunchtime today, I got a craving to go see the ocean. So I went. I had to walk really fast to make it there and back and only got about 5 minutes down there. I needed to find the space, I needed to see somewhere with a clear horizon. Talked to God a bit, and just um let myself live the moment. I walked to the water’s edge and stood on there. The beach was almost empty. A couple were walking further down, aside from that, it was just me in this expanse.

I’ve always seen the sea as this place that isn’t really tied to any country.

20 minutes later I was back behind a desk.

General Life Solomon Islands