Last night I had a rather facinating conversation with a friend, I mentioned the old questions and enquires thread on Gush, which was an, ‘ask questions about guys and girls’ thread. It snowballed from when he asked, “What do you want to know?” What a minefield of opportunity! The poor boy was subjected to many many questions. Mind you, he threw a fair few of them back in my face and so I think managed to get something out of it himself.

Some of the more interesting insights actually came from his end,

“What’s something guys should know about girls?”

A good bit of rambling followed, but something that came up was in the way of compliments. I’m not exactly sure why and I’m hoping here that I can represent a female generalisation (or something’s stuffed and I’m sorry), being told by a guy that you are smart or funny or whatever is really nice, but compliments about how you look actually strike a deeper chord. I don’t think that I’m obsessed with my apperance, and I do think I’ve got a reasonable self esteem, but I’ve enough of a gague on myself to know that such things at least carry a fair bit of weight initially. They say looks aren’t supposed to matter it’s all the inner beauty stuff. That’s all very well, but something really does hit home when you can associate erm, lets use the word beauty here, with yourself.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Guys need to learn how to encourage girls appropriately and the appropriate thing is even more important when it comes to compliments, it’s the more risky, but don’t leave looks out of it all the time. Find the tact to let a girl know she’s looking nice even if you don’t intend to ask her out.

There is however the problem of her misinterpretting you as girls minds can grab at threads and go mad, so you’d better make sure you’re being consistent with all/most your female friends. Oh and don’t over do it (until you’ve due reason to), it’s just not cool and it sounds fake. Ha! I’m glad I’m not one of you; it’d be such a complicated business.

The most eye opening question of the night was this one:

“What’s something you’ve always wanted to know about guys but were too afraid to ask?”

I’m not sure whether I misinterpreted the question or if it does make logical sense, I took a bit of time wondering what to say and quite shocked myself by coming out with the following: “What do you (guys in general) think of me? I.e: all up”

I was not in any way fishing for a compliment or an affirmation despite it sounding thus. It was a strange thing to admit and I didn’t know what to think of myself afterwards.

He was silent for quite a while and came back and actually answered it. Wow uncomfortable, but a really good experience. Belive me, I’ve been rehashing it at various points in my day. Nothing like someone’s good opinon to slap a bit of worth on your forehead.

What would it be like if we were more honest with our friends? I think I’ve talked about how we suck at encouragement before.

It was good reminder to act on it more frequently. Being genuine and verbal about others people’s qualities would do marvels for the world.

Returning to the looks thing, this does need to be mentioned,
“ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. ”- (Proverbs 31:30) We need to remember very distinctly that it is not looks that are going to pull through and last the distance. Strength can be gleaned from a well placed word and helps on the immediate ‘self worth’ thing which in turn I’d hope would help in understanding a little more of how God see us. It’s not everything though.

“Why is beauty so important?” I guess that we (females) got that edge of God’s likeness. Or the humorous interpretation: each thing that God made just kept getting better and woman was last, so I guess she’s the crowning glory. Hehe.

I’m not trying to sprout, ‘How females are better’, we are fundamentally the same: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Gen 1:27), but I do think we are different.

I happened to read Psalm 139 in the NLT version some time today and it’s too good not to share:

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous–and how well I know it.

-Psalm 139:13-14 (full passage)

We just really have to learn to remind eachother of it once in a while instead of going out of our way to get it off of others.

What a thoroughly uneventful way to quit work. I left a letter on my Boss’s desk after realising (a slight oversight) that neither of them nor the manager work on Saturday.

I let Simone know and then Susan. They are sorry to see me go. Susan asked me what was next and did the whole, “You’ll be a loss to them” thing and something about, “Showing promise for working in said* trade” (So shoot me first) She’s not finishing up soon as I thought- which is better in a way, I’m not leaving the company high and dry. Despite wanting out, I don’t think I’ve quite got it in me to desert them in a desperate hour. I really like both of the ‘S’ ladies. I didn’t bother telling Grace.

Dave was a kind friend and dropped in to see me, we chatted far more than I would’ve dared if the manager had’ve been there. I returned the favor when my 2’oclock came round, went down and said hi to him while he was unpacking some beetroot – thrilling stuff.

Drove to Word as I’d planned last night, I prefer Koorong but Nunnawadding is closer than Blackburn. Word frustratingly situated. If you miss the turn into the Brandsmart sliplane you can’t just turn at the actual street. I did miss the turn.

You really shouldn’t shop when you are in a ‘whatever’ frame of mind as you end up spending more. I bought four books. I rarely am that supurfulous with money, I had the sense to restrain myself from five. There goes today’s pay. Still, I got 15% off thanks to a tabor graduation present (‘go vouchers’ *mock cheer*) and a good lot of reading/thought matter to continue with. The guy who served me was nice and gave me it (the voucher) back so I could use it again at a later date.

Christian merchandise makes me gag, if it weren’t for the occasional book or CD I’d avoid those places like nothing else. So, came home with: Big Girls Don’t Whine (which was one Roz had and shared on the ‘girls morning’ at camp and I’ve been interested in it for a long while), A Woman and Her God I confess this one was a bit on impulse, no idea what it’ll be like. A Beautiful Offering, also ‘just because I saw it’, Angela Thomas is a reasonable author ( ‘Do You Think I’m Beautiful’) it’s my hope that this one wont involve too many ‘dance’ metaphors, besides, its not about relationships in the typical sense, but about God – so surely not. I also randomly found this book called Perspectives aim’ed at 20something’s. So what. But it’s done by RELEVANT and they publish stuff that prompts thought. Brain food is something I like rather a lot and I’ve started running the parental’s shelves dry on ‘God angled books’, or at least of the ones that interest me.

I’m really tired again. Hannah was all lovely and made me chai-tea when I got home. My room’s a mess. I want more than ever to work my head and old blogs into a ‘collective’ lot of erm Rebecca essays and do something with them. I dont’ ever want to see or wear my work shirt again, but I may have one last shift next week which is a real bummer. It feels fantastic knowing I wont have to go back there and back again and again and again. /random

Another post later as something’s doing the slow roast in my brain.

*bookshop

Oh yeah thats right. I go to bed relatively unbothered by something and I wake up thoroughly confused because I’ve half realised something and it still doesn’t work! Oh I hate my brain and my subconcious sometimes! Time, time, just roll on!