Before I write anything I will first state that I do not mean (by mentioning any particulars) that I dislike them, in fact I admire them beyond all reason, I love them as friends. Here is evidence I am entirely human which I hope I’ve made extremely clear before this, but if anyone mentioned is cast in a bad light or anything I honestly don’t intend it that way. I cannot entirely guard what I think all the time and I am chosing to be honest about it as I hope if read by those I mention that they would understand.

(and I’m writing the above after this rambling thought has made it into quite a few pages of my journal, it’s good to utilze the slightly more honest medium sometimes, even if your wrists do get sore)

In the past I have looked at character in direct relation to something of myself. Flaws, specifics, strengths. The whole phrase ‘a character flaw’ should first be rendered null and void as flaw is what accentuates and in it’s entirety is character (let me finish before you think of ifs and buts). Flaws are the pock marks, no not the only ones. Character should be defined and remembered as us in our complete screwy wonderful selves. I am a, and have character. Even the most boring person in the world has character.

I have had in the past year tastes of Godly character and a bit more insight – I hope into how God puts the play dough of life through bendings and breakings to make what he wants (yet it’s still play dough hmmm). The volumes of promises that present us as marathon runners with the goal being the only real port of call and the author to write where each next foot should go.

The doxology in Jude that jas alerted me to last night is one such promise, “To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence withouth fault and with great joy…” Jude 12:24

And why character say, not in direct relationship to myself?

I was looking in the mirror and thinking, as you do and somehow it dragged itself on to _ and _. Particularly _ and how she has seemed ot change over this year..*edit*… by this stage I had a very good inkling that I was being thoroughly judgemental.

I started thinking about appearance. If for instance I totally changed myself externally. Bathrooms are females private experimental worlds to do makeup or hair radically differently to waht they would ever dare in public and dispose of any evidence of the childhood game of dressing up. (to slam a disclaimer on this as it is a generalisation and a funny observation, I don’t too seldom indulge but I think if you are female you might know what I’m talking about) Pretend.

How much do I change? Does attitude express through style?

In many ways I think we’d like to think so. I cannot however hard I try feel comfortable in non-me clothes. Low risk Rebecca, blend in, don’t care hugely about the latest trend, but don’t want to look like an absolute dag, try nice but not so nice it looks like you’re trying, Bec.

Err okay… lost train of thought for a moment.

Right. _ In considering who I was, I got a forewarned slap in the face. Externally we can be what we want. We can go from brown hair to blue hair, blonde to black. But that is not characer nor even a very sucessful attempt at portraying waht’s inside. Sure they claim goths or hippies or ‘tweens’ express themselves through what they wear. I’m sure we all subconciously at least try, or hide behind whatever brand or the brand of no brand we choose. But characer is different.

In many ways I feel like I am reguritating other people’s good garbage on the whole, ‘there is far more to people’ theory. Perhaps I am. I thought I knew it before tonight, but I now don’t think I’ve fully grasped it.

Watching someone change externally is fun. You don’t always like what yous ee, it is intimidating or wonderful or plastered across Womens Weekly and actually no direct concern of yours at all.

Fat to skinny, plain to beautiful, miss average to the next Mary Donaldson. But when do we watch the internal change? How can you monitor that?

I frequently hit points in my life where, “hey, there is something really different about me” and I either miss, or am happy about the change but I don’t know how it happens. How do you map character?

I was going to launch into some hypothesis I have about the being following doing and how at times it seems to work in reverse, but I think I will end up winding myself into a place where I can be called short and my theory left dry with some sound word butchering what I was trying to say. ie. I haven’t really worked it out myself yet.

External is not everything, not enough of an expression of character.

Being is who we are.

What we do is either a precursor into further shaping that being or extending it to wehre it can be seen and even then more exposed to alteration. I am glad this is no article so I don’t have to come up with a contention or even be very precise.

Maybe character is further removed from simple, complex or daring apperance than we think.

Living true to how we are made? Sure, strive for that.

Renewed minds and not conforming to the world (Romans 12:2), strive for that too.

If a coins value is in what the government gives it and not the image it takes/wears with (that image with) no authority to determine the value, it is just another circular piece of metal with something engraved on it. As is the next coin which may be different again, but of no use until given value. And the next and the next.

Value from authority. And with us that is God.

Analogies. They should only ever be taken as far as to prove a point, beyond which they are flawed, although not like character. Analogies imediately cease to valuable when you hit a flaw. Once the flaw is pointed out they just simply suck.

From my flawed rambly mind, journal and now blog. I give you some headspace.